Messages By: Candie

Quote From: hisjewel

we don't mean to do this to them.  for me it's like i have someone else controling me. i hate to be like this.  sometimes it is like a way to cry and other times i just well hmmmmmmm i don't know how to say it.  we go through a lot and even though we may not act like it bothers us or everything is ok, inside we hate ourselve and well yeah.  so we don't mean to put you all through anything and we don't mean to put ourselves through it all either.  it was a decision we made one day that we thought we could have control over and now we are lost at what to do.  it's not easy for us either....... i often ask myself what it makes the person on the other side feel like.  we don't mean to hurt you we don't.  it's like were trapped in our own silent world that we can't seem to escape.  i just reallly don't know if i know how to answeer your question but what i do know is that i don't think i could ever make you understand.. but please don't think your daughter doesn't wonder what it does to others around us that love us.......  i know i do and it just makes me angry because i don't know how to escape the thing i didn't mean to be anything.... what i thought was i wanted to lose weight and then later i end up finding out it is so much more then that....  your daughter and all of the others of us who have this even though in the begining it was our choice to do what we did we didn't know that it would take over us.... it was an innocent thing we thought....  we thought i will be able to stop... it's ok i'll only do it for a while and then it takes over and it's not us anymore.... sure we can take steps to find control over what not even we understand but it doesn't just go away.... this is somethng that haunts us everyday.... your daughter may even act like this kdoesn't scare her i know i try to act that way but inside i am soooooo scared.............  there are a lot of things that people do in their lifes that affect others.... every decision we make affects someone and well this is one that hurts really bad and i am so sorry that you have to face this.........  i hate being on this side of it but i would hate being on your side also...... 

Quote From: bmstrang

I have had extensive dental damage from my bulimia and I was just wondering if I could hear back from anyone out there has experienced the same..... I have been purging for 18 years and I knew of the consequences from the beginning but chose to ignore them. Now that I'm having to actually deal with them I would really like to hear from some other people who have or are going through them as well. I have 20 teeth left and they are not pretty.   I can smile on the inside now but not the outside.  I have two beautiful children which is a miracle in itself. They are the only two people on earth that see me smile without hiding my teeth. They are babies though. As they get older I will hide it from them as well. It just such a shameful thing.  I want so bad to be able to smile when I hear something funny. I just wonder if there is anyone out there that is going through this as well??? I would love to hear from you.....

Quote From: deanrose

My name is Dean, and I am 17 years old. I recently started talking to my mom and dad about buying a new car for myself, because I am in high school, and pretty soon I am going to be in college. I think its appropriate for me to have a new car for myself. I talked to my dad about what kind of car I would like, and he said that I would have to talk to my mom about it also, and if she says its acceptable then I can buy the car. I visited MSN cars, and looked at some of the 2006 car models, and the one that really stood out to me was the Jaguar XKR. When I told my mom what kind of car I wanted, she yelled and said no before even knowing how much it is, or anything else. She was already being a bitch, and I knew it was going to be hard to deal with her and get her approval. The car is $85,000, and my dad said he would pay in full for any car I chose. I personally don't work, and my dad doesn't want to pay for it in monthly payments. When my mom investigated what kind of car I wanted, how much it cost, and everything else, she flat out refused. She won't even give me a reason why, she just says that car is out of the question. How unfair!!!! I get straight A's in school, I plan on going to college, and everything else, so why is she being such a callous person? I hate people who are narrow-minded, and unwilling to compromise. My mom suggested that I buy an ugly Lexus, that costs around $40,000. I don't want a lexus, its ugly and old people drive them. Why do moms always have to ruin every little darn thing for teens? Dads are more open-minded and willing to cooperate, but moms (and it doesn't suprise me as women have a huge reputation for being narrow-minded, oh trust me I have been their), are just plain unfair. Doesn't anyone else agree with me? Don't I deserve the car? My mom says I should buy the car when I graduate college and make my own money? What!!?? That's like years away from now, this car model isn't even going to be around. Dean

Quote From: tamilea

MY son is 20 yrs. old, he lives at home and is not working or going to school. He has in fact been in his room for the most part of the past 3 yrs. I allowed him to quit high school only because he was supposed to finish at home. When that failed I got all the GED books and that was the plan, that failed too. He is by nature very shy and introverted only over the last few months that has changed and now he has lots of friends and is very popular, but  he  still isn't working or going to school and  I am  having trouble motivating him to keep going.

Quote From: emceachern

My son is 22, just graduated from University and we are very proud of him.  Unfortunately though, when things do not go his way he always takes it out on me.  He is living back home because he doesn't have a "real" job which is fine, he just graduated.  We feel he doesn't appreciate what we have done for him.  We paid his way through Univeristy, all expenses plus all living expenses including his cell phone, everything.  He is now debt free which is what we wanted for him.  Give him a good start.  Anyway, I get a phone call at work, him telling me how I didn't do his wash right, how he is missing his socks, the wash stinks, I shrunk his shirts etc.  He went on and on how he lived out for two and a half years on his own and how he did his wash and it was always OK.  So, he will be doing his own wash from now on, no problem there, but my question is why do I feel so devisted by this.  I feel like I've been slapped in the face and he never gets it.  Just a question for someone. 

Quote From: amfwpm4

Hi, I hope somebody might have a little advice for me. I have a 13 year son in seventh grade. Over the past two years he has had problems in school. He has had problems being responsible completing assignments. He also had an on going problem with the boy who lived across the street: teasing him, throwing things at him and being a real pest, (maybe bully). He has since moved. This year it has been the same thing, quit a few in school detentions, and basically verbal sexual harassment of a girl in his science class.Also, another boy was involved with this. Needless to say I was mortified, than out raged and wanted to ring his neck. I've also recently caught him in allot of lies about school and money disappearing from around the house.  

     My husband and I have done all the typical, normal, common sense disciplinary actions as well as contact all the teachers and staying in touch with them. So far none if this is working. I'm afraid of where this behavior might lead if we can't get a grip on itThe one common thread that all the teachers say is he tries to be the class clown.  

   I know this is an incomplete explanation of the situation but I"m all out of ideas and would love to have some advice or suggestions. I am seriously considering military school but there is not one close to us and I can't afford the tuition.  

   We have 3 other children and my son is the 3rd child. So we do have some parenting experie