Hi, I'm a 34 yr old separated mother of 3( 14, 11, 8). I have been separated for 3 yrs and still battling the frustration of communication with my ex. We have week on/ week off joint custody of our three children and it has never worked smoothly from the beginning. My middle daughter who is 11 has been living with me through the school year since Oct 2003, approx. 6 months after we split up. This has caused major issues between my ex and myself. She feels more comfortable being in one place during school. I have discussed this with my daughter and her dad, and she has tried to discuss this herself with her dad, to no avail. He is determined that I am brainwashing our daughter into not going the full week with him. She visits her dad every other week from thursday to sunday. Its approx. 6 days longer that she stays here. He said he feels she will be closer to me if I have more time with her. She has wrote letters to her dad, explaining how much she loves him, but she wants a routine and consistency. I don't feel she is staying with me more for the wrong reasons, she just doesn't want to go from house to house. I have been with my bf for 2 1/2 yrs and his 2 sons live with us too. Her dad has a gf who has lived with them for the last year and she has a son that lives with them. Over the last 6 months my other two children have been refusing to visit their dad's house too. I have been trying to encourage them as much as possible and have never held them back or refused their dad access. My oldest daughter at 14 yrs is very close to her dad. They share alot of sports interests and he plays a big part in her life. They all seemed to like their dad's gf in the beginning but now I'm hearing they don't like her. They have said she calls them names and always blames them when something is wrong, never accusing her own son. Their dad is determined he wants that time and what they want isn't important. I have exhausted all options I feel. Lawyers, counsellors, mediation, etc. My ex keeps telling me I should never have left him if I cared about my kids. There is much more but can anyone give me some advice?
Thanks in advance,
Mom in Canada
