Messages By: mjoan27

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February 15, 2006, 2:08 pm PST

depression

Quote From: mckenna1

Some people need a list for ‘division of labors’ or a list stating who is responsible for what.  Now enforcing this may be a whole nother matter entirely.  The last couple with her working three jobs and him one and sitting on his but sure hits home.   

          Now while my mother stayed home with us four kids and my father worked 16 hrs a day mom doing all the things that needed doing around the house was acceptable.  If both people work then both should divide home thing without one doing all the things.   

          I worked over 40 hrs and still had to do the laundry, food shopping, cooking, housework, and pack his lunches while he sat on his but.  My now ‘x’ husbands excuse was “My mother never complained.”  Even when his mother told him, she didn’t complain because she didn’t go to work until after he turned 15 years old, before that she stayed home and raised all four of the children.  

          Does the 2nd couple the woman that has to be engaged to a man is she desperate?  Does she have to be engaged to anyone just to feel that she has a man and now she’s complete?  She doesn’t need a man to do this and she definitely doesn’t need him.  Hey but if she takes him she gets what she gets, because he’s not going to change why would he its worked for him so far.   

          I agree 100% with Dr. Phil these people are moochers, and the women are traveling on the Egyptian river of De-Nile .  I would rather be alone (without a man) and happy then to be with a moocher or user and be miserable, but that’s just my 2 cents worth. 

 It seems that with the second couple Dr. Phil might have questioned the husband and wife more about the progression of things in their life.  The man had been functioning well.  The woman is spending a lot of money.  What happened here? It seems to me that the man looks depressed and may need help.
 
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May 13, 2006, 11:19 am PDT

Sad but true

 Addiction is a disease that destroys a family.  Unfortunately, "you can take a horse to water but you can' make him drink."  Until Brandon is ready to make changes, the family will continue to suffer along with him.  If you turn him loose and refuse to help him he will die.  That is why the family suffers as long as the addict does.  I suffered with my son until he was 43, enabling him for a number of years.  After numerous treatment centers, I chose LaHa.  It was the right place at the right time.  It took and he is sober, straight, going to meetings still, about to marry, and has reconnected with his children.  Says he is high on life and feels like he is on a "luge, barreling through a happy life."  Sadly Brandon will continue to manipulate and cause pain for himself and his family until his pain is so great he wants God more than drugs.  Tell the family to pray, give him food when he is hungry, take him to the doctor when he is sick physically, bring him home for the night when he has no place (or to salvation army), but do not put him in a motel room, or give money; give love only.  If he wants treatment, get it, but only if he wants it. That is what I did, and it worked.  Nothing will work unless he wants it. my prayers are with you all.
 
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May 13, 2006, 11:21 am PDT

can relate P.S.

 The marriage has nothing to do with Brandon.  If they are having marital problems, they are using Brandon as the scape goat for it................ok??? Got it????
 
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May 24, 2006, 1:35 pm PDT

scape goat

Quote From: coreycelia

Mom-in-law needs to respect angee's decision on not smoking around the children.  Everyone agrees that Angee is a terrific mom.  Part of what makes her terrific is keeping her children healthy.  I am a smoker who does not smoke around my 2 sons.  (Never have.  Never will!)  My home and vehichle are smoke free.  I do not take my children to a place or residence that is filled with smoke.  If family members who smoke in the house want to see the children, I will meet them somewhere else.  This part of that conversation really teed me off.  She is the mother.  She is the one who decides.  She does not have to sit back and allow the children to come home and smell like smoke from the mom-in-laws house.  I wouldn't let them go either!  She can take it outside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

 They are both using the mom as a scapegoat.  This man needs to get a grip on himself and go to therapy to find out why he would want to marry someone who obviously has a problem staying with one man and constantly needs attention of other men.  She has proven this time and again.  Her poor children.  She is going to teach him how to be married????Plllllllllllleassssssssse!! Don't marry her....not for a long time!! Joni
 
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May 25, 2006, 7:27 pm PDT

cheating fiances

 I am very worried about the state of our society.  The government has no common sense, and now it is apparent people who elect them have no common sense.  When couples are dating and in love, wanting to get married, that is when they are at their best behavior-wise.  If the man marries the woman, he deserves to be miserable.  What is wrong with him that he would put up with that behavior and continue to plan to marry r? Unless, of course, he knows he is guilty of something.  As far as that woman with the wandering fiance, get a grip!!  He has a pattern of behavior and you aren't even married yet.  It would be different if you had been married and he was going through some mid-life crisis...then you could work with him.  He has done this three times already, and even comes on to other women.  He admits he has a lack of control, blaming his problem on his hormones.  She is blinded and in denial, wanting to believe him.  Why would she want to settle for this treatment?  Why would she even be still talking about it?  Do these people feel so low about themselves that they think they can't find a decent person that can be trusted?  Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should marry him/her.  Sometimes, unfortunately, those we love may not be good for us.
 
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September 23, 2006, 9:15 am PDT

Get a grip

 Have you women not gotten the message yet?  Even if he agreed to marry you now, after all this, why in God's name would you want to marry these guys, and why don't you wake up to the fact that if you haven't been able to work out this Most important issue, if you did marry them, the marriage would likely fail...........................Look at past history and how much time you have wasted on these losers and how much of your life you have given up for nothing.  Stop it now.  Old enough to know better in Texas
 
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September 26, 2006, 1:13 pm PDT

Sick

 Sorry......Tony is obviously mentally ill....deficient mentally in some way...........alzheimers?  You need to check out of this NOW................or prepare for no life except to be a caretaker.............which is what you are now.  He can't even clean out his garage.  Get out now and have a life............you can get sex from other places and that is all you aare getting from him. Joan in Texas, and old enough to know what I am talking about.
 
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September 26, 2006, 2:00 pm PDT

Girlfriend

 Rosanna, girlfriend, you don't want to marry this arrogant  man.  He has used you in all ways.  You are a nice woman, kind, and you have rationalized that if you could marry him, it would be ok.  Sometimes it is not right to marry the one we love.  You are far too good for the likes of him.  I can guarantee you that if you were able to force him to marry you, you would end up unhappy because he would throw it up to you every chance he got.  He is waiting to see if someone better will come along.  LEAVE him NOW.  Don't marry him even if he wants to.  You go find yourself someone who appreciates you and have a nice life!! Texas
 
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September 26, 2006, 2:07 pm PDT

Tony is sick

Quote From: cuddles05

WHY DO YOU THINK TONY IS SICK.THE GUY TOLD HER HE DID'NT WANT TO GET MARRIED.AND SHE STAYED JUST LIKE I DID.AND ABOUT SEX YES YOUR RIGHT YOU CAN GET SEX FROM OTHER PLACES.BUT DO YOU REALLY WANT TO.WHAT ABOUT STD'S AND OTHER THINGS YOU CAN GET FROM THESE SO CALLED OTHER PLACES.AT LEAST SHE KNOW'S  WHERE SHES GETTING THE SEX FROM AND IT'S SAFE.YOU HAVE TO BE A HOOKER TO GET IT OTHER PLACES.

 

                                                                  KATHY

 

                                         

 It is obvious that Tony is mentally ill.  He is confused and has a difficult time making sense.  My aunt sits at a dining table with a man who has alzheimers and talks just like him..........He is not really making sense, but is trying real hard to..........again.........I advise you don't marry him even if he is "willing to marry you if I will lose you."  After all this time, cut and run with your loss.
 
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April 24, 2007, 2:32 pm PDT

Purity and fathers

Quote From: sillywilly

 The Father that I saw today had daughters and his focus was on them.  I think it would be great if you wanted to start a program for boys on being pure and waiting for the person that God has chosen for them.  We are sexual beings and we all have free will to choose who we will have sex with or to CHOOSE not to have sex with but to wait till the time when you will MAKE love to your spouse.  Did your children come out of your Love making or just your sexual act?
I hope because of Love.
 My son in law took my grand daughters out to dinner and gave them each a wonderful promise ring when they started menstruation.  They were so excited to receive flowers and the beautiful gift.  He discussed life with them and the importance of this new phase of their lives.  They benefitted greatly from this, and go to him with problems, etc.  He continues to take them out periodically when he feels it will be beneficial or when they request it.  Of course, he gives them individual attention for the dinner, etc.  Their private schools also have father daughter formal dances, which helps.  I believe it is very important for both parents to e involved highly, and what a special way to do this!!  It is remembered far longer than a facts of life talk.  Of course, he did not make them "swear to purity" but explained relationships, etc. Boys would greatly benefit from the same thing in my opinion.  Joan
 

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