Messages By: scarlett65

The segment about the couple with the oral sex issue did not go into enough depth for me. I feel that the wife's situation wasn't such a quick fix as Dr. Phil made it out to be. The way it was presented was that the husband was pressuring the wife into something that she did not want to do, but it was obvious that she was doing it on a regular basis. And as far as her feeling like she was being prostituted, accepting gifts isn't any different from accepting money for gifts. My belief is that you don't start nothing you can't finish. If she was so strongly against oral sex, that should have been made clear from the start of the relationship. Contrary to popular belief, men are not always looking for a "freak" to have an intimate relationship with. If women were to use an honest and up-front approach to their sexual preferences in the beginning, they wont sell themselves short in the end. 

For the woman who is having difficulty orgasming, I want to tell you about myself.  I'm married and have always been increadibly sexual.  However, it is difficult for me to orgasm during intercourse.  I've worked on it with my husband and occasionally it does happen.  I can also occassionally have an orgasm during oral sex.  However, we've found that masturbation is the most effective way for me to have an orgasm.  Now, we enjoy fourplay and intercourse together.  I truly enjoy this but rarely orgasm.  Afterward, my husband masturbates me with his hands and a toy.  With this stimulation I almost always orgasm and we both feel completely fulfilled and satisfied.  It has become our routine and I tell my husband how much I appreciate him loving me enough to do this.  Sometimes women really need more stimulation to orgasm, but that doesn't mean we don't enjoy sex or can't be fulfilled.  Maybe you can find something that works for you.  Of course, putting pressure on yourself won't help either.  So, just plan to not even try to orgasm for a week or two and enjoy sex again.  Good luck!