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molly15
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November 1, 2005, 2:35 pm PST

15 year old adopted son who can't see any thing wrong with lieing.

My husband and I adopted a foster child last year.  This young man is now 15 and has been in our home for 3 years.  Two years as a foster child. He is ADHD, ODD .  His mother gave him up for adoption and he gave her 2 trys to get her act together to be his mom but she choose drugs instead.  Our son was in the foster system and movied 7 times before he came to us.  He has told us many times that he has lied all his life so why should he change now.  How do we help this young man to understand that has long as he lies about everthing we will always have trouble trusting him. 
 
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molly15
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November 1, 2005, 2:40 pm PST

Foster Parenting

Quote From: bsread

I am a new foster parent of 8months, We have had 3 girls once for 7 weeks and now have two little boys ages 20months and 9 months both drug addicted at birth, we have had them for almost 6 months.  they have been in 3 differnt forster homes,they are only 11 months apart and the other foster homes thought they were too difficult.  It makes me sick knowing that the state has given their biological mother 20 months, almost two years to get her act together, they ( the state) has paided for her to go to a  drug rehab  and she has left after only 3 or 5 days, she was to stay for 60 days, they offered it to her 7 times. They still give her the benifit of the doubt, it makes me sick that they just don't take away her rights after all this time and find them a loving home where they can bond and grow up normal. We have fallen for them and hope the state will make them quote"free" children soon.
As a foster parent you will be come very upset with the system.  The system is there to unite the parent or parents with the child.  That is their main goal.  They will bend over backwards to do this.  They will exhaust all the avenues out there to get to his goal.  When it is very clear to the caseworker that getting the family back together is not going to work.  That is when the rights are terminated.  Have you home study done and get it updated so you are all set to go to start the adoption process. 
 
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