Quote From: sarahjs26All I know is I have to clear up a few things, about some of your comments, I never bash the Bio mom, in fact I am her biggest advocate, defending her and her actions every time you turn around. The clothes burning, there was never a teary goodbye, in fact kiddo just thinks she lost those pesky little shirts, and there is no divorce situation, my husband and I have been married for almost 7 years, and she has no memory of her bio- parents being together as a family, and I have been my step daughter primary care giver since she was 4 years old, and prior to that the bio-mom, more or less gave her to the neighbors. so no I am not overstepping any boundries, by loving that child as my own.
Your are right you are not over stepping you boundries. I am also the step-mother and the primary care giver to my husbands two children. I have been with my husband for 10 years, his daughter was 5 and his son was 7 when we got together. A little over 2 years ago my husband fought and got custody of them. I have 4 children from my first marriage, so I am no stranger to motherhood. I know it can be hard to gain the respect of your step children, I don't think a bio-bond has anything to do with it. Your step daughter is entering into her "teen" years and the only thing you can do is stay strong, let her know what her boundries are, and let her grow also. Pick you battles. You can't make the rules for her in her mothers home. So don't try. But, you can set them in your home, make them clear and stick to them. Sometimes the only thing you can do is love them. Most teens rebel at some point or another. Don't let her play you and her mom against each other. Tell her, it may be okay for you to wear those cothes at your mother house and wear makeup there too. But, your not going to do it here. Set up times for her and you to do girly things, like get you nails done or take her to a spa. Take her shopping and let her pick out something that makes her feel older, but is not skimpy. It is hard to raise teen girls no matter who gave birth to them. Just hang in there and stick to your guns. You both will make it through, (even though there will be times you think you won't) and she will be a better person when she grows up because of you. Thank god for you her and keeping loving her. God bless you.
Mother of 6
