Messages By: springlife

Quote From: szmclennan

First I must say how much I appreciate the sharing of Alex's story and Distressed parents.  I sat in awe. Reason being... I actually have an Alex  age 14 and watching today was like watching him, with some differences.  We have been told our Alex has Touretts and ADHD.  He has violent out burst so much like Alex  on the show.  The school has him in a behavioral Special Day  Class and they are at their wits end almost.  My question is can a child have, Touretts,  ADHD and Asperger Syndrome.  We also  have another son age 15.  He has ADHA also,  but we have come to think maybe he has aspgerger over the last year.  It never dawned on us our Alex could.  Does personality affect the way these are manifested?  We are attempting to start again to find out what is going on in both our boys minds.  Both have been arrested and are awaiting court dates.  We live in Southern California and are desparate to find REAL!! help.  We are hopeful there is some way to get the help we need, before it is too late.  So many teachers, school professionals and doctors have been in the picture, yet no one has been able to answer and resolve the questions we have.   We are worried about much of the things Karen and her husband worry about.... oh and pray a lot about.  When I see a police car near home ... I say a little prayer please don't let my boys be involved!  Is there any help in my area for families on an extremely low budget.  We have healthy families BC insurance.  szmclennan@aol.com 

Quote From: melodyl

To; mygirl41: 

  

I agree 100% with you. A lot of parents are in denial. They say their children are angels and gifts from god. Sorry, i don't feel that way, and I am entitled to my opinion. I went though hell. I did not get a diagnosis until my son moved out at age 20, moved 3000 miles away, became a compulsive gambler, then told everybody who would listen that he was suicidal and he knew somebody would rescue  him and give him a room and bed for the night. he did this in 23 cities until he got tired. 

Of course he was misdiagnosed.  They said bi-polar, then not bipolar, they said OCD, yes, he has this. The best was something called ANIME disorder (look that one up why don't ya)  As a child he was put in special ed, put on ritalin, taken off of ritalin. We went crazy. he was kicked out of every after school program. We were told he had oppositional defiant disorder. he was in therapy, we were in therapy. Completely ruined my health. Only after he moved away and finally one of his psychiatrists (he was a specialist in AS), said to him "I know exactly what is wrong with you, you have Aspergers disorder). I learned to become an expert in this disorder. 

My husband recently had a angioplasty, and  stent. he was hospitalized. My son knew all about it. He never called to see how he was. I phoned him and asked, "how come you were not thoughtful enough to call your dad and see how he was doing after his surgery?" This was his reply: "mom, I don't think about you or dad very much. You are not my priority. It's not that I don't love you, but because I don't see you every day, you are not first in my mind". It's just the way it is". 

Oh, really???  This guy was my little buddy growing up, even with all the horrible meltdowns. He was my only child. My husband drove the group of kids to school (even though my son was thrown out of every single school). He stopped the meltdowns in 3rd grade and was mainstreamed in the 4th grade. Never had to go back to special ed. he told me he knew how to act and how to control himself. And he did. He graduated high school, went to college in NYC on a full scholarship, and was brilliant. We thought he would have a future in web design. He was very good at it. Instead, he got on a plane, went to Arizona and told us he would be permanently moving there. he came home, spent christmas with us 4 years ago, and on January 2, moved away, 3000 miles away. He has never worked, and never will work. According to him, why should he. We never sent him a dime. We did not enable. He told me "all I have to do is go on SSI, and I'll be set. "   And he did it. I don't give a crap about the AS diagnosis. My son uses this to get everything he has. he has an apartment, a new tv, a new vcr, and dvd player and a brand new computer with a dsl line. I don't even have a dsl line. And he has the gall to tell me that "we are not his priority". 

Give me a break. Some of these children are less impaired, some are more impaired, some are violent and some are not. But all I know is what I went through and I WOULD NEVER GO THROUGH IT AGAIN.   

Absolutely ruined my marriage and my health. My husband and I are just now getting close because we always thought he would grow up, find a job and find an interest in being close to his family.  Well, it didn't happen and it won't. 

I love to read the posts about how these parents describe their children as "little anges", etc. etc. 

Who are they kidding?  They have no clue what is in store for them. 

You can reply to this post and give me hell but believe me, I know from what I speak. 

...liz 

Quote From: mustbecrazy

 I wholeheartedly agree with gettting a COMPLETE and THOROUGH picture of why the behaviors are happening.  There are many disorders that cause melt-downs, and doctors are too focused on the symptoms and giving out pills to quell them.

My older two boys were on ADHD meds with bad side effects for a number of  years.  After sleep studies, it turns out that the 17 year old has  Narcolepsy...his grades in school have improved immensely since starting him on Provigil for the Narcolepsy and taking him off of Adderall.  Our middle son (and the younger one too) have Restless Leg Syndrome, which was waking them up over 250 times a night because of excessive leg and body movement.  No wonder they were crabby and inattentive.  They are now on Requip for the restless legs.  Both of the younger boys also have a vision disorder that interferes with reading and writing...it causes ADHD type symptoms and a refusal to do schoolwork.  They are both getting vision therapy for this.  I am angry with the psychiatrist for just treating the symptoms without testing to find the CAUSE of the symptoms.  Adderall made my middle son uncontrollably angry.  Our middle son is on watch for Bipolar disorder too...something that is made worse by ADHD meds!  I have Bipolar, and it is hereditary.  Too often, parents get the blame for the bad behavior of their kids.  Discipline and structure are important factors, but persistent behaviors should definately be investigated thouroghly before making assumptions.  Well, I know I have repeated myself from a past posting, but I feel it is so important that thourough testing be done.

I'm glad your daughter is doing better.  You are a great mom, and dedicated to having the best life a child could have.  I'll keep your family in my prayers.   Becky