Messages By: allure
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November 3, 2005, 1:38 pm PST
 I am underweight and skinny and i totally hate being this way. I am just not interested in food. Ihave to force myself to eat and it still doesn't work I find it hard to believe there are people who have to fight to resist overeating, i wish i had that problem, i have tried everything from protein supplements multi-vitamins and nothing helps. If I am very hungry (which is rare) I only need to just put 5 bites in my mouth and i am okay I can never finish a Macdonald combo that is too much food for me. Are there any people like me out there? is there anyone who can help us? My bmi is 17 but I am healthy I never get sick , never been in hospital except when I gave birth a year ago, I gained some weight during the pregnancy and I was very happy with myself I really looked good and i felt good about myself for the first time in my lif, but when i stopped breasfeeding at 6 months then the weight disappeared and i went back to 95llbs. i have a very healthy baby who is actually a little too big for her age, however i fear that I may make her obese in order to avoid her going through life skinny.
HELP Reluctant underweight |
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December 26, 2005, 2:56 am PST
Quote From: pookerella I can relate SO MUCH with this woman. She is ME.
I cannot believe myself! I am a strong person......really! If you met me you'd think I was confident, strong, determined, and stood by my convictions.....
But when I am challenged, I get scared and fold like a piece of paper. I let bullies walk all over me, I let fear take me over. I have no confidence in my convictions, I always think I'm wrong, no matter how much I know about something, I avoid arguing by running away ... literally.... I have an EXTREME FEAR of facing people and having confrontations (to the point of a panic attack during the ordeal....not a good thing!), and I cry so I seem even MORE ike a wimp!
For example, I have a co-worker, 20 years my junior who bullies me daily. I get afraid no one will back me up if I stand up to him, and then he reciprocates by doing passive/aggressive things to me and giving me a cold shoulder, more things I am afraid of. My next door neighbor repaved his sidewalk and was going 6" into our property line and I was too much of a chicken to face him.
I get so afraid that during a confrontation my mind goes blank. I let what others say overpower me during the fight, even sometimes to the point of allowing them to make me believe that I am the wrong one. Sometimes, I just am too tired emotionally to go through with it and just give up. I don't like fighting. But I never learned how to fight/argue with someone and not make it into a big thing, get emotional and fall apart. Who wants to fight with a crying person?! I cry from frustration, though, not to "manipulate," which is the what most people think. I get that lump in my throat and I just want to burst. Inevitably, I do.
And then there are the times that I DO stand up for myself, but I get so afraid that I overcompensate and sound mean. So no one really knows the real me. They see a wimp who sometimes is really mean. This has been a problem I have had all my life. I cry as I write this. I need help, but I don't know what to do. I have tried therapy in the past, but this particular problem, though mentioned, gets overlooked, which is a feeling I have during arguments, as well. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I was on Paxil for about 4 months due to depression, and that kind of knocks all emotionality out of you while you're on it. I was actually able to function in these situations better, but it also made me aggressive. Didn't cry at all during that time. I don't think that's the answer; I think that behavior modification would be better, but I don't know where to begin. I could go on and on but I don't want to bore you guys to death or take up any more time. Just some guidance on what to do would help. Thanks, Terry I call myself a recovering wimp, I used to let people walk all over me, but since I had my son almost two now I decided to be be more assertive I felt my son deserved a self-respecting mother not a wimp. As a child my mother never stood up for me, she would let people walk all over me even if I was bullied in front of her, usually by her own relatives, nor did she ever give me a prep talk about standing up for myself. My mother also raised me to put other people first and up to now its a constant battle with myself to put me first. As an adult I found myself being a doormat so that people would like me, but those people I let walk all over me never really did like me, I isolated myself for fear of rejection. I now have no problem asserting myself in impersonal situations like at restaurants, customer service at the store, but personal or work relationships are still a challenge, So to help myself this is what I have come up with, before I go into a social situation I tell myself:
If I give myself this little prep talk before any social situation I find that I have quick comebacks, I am very assertive and happy with myself even if it makes me unpopular. I am now more unpopular at work but at the same time I now have more friends (before I had none), and the respect of my bosses. I am a much happier person and I don't have to wait until I am back in my car to say to myself I should have said this or that, however I call myself recovering because if I forget to do this little prep talk I am back to being a wimp but at least I am working at it and I hope in future it will be second nature. |
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