Messages By: ma_hughes

Well I have 3 boys 17 and buried, 13 and confused, 11 and avoiding the reality of it all. I had a terrible week with my 13 year old, leaving school scaring everone to death then having a mini break down crying and shaking the vice principle brought him home then he got into my nerve pills and got somewhat violent on me. He seems to be better this week I have contacted a grief councler in our area. So hopefully things will be better for him. I worrie about my youngest though cause he just dont talk about it and leaves the room when someone else does. I'm ok just worried about my loved ones. There is some finance problems because I am stupid and wasnt thinking strait after and used like $1000.00 for who knows what. We will get that taken care of though. I am told I do well but I just feel powerless to help my other boys. Any suggestions? oh and I cant spell very well sorry about that.

Hey self. Youve done all you can for everyone involved. I am proud of you! As far as your boys go just be there and get them the help they need. Maybe things will work out.  

  

Love Ya self! 

OK hows this one people. My son 17 died in Nov.,2005. His dad saw him on good years 1or2 times. He did try to send b-day cards with a $10.00 walmart card. He paid $125.00 support monthly. He didnt call but maybe 3 or4 times a year. The last contact he made with his son was one year and 3 months before he passed away. His last word then was that he hated him and never wanted to talk to him again. At the funeral I let him help with all the arragments and he was heartbroken over how things were leaft. Then he told me thanks for never ever trying to come between them and he was sorry he didnt excersize visits more. About two to 3 weeks later he decided to inform me that he deserves half of all insurance because he is the dad and that he had checked it out and I had better pay him. How is this possable? He did support my son in anyway he had no hand in his life other than $125 a month and that was the state that had it withheld from his check. It isnt like he even took the time to send it himself! So I have to give him $20,000.00. For a sperm donation 17 years ago! My son hated him for everthing he wasnt and everything he did to him. He was not nice to my boy when he did see him. I tryed to talk to my boy over and over and tell him that his dad loved him and nomatter what he was his dad, but hewouldnt hear of it he said my dad is JD thats my husband now. So any ideas how to fight this wanna be man? Or should I just pay him off to leave me alone? Will he ever let me have some peace?

The insurace I was talking about goes like this. One bit of it was my personal auto policy, and the car he was in (auto policy). In my state (which my ex doesn even live in) has a law on the books that states any accidental insurance from the death of a minor child has to be split 50 50 as long as both parents were contributing to raising the child. So its iffy at best. Who knows, when the time is right I guess Ill know what is the right thing to do...I hope. Until then I refuse to speak to him. Thank you for your support.

Thank you for verbalizing what I feel! I apprecate all the support.

I want to thank you for that. I do hug and kiss them and tell them  how much I love them. I think all my I LOVE YOU'S ...may be working. I hope things will be easyer for you than for us. Thank you again.

I want to move away from here a live on a farm in WV or near there. How do people start all over like that? Sorry this is off the subject. I just need some direction though.

My year started with severe pain. It took 4 months and a gallblatter removal to determine that I was septic in my small intestines. Well I was diganoes witk crones disease. Ok then my son was killed. Now I need a historectomy.  My other son is failing school he says he cant do his work. I dont want to have surgery with all this going on. I just want to move away. And forget it all. I dont know if my family can handle anymore. Anyone got any ideas on what I should do? I am so tired. I dont have anything left to give. Help this is just a overveiw theres more things that are smaller wrong too. I dont even know what to do to try to fix my family.

I think it would be great help if people would not say if theres anything I can do....... how about stopping in and looking around and really helping. If the dishes are dirty do them if the clothes need washed do it for the grievinf family. And make them lay down for awhile let them rest. I never got that from anyone and I still need it at first I didnt know it now I'm too embarressed to ask in case peolpe dont mean it and they are trying to be nice. If you want to help do it dont ask! Oh by the way I am a grieving mother. The nicest thing I had someone do is buy a picture she saw I had acollection of Thomas Kincad and bought me one. That really is nice but when you cant even think straight the last thing you need to be in charge of is the whole familys clothes and food and cleanlyness of the house! Anyway if anyone out there wants to know what to do for a friend or family member this should help. It will be sutch a relive dont be scared if they cry alot at first its what they need.