Hi everyone!
I don't know whether this is going to help anyone but I want to tell you that there's hope for you who can't deal with stress. But it takes time.
In 2000 I started working at a big company. It was very, very stressful and I worked a lot of over-time. We had lunch break for an hour a day but during two years I think I used that whole time for approximately ten times. All the other days I took my lunch with me to my desk (where a lot of visitors came and the phone rang all the time) or I sat down for 15-20 minutes in the lunch room. In Sweden where I live people do generally take their lunch because we realize that it's important. I knew that as well but I felt that I didn't have the time to be away for an whole hour.
The time went by and I felt worse and worse. I had big problems with my stomach and with migraine but I never staid at home. My temper was very bad. I couldn't control myself and I burst into tears several times at work. Sometimes I got furious (at home, not at work) and yelled for nothing. Afterwards I cried so much that I thought my body would break into pieces.
Everybody knew my situation at work. It got worse all the time and I got more and more job. But my boss didn't do anything and I didn't tell exactly how I felt because I didn't want to complain. The person who had done my work before me hadn't had any problems. I didn't realize then that much had happened since I began. After two years I "hit the wall" as we say here. I don't know what you call it. But I was on a long term sick-leave because of stress. I hope I'll never experience that again becuse it was terrible. It took me one year and eight months before I started working full time again. I know that for some people it takes much longer. I've been "well" for almost a year and a half now but I don't cope with stress very well yet. It has been much better, but there's a long way left.
When I get stressed I try to calm myself down and try to think that the stressful moment will pass. I have learned to listen to my body and I recognise the signs of stress. I know now that it doesn't help to be stressed. It will only slow me down. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Like I said, I have a long way left. But I'm sure that it will get better and better.
To learn how to cope with stress I went to a therapist and she was a lot of help. I wouldn't be where I am today without her. Good luck to everyone who needs it!
Maria
