I am the step-mother of a 12 year old girl who has little or no respect for her father and I. (I've been with her father and living in the home for the past 2 years) She is a slob, to the point of being unsanitary. (Example: leaving food on kitchen floor, leaving sanitary napkins on the floor) We've told her dozens of times that she needs to clean after herself, and we've explained that we have younger children around who we don't want exposed to some of the unsanitary things she does, because it becomes a health issue for them. Asking her to pick up doesn't work because she either ignores us, or will pick up the mess, then do the same exact thing next time around!
She makes excuses all of the time as to why she isn't doing school work, to her she's not accountable for ANY of her actions. When confronted, she will tell her father or I to shut the f**k up and leave her alone. Or she'll tell us we're being a-holes because we expect her to do her school work, and clean up after herself. I don't know how to punish her. When she's way out of line, I tell her go to her room, and she looks right at me and says "no, i'm not." We took her TV and stereo out of her room as punishment, to no effect. She torments her younger sister to the point of making her cry, then tells her "stop being a retard"! This she says to a 3 year old! I'm at my wits end, and I've told my husband if he doesn't gain control of the situation, I'd leave him. There was one occasion where she was pushing and hitting me when I tried to punish her and she bruised my arms all up!
I must tell you that she was apparently physically abused by her biological mother as a young child, and my husband uses this to excuse her actions. I understand it may have some bearing on her actions, but I feel he uses it as a "crutch" for her. Also, my mother in law and my sister in laws feel we should be more lenient, and not punish her for her actions. So my step daughter goes to them, cries for sympathy and lies about how "mistreated" she is at home. Then I or my husband catch hell for supposedly being "too strict", and I feel put in the middle because I'm being accused of mistreating the girl because of her lies. I feel it's a no win situation. I don't know what to do! How do you punsih a child who will verbally and physically attack you, and then play the innocent act?
