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October 29, 2005, 7:08 pm PDT
It's your daughter!
Quote From: catfish05My 13 yr old daughter brought home a bad report card. It had a 50 in math a57 in language and a 69 in science. the rest were A's and B's. She was grounded all last year( yes the entire year) for C's. She shows pigs and we raise them she has learned alot from this. And she has won many things. This is something she is very good at and something that she loves. She is in extra help for math. My husband is very strict on her. He has taken all the pigs away from her I mean sold all of them, he has grounded her, and now he thinks we should just be mean to her everyday. He spanked her 3 times last night because she did not have the amount of math problems done in the time that he allows. I think this is alittle extreme. He has only been her father for 4 years.( her real father doesn't care. He stated that he would sign away his rights to her so my husband can adopt her. which he does want to do.) He thinks because he can feel as if she was his own she should automaticaly feel the same. I mean she loves him. but now she has made the statement she does not want him to adopt her. How can I explain to him he is hurting the situation?
I think that he is extreme and that he still need to make sure she knows he loves her.
He told her last night he did not want her to say anything to him about school because she was a lier. because she lied to us. I think that he should still offer for her to talk to him, then we can check it out to find out if she is lying.
Any advice will help. I do hope you read this since it's been a few days. As I read your email, I couldn't help but feel for this 13 year-old. Does a 13 year-old really get spanked? This seems highly inappropriate. Just the thought of a man putting his hands on your daughter makes me sick. How could you stand by and let this happen? The fact that she was spanked 3 times in one night deeply disturbs me and I feel like authorities should come into your home for child abuse! I personally would not let anyone spank my child who is not the dad. But, I must tell you that I do not believe in spanking to teach. What is she learning by this? She is only going to hate this man, if she doesn't already she is a Saint. Your child is your first priority, if the husband doesn't like it then too bad! Tell him to get involved somewhere else and let you deal with her studies. Sometimes you have to stand up and be strong for your daughters sake, she doesn't have anyone else but you!!!!!!
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