Messages By: dgarian

I wish I had this advice in front of me after my last breakup.  I was devastated and seriously thought of suing him, as hitting him in his pocket would have really, really pissed him off.  I thought of keying his car; running over him if I saw him on the street (thank God I never saw him on the street).  All of these were healthy fantasies to help w/the grieving/healing process.  If I had acted on these fantasies it would have been unhealthy and I would have ended up in jail therefore prolonging my grief and letting him ruin my life.  Instead, I got a second job and cried on the way home.  I was grieving.   It is very difficult to think clearly and rationally after a devastating, blind-sided breakup.  You have to muster all the strength you have to get through it.  YOU are the only one that can do it.  But I do now know that I wasted way too much time on grieving for someone who didn't love me and could break my heart w/out giving it a second thought.  You've got to go thru it... eveyone must.  It hurts like hell... but don't do anything until you have let some time pass... as you don't want to do something you may regret and also it keeps him fresh in front of your mind when that is the last place he/she should be.  Keep busy.. very busy... and take the time to grieve before you get involved with anyone else b/c that will be a disaster if you don't.  Dating is a way to find out if you want to be with that person for the rest of your life.... but it still doesn't help knowing this when you are still trying to figure it out and they have decided to move on.  Oh the pain!!! 

In my family, a family member did this very same thing to another 3 yr old family member (his daughter).  He got away with it and is living the life of Riley today.  It happened and for years after, but somehow he wormed his way out of it and even cares for his grandchildren. I don't like being in his company, but he is still loved by his family even though they all know what he did.  As far as I know, he has not had any rehabilitation and lives a wonderful life.  His daughter has somehow forgiven him and life goes on as usual.  Wonder if he harmed other children.  I never heard of this until many years after it happened and I was told by another family member.  God only knows what that man got away with in his lifetime.  Did he do this to others too?  Who knows?

 

 

I need to lose about 50 lbs myself.  I live North of Boston near about 1/2 hr from NH line.  Let me know if you want to meet up and go walking ... I love walking but I have NOOOO motivation. 

 

I am a professional working woman w/2 grandchildren whom I adore.  I work full-time at a local Hospital and would love to meet up with a buddy in a similar situation as me.

 

Let me know!

 

Cheers,

Donna