Quote From: lbhat67 I only know from my experiences. I love my husband with my entire being. I respect and admire him. I have been bipolar since I was 12. I am now 39. I have had many affairs. Do I try to hurt my husband on purpose? Absolutely not! Do I care if I "catch" something? Not at the time of the indiscretion.
I care about how that person makes me feel just at that moment. There are no fears of unpleasant consequences, reckless enthusiams takes over. I have no conscience about it. I hate that. I have lied for years. I continue to lie. I can't hurt him like this. He only knows about 2 of my affairs (one in '95 in which I became pregnant and one in '97 in which I became pregnant).
I would like to recommend a book or at least take a quote from the book, "Bipolar Disorder-A Guide for Patients and Families" by Francis Mark Mondimore, M.D.
Here is a quote... "The feelings of exuberance and overconfidence that characterize mania can lead to several pattens of behavior typical of the manic state: spending sprees, sexual promiscuity, and overuse of alcohol and other intoxicating substances....Increased sexual feelings can lead to affairs or promiscuity, actions that can be life-threatening."
I am sorry for what I have done. If I could change it I would. I can't. I just want to feel normal again.
lbhat
I have been struggling with this issue that he didn't think of me yet knew enough to turn it off and on depending on his whereabouts. His affair was taking place while on business trips. I was at home. He bought a prepaid cell phone so he could stay in touch with her w/o any suspicions on my part. It seems as though everything was well thought out and planned out. This wasn't just a one or two night affair, although he admits to sleeping with one of the women twice but thought she was skanky. In fact he signed up on Match.com portraying himself to be single and in search of a long term relationship. We had just adopted another child and he was traveling 3-4 nights a week.
I struggle with believeing the, " I didn't think about you" well then how could he be so cagey if there was no thought to me?
I will look at that book. One of the ones that we found was Bipolar for Dummies. It is a very good, not too technical book. My emotions range from acceptance to want to throw him out. It is nice to hear about someone with the disorder who can help me to make sense out of it...such as it is.
I appreciate you sharing your mindset with me. All of you who replied. I appreciate it.
