Messages By: cndrlla

This man is the scariest creature I have seen in a very long time!!!  I am seriously afraid of what he may do to his wife and hope and pray that she has some really good protection while she is going through getting this psycho out of her life.

Her Infidelity has absolutely nothing to do with his behavior and for anyone to blame her is insane. 

I wouldn't be surprised if he went after Dr. Phil because, in his sick mind, I'm sure he has convinced himself that if not for Dr. Phil helping his wife take back her life....which is totally HER decision.....she would still be with him.  NOT! But he won't see the truth because he is a total nutcase!!

I am truly afraid for her and the children....especially when Jeffery knows he really has lost control over them all.    

 Shame on you, Danny!

 I had to turn off the show midway.....I was so tired of the phony whining, and the posturing and the "always on" playing to the audience! I don't think one real thing came out of his mouth.

 'He actually had the nerve to say to his wife that if she died he'd take a date to her funeral! Wow! and then he wonders why she left him. My only real question is why did she stay with this loser for 17 years?? What a waste of time! Like Dr. Phil says: "the only thing worse than staying in a bad relationship for 17 years is staying in it for 17 years and one day!!"

I wish her luck and speed finding a GOOD man!

And I hope Danny finally finds out that before you can offer anyone anything in a relationship you have to first get right with yourself. He has never done that. A person should be an asset in a relationship...not a liability!

I hate to tell you this, but it doesn't matter what your "other half" wants! YOU have the right to a life free of this chaos and disfunction, and if there are any kids involved, get them the hell out. What do you mean you've "been trying to get out for a year and two months"? Nothing should stop you!

I know what I'm talking about....I've been there!

 Love him from a distance!!! Love yourself MORE!  

I'm 64 years old. Recently I wanted to increase my life insurance policy so that I could leave my three children $10,000 each after my pre-planned funeral expenses were paid. It would have cost me an extra $86.00 a month...(though I didn't tell them that.) I don't have a lot of money, but this was what I wanted to do.

When my kids found out I was doing this they had a fit and told me I better NOT, because they wanted me to use  however much more that increase would have cost me a month NOW myself.

They told me if I did increase my insurance they would just give the money to charity so it would be useless for me to do so. (Charity is nice, but I wanted THEM to have the money!)

I know my kids well enough that I know that they mean what they say.

Ok...they won this battle.

Sweetie, just make your immediate family your focus..your husband;  your children.....Keep them close to you......tell them...EVERY DAY... that you love them, and don't allow them to fight with each other when they are little, if you have more than one.

My three kids are very close to one another....they've had their battles over the years...but never have allowed any disputes to go on for any length of time.  Someday when I pass on, I know they will not argue over anything I have left behind....I don't have much....but, what I have will not be fought over. They have been raised to value PEOPLE and each other, not things! 

You know....before I watched the show I felt the exact same way you do. Even while watching it I found myself wanting to throw something at the first young 23 year old woman who had a constant look of winced pain on her face.......("get over it and stop whining.....JUST EAT!!!" was my initial reaction)....and I got mad at the 12 year old who lost all that weight so quickly and wound up in the hospital....but I had to give the mom credit for jumping on the problem right away. I do wish she'd make the kid get that darn hair out of her face, though!! Lord that's irritating!! 

However, after seeing the 23 year old's mother.....so cold...and listening to the sister say how their family has "never been one to say 'I love you' to each other........I kind of had to find a little more compassion.  I'm sure it's horrible to live with someone who has an eating disorder....but why not get that person help when it first starts instead of ignoring it until it's so far out of control? And, you don't turn your back on your child who has a problem.

I raised three kids...two daughters and one son....and watched them very carefully for anything like that.  Also, we had family dinners...TOGETHER..AT THE TABLE....there was no eating fast food or eating in front of the tv or skipping meals. We ate healthy but never FOCUSED on food or weight.  They are all a normal weight now and have always been...no over or underweight. And, by the way, I raised them alone and worked two and three jobs at a time, so don't think it was easy to keep an eye on them or to find time to cook meals and sit down together...but you don't chose easy, you chose right!... and, thank God for the crock pot!

They had to follow rules; they had to be clean and well-groomed.....no hair hanging in their faces!!....but we never discussed weight.....and, no matter what, all of us told each other EVERY DAY that we loved each other. It helped us through the hard times.  Even to this day, whenever we talk on the phone, we always say "I love you" to each other, and we always hug whenever we see each other.  ( I lost my brother in a car accident on Christmas Eve in 1995 and the only thing that comforted me was that the last thing I said when I spoke to him on the phone was "I love you."  I mention this because I'm beginning to think that a lot of the reason for these eating disorders is a lack of love of self, and lack of self-respect,  which stems from a lack of love, support and respect from family!

Food for thought...

I have a blog called NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM that deals with common sense (and lack thereof) parenting, grandparenting, etc issues....and this show today is just the kind of thing I talk about!

I cannot believe the blase attitude of that mother of the 17 year old as the kid proudly defended her "right" to behave in such a stupid and dangerous manner!  The mother just sat there with a dumb smile on her face and made excuses for this girl. Where IS common sense?? I would have jerked that kid's chain so hard the FIRST time I caught her drinking...and the computer would have been taken away immediately for a very long time; she would have had to earn it back...and then be only allowed to use it with supervision.

This child is well on her way to alcohol addiction if she isn't there already, and THAT issue needs to be addressed before any other!!

Also, I own a residential cleaning business, and let me tell you, before I hire anyone, I thoroughly check them out! Besides a criminal background check, I also go to MySpace, Facebook and YouTube to see if they come up. If I saw this young woman drunk, passed out, her clothes half off, I would NOT hire her! After all, her moral character and judgement abilities are very important....(not to mention that, because she is drunk half the time, she probably also has regular hangovers and couldn't be depended upon to get herself to work on time or to do a good job if she did manage to drag herself there!)...I am sending those who work for me into people's homes where they will have contact with the client's personal property and young children who may be in the home at the time we are there. I not only do not want people like this kid working for me, but I have an obligation to my clients not to put anyone like that into their homes. 

And, if you are thinking, "Oh well, it's just a cleaning job; who cares?"....let me tell you that I start my people out at $15 an hour and they get pretty good raises, plus bonuses, and they have been with my company for years!

I've had people who have worked for me while they are going to school and their wages help pay for their tuition while they are heading towards a good future. I also have single moms who are able to support themselves and their children on the wages I pay.

They are treated with dignity and respect because they DESERVE to be!

It It beats the heck out of  working in a fast food place for minimum wage!

EVERYTHING you do all your life affects your future.....you better consider that before you blither on doing stupid stuff! 

I am a mother of three and a grandmother of five and I have LOTS to say! You may be interested in my blog: NONONSENSEGRAMMYTREE.BLOGSPOT.COM / because it deals with a lot of these issues....and, I am always interested in feedback from grandparents, parents and anyone else who has something constructive to say!

Check it out.