Messages By: cndrlla

Quote From: dannastaff

I was a young mother. I found out I was pregnant at 15 year olds, which wasn't my first pregnancy. The first time I became pregnant was when I was 13 years olds. I actually lost that baby due to a miscarriage. I hide my pregnancy from my parents. They found out I was pregnant with my son at 3 months everyone knew but them. They asked me and I deny it. One day they decided to take me to the doctor because I was gaining weight and come to find out I was 3 months pregnant. I end up having my son 1 month and 11 days after my 16 birthday. His father never show up to the birth of my son, which made me a single mother. My son father is now somewhat in the picture. He is serving time in prison. He want be getting up until 2014. My son will be 11 the year he will be getting out of prison. I did graduated high school when I was 16 with a GPA at 3.8. I am currently in College for Utlrasound Tech.  

I just found out I am pregnant again at 20. Actually, I am 9 weeks pregnant. I am not sure if I am going to go through with this pregnancy or have an abortion. I have to make a decision in the next 15 weeks. I just don't want to be a single parent again. I have to much responsibility to have another baby. I recommend if young child are going to be an adult to think like an adult. Use a condom it is way more out their then getting pregnant. Also, children talk to your parents about sex before having sex or some other adult you trust.  I am not promoting sex, but lets be safe and responsible about it.

Quote From: sunnydazed

I believe this needs to be stressed a bit more since, for the most part, this seems to be a one-sided discussion...

 

There is a lot of blaming the girls here, but THE BOYS have just as much responsibility.  The fact that they don't carry the baby or give birth makes it easier for them to walk away. 

 

Mothers & fathers both need to step up & teach their sons AND daughters self-respect & respect for others.

 

If there was more respect there would probably be far less kids trying to grow up so fast.

 

Parents:  STOP trying to be your kids' friend & start being the PARENT!

Quote From: tsmom06

How can you honestly say that to someone who is pregnant? You are a very bitter person to even say that.  At this point, she just needs support not a judgemental person telling her what she has done wrong.  That is what is wrong with people these days.  Life isn't easy as it is and with another child on the way, she needs to know that she can take care of herself and her kids.  Before you can make judgements on people, remember every instance is different.  You have to get to know a person before you can judge them.  You can't just put everyone in a stereotype.

Quote From: tsmom06

How can you honestly say that to someone who is pregnant? You are a very bitter person to even say that.  At this point, she just needs support not a judgemental person telling her what she has done wrong.  That is what is wrong with people these days.  Life isn't easy as it is and with another child on the way, she needs to know that she can take care of herself and her kids.  Before you can make judgements on people, remember every instance is different.  You have to get to know a person before you can judge them.  You can't just put everyone in a stereotype.

Quote From: minnesotanice

 It's because you sound bitter and your words are angry, that's why she said that.   The girl on Dr. Phil is 14 years old . . . .and she made a big mistake and error in judgment.   She has been punished tremendously by her family, her friends, and the community . . . .and if she were asked, I have a hunch she wishes she could take back the day she got pregnant a hundred times over.  Give her a break . . .getting pregnant is something that happens unexpectedly to many, many women, and yes, it should not happen to young girls, but it does. 

Quote From: songbird53

Dr. Phil,  I wish you would please promote adoption for these young people who have no wherewithall to raise a baby!  You barely MENTION it!!   Of course you KNOW there are so many couples with good, stable homes wanting to adopt.  WHY don't you promote adoption more, especially to these teens??

 

I really wish you would do a whole show about adoption- not about the happy parents who are so fortunate to have their adopted children, but with mothers who actually gave up their children for adoption, the whole emotional process of it, and the courage.

 

Dr. Phil, people listen to you.  Please, promote adoption!!!

Quote From: brattykatty_5

Im about to be 21, I have a 17 month old son and Im due April 10 with my second son, I live with the dad we are not married and we want children. I care for my kids and YES I DID GET "KNOCKED UP" agian on purpose, we both planned this baby we wanted him and actually had been trying since RIGHT after my son was born Im talking 2 wks after we want a big family. I do not like feeling like dirt because Im a young mom there are some moms out there that are 100 times better then older moms, people have heads and know what sex leads too dont put all of us down for being young moms. I just heard something on the show that pushes a button, it sounds like everyone (Gov. socitey etc...) are trying to tell us what is the right age to have kids well thats not your call and dont shove it down our necks)

Quote From: mommyjenna

I was a teen mom at age 18, but with the maturity of a 15 year old. 

 

My parents supported me fully for the first year and I wasn't a great mom at all.  It wasn't until I married the father that I even decided to begin to grow up.  I married the father and was able to finish college, thank God.  The father turned out to be physically abusive and quite unfaithful and I left him and moved into low cost housing.  That was a serious wake up call.  That was 20 years ago and even then, there was a mentality that it was perfectly okay to have a baby and go on welfare.  Even 20 years ago I was seeing 2nd generation welfare mothers. 

 

When I got pregnant, it wasn't a socially acceptable thing to have a baby out of wedlock.  Today it's commonplace and almost too acceptable.  I remember walking down the street about 10 years ago and overhearing a teen saying to a friend "I think I'll have a baby next year".  I was in shock.   It's a fine line between being shunned and being accepted I suppose. 

 

Anyway, for the past  four years I've been a foster parent.  I called myself mommyjenna because that's what some of the little ones called me.   And as a foster parent, I get called regularly because children are in crisis - most are the children of young single mothers.  Mothers who don't have a clue.  I had a child of two who used to wake up and try to get himself his own breakfast.  I see a lot of messed up kids and it breaks my heart.

 

And I now see some of the teens that I've fostered short term having children.  This really truly is a crisis.

A generational crisis.  A moral crisis. 

 

This show wasn't a real wake up call for me.  I've seen it all.  At least these kids had 2 parents who were concerned. What about the mother of a 13 year old who is excited about being a grandmother and sees nothing wrong with it?  Sees nothing wrong with going on welfare?  Sees nothing wrong with a child having a child?

 

I keep wondering when is the government going to wake up? ! When are the taxpayers going to wake up? We should have parenting classes that are MANDATORY at grade 8, or before they can drop out of school!  Why make them study geometry or geography and make those subjects manditory if they're going to drop out out school to have some kids.   And the parenting classes should show more videos like the ones Dr. Phil showed, with the teen moms in school.  And what about those computerized babies?  Why doesn't every school have them and make every single boy and girl take one home for the weekend?   These things work!  I remember seeing a young girl at a bowling alley and I asked her how she was doing and what she thought.  She said "It's going to be a loooong time before I have a baby".   I think I've only ever seen 2 of these babies in my life, but they are so brilliant and effective.  I'd always wanted to start a program to get more of these computerized babies in school and lobby to make parenting classes mandatory.  

 

 

 

Quote From: joyousmama

Please don't judge or categorize young mothers.  I have never abused my kids.  We can take a bad choice and let God turn it around for good.  It is not our place to say whether someone is fit or not.  All we can do is pray for those little souls.

Quote From: tsmom06

I actually did read your article and I can honestly tell a lot about who you are as a human being and I can tell you that you wouldn't like it.  Just because a girl is a young mom does not mean she will abuse or kill her children.  Actually, if you listen to the news it is actually older parents who are doing that more often.  It does not matter your age.  Older parents can be just as bad.  Yes, teen parents aren't equipt to be perfect parents but with support they can still raise healthy and happy kids.

 

I could spend all day countering your article but I will leave you with one thing.  My parents did help me out when I had my daughter young but I wil tell you this.... They have told me that she is the best thing to ever happen to this family and they wouldn't give her up for anything even tho they wish I wouldn't have had her so young.  So before you state your opinion, just remember that it is just your opinion.  It isn't fact or logic and most people would love to show you how wrong you are.