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Messages By: xx_no_y

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November 8, 2005, 1:15 pm CST

It CAN work

Quote From: smjm7288

I am currently using match.com and now I am wondering WHY? I have been on a couple of dates, the one guy I thought we hit it off had alot in common and  then get an e-mail stating we don't have any chemisrty (at least he was honest). Give me a break after one date and he can already tell. I have sent pics of myself to some of these guys and then you don't hear back from them. I am not a tall blonda with big boobs, but I am an attractive woman. So as far as I am concerned this is not the place to try to meet a mate.    

  

I also don't want to sit in the bar trying to meet someone. I am 41, any ideas on how to meet a decent man???   

 Don't give up on e-dating just yet.  I met my husband on-line, and it is the most loving,  mutually respectful relationship.  It CAN work and it has worked for many couples.  But, just like 'real life' dating, you have to use some common sense.  I met a few toads along the way as well, but when I finally met my future husband it was different.  You have to be honest, and at the same time, don't be gullible enough to think that everyone else is being honest with you.  If there are red flags going  up, don't ignore them.  Now, grant it, maybe I was lucky,,,maybe it was 'destiny', as some of my friends have said, but I don't believe that.  I think you have to work at e-dating just as much, if not more than in 'real life' dating.  By the time my husband and I had our first meeting we were so comfortable with each other that it just seemed natural.  And we did spend a lot of time 'real life' dating after that initial meeting before we decided that we would spend the rest of our lives together.  It's a slow process, getting to REALLY know someone, and I think way too many people try to rush it.   We worked very hard at getting to know not only each other, but each other's families.  His mother and I are very close, and I thank her every day for raising such an awesome son.  He has so much respect for women and  makes me feel like I am the most special woman in the world.  We have never even had our first fight yet and we have been married for 4 years.  (That's a whole other story,,,,we keep trying to plan our first fight because we hear the 'making up' is so much fun, but we always get laughing so hard when we try that we haven't been able to actually have one yet...lol)
There ARE men out there who are wonderful, funny, loving, respectful guys,,,,you just need to keep looking.   And you have to a good steward of that love.  As Dr. Phil says 'You teach people how to treat you', so teach them that you are worthy of a loving relationship, and you will attract the right guy eventually. 
Good luck and I hope it all works out for you whatever you decide to do.
 

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