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Messages By: lovestosew

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December 19, 2005, 9:09 am PST

married 30 years

Quote From: chelle5212

I have been married for three months and I do not want to have sex with my husband.  When my husband an I first starting seeing each other, I couldn't get enough!  We moved in together after a couple of months and things were still fine.  Suddenly, I wanted it less and less.  Although I love my husband very much, i had to talk myself into making love to him on our honeymoon.  Now I find myself praying that he will not want it or get used to not having it and be ok with that...I know that's not going to happen.  And I don't want it to.  I believe that intimacy is a big part of a successful relationship.  I want to want to make love to my husband and I find him very attractive.  i am worried about why I'm feeling this way and I am wondering if anyone else has been through this or if anyone has any advice.  i have endometriosis and I had to go through some therapy that put me into menopause for 4 months.  One of the side effects was a lack of sex drive but that was almost a year ago.  Does anyone know anything about this?  I appreciate any help someone could give me.  I want this marriage to work and I want a happy and loving relationship.  Please Help Me!!
Hi, I could' nt of said it better.I to have a low sex drive. I am always tired. I have gone to the Dr. She says that a lot of it has to do with stress and depression. She also said that I AM to take time out for me each day, and do something that I like.She mentioned exercise, which I am not a big fan of, or getting back into my hobbies.Some People dont understand the pressure of a stay at home mom which in my day ment every thing being perfect.House -Kids- car- lawn. The first few years- well at least 10 were hard.I felt stuck and was, but I loved being a mom.This is corney but I made sure to clean up before he got home-some times I think it was for me to make me feel good inside and I knew that looking like a wreck might or could be used against me !!LOL We worked on keeping our heads above water with job lay offs ect. I do know that when he got a over time check.... I was friskey!  hence money stress, we still joke about it. I used to think how can I have pleasure when there is so much that isnt right. I married my high school sweet heart, and saw in him what he didnt. Can you really talk to your hubbie? Men think a whole lot different than women. What is a big thing to us, they might not even think about. Not that they want to be mean.Some tend to  have a simple mind set, not like women, who lets face it can tear up  a man with a few chose words.I am by know means perfect,as at times I couldnt even look at him and he is a really good guy , it really is all about us and how we see ourselfs.I came from a very disfunctional family and did not want to pass on the lack of hugs and kisses. I am luck that my girls saw him kiss and pat my fanny. The joke now is well its almost christsmas and you might get some under the christmas tree!! Did this help?
 
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April 7, 2006, 10:25 am PDT

bar

Quote From: carlyyb

NO it is NOT the second persons responsibilty it IS the FIRST person's they should be courtious enough of the people behind them to place the bar in back of thier order! SHEESH!
Gosh, I never really thought about who puts the bar down, but where I live ...one is lucky IF they can find a bar, let alone have long enough arms to reach around a order and get it! . Does any one else have a bar shortage? I have a problem with those who pull there basket up to close to mine,.making it hard to unload. Ah life at the supermarket.
 
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October 15, 2006, 5:56 pm PDT

money

I THINK THAT THERE ARE A LOT MORE PROBLEMS THAN WITH JUST THE MONEY GOING ON DON'T YOU? . CONTROL ISSUES----THAT HAVE GONE A LITTLE TO FAR OVER THE EDGE.

 BACK IN THE DAY WHEN MY HUSBAND WAS LAST LAID OFF I TO WROTE DOWN WHAT WE SPENT. BUT WE DID IT TOGETHER. I STILL KEEP TRACK = OR MINUS A FEW FOR ME TO SEE WHERE THE MONEY GOES(LIKE EXTRA'S AKA THE DENTIST, THE CAR, THE HOUSE.)

BUT I DO IT FOR ME.I DONT THINK I WOULD LIKE TO BE TOLD THAT I HAD TO, AS I ALSO BRING HOME A PAYCHECK,NOT AS MUCH AS HIS THO.

 
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October 15, 2006, 6:22 pm PDT

Spending

Could some of the over spending be a sign of bi-polar? 

There is a new show that a man comes out and puts people on a budget and helps people set goals, could it be a lack of knowledge ?? or is it  just one being a  spoiled brat? Some times we create a dependent situation and them get up set when we want to stop.

 
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February 24, 2007, 9:45 am PST

02/27 "What Would You Do?"

 Honesty and morels are things that are taught to you or you have learned by someone through example. At times it might not be the easyiest thing, but the RIGHT thing to do. We as parents must lead by example. I  like so many others have had a chance to be tempted and after all at the end of the day  we have to live with ourselfs. I have never one regreted doing the right thing !
 
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May 3, 2007, 3:35 pm PDT

cooking

I have not seen the show, but I hope that Dr.phil can involve  the whole group ( family) in making  the right kind of meals, portion control ect. Correct me if I am wrong but isnt over eating a sign of something else and the eating numbs the thoughts and feelings, so what is really going on or what really happened ?

I hope that Dr.Phils show will address  us with some information on little things that  we ALL can do  lead to better  and healther life and that it is not just a show where the over weight people get put on tv and  offered help. Please give us more info on how to avoid this with warning signs  and what we can do to  help  the right way. With good information we can make better  informed decisions.. P.S. let us not judge others. 

 
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May 21, 2008, 5:50 pm PDT

brat camp

Maybe I missed it and it might of been discussed , but is it possible that the Little boy might need counseling to grieve for the loss of his sister? Her precious face was everywhere and he seem stick on saying that she wasn't listening to him. He might think that he is competing with  a memory ? My older daughter had real issues (with her little sister,  who was 6 years younger) the older one wanted to be the only  child ,   wanted to run the house,-words from the counselor.  thank goodness  I had a husband to help out with the control issues. Where is the boys  father or grandfather?  At my house the turning point came when I grabbed her shirt and  looked into her eyes and told her that she may be bigger that me, but I was her mom  and I loved her but I could be a lot more meaner than her!. The good news is that  our children  growup and we grow up along with them. I admire a strong spirit, it just need to be focused... and used for good! lol
 

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