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November 7, 2005, 10:21 pm PST
you're not alone
Quote From: killdoze1Well, I've haven't done much of this message board stuff in the past and I'm not quite sure on how to get started, so I'll just throw my question out there. I am currently in a serious, monogomous relationship with someone who couldn't be better for me (let's call him Lou). He has all the qualities I want in a guy (funny, caring, sensitive successful, handsome, just to name a few) and doesn't have any that I don't (he doesn't smoke or drink, isn't religious, feels the same way about children, etc.). I started dating Lou as my first serious relationship was disintigrating; at the time, I thought he would be the "rebound" guy, but I found that we have so much in common, I feel so happy when I think about us being together, and I very much look forward to spending time with him.
My question is this...sometimes I wonder whether or not what I feel is "true love." I've heard some people say that if it's right, you just know it; others say that's a load of bull and that no relationship is like the fairy tales. However, I worry sometimes that because I have to wonder about how I feel, that it's not the right thing after all. On the other hand, the idea of not being with Lou makes me very sad and lonely. We have been touching upon the subject of engagement rings and I worry that we may be jumping into things too fast (our 1 year anniversary is in mid-October). I also worry that if we do get engaged, I would feel like we HAD to stay together. Do you see my dilemma? All this back and forth is driving me crazy!
What I am most wondering is whether or not anyone else has felt/feels this way. If so, how did the relationship turn out? Was/is it successful? I suppose I'm looking for encouragement, but what I really want are people's honest and open opinions and comments about past and/or present relationships. Any advice you could offer is greatly appreciated. I think that going over things in my head is partly contributing to my severe anxiousness and that a different outlook on things will be a huge help. Thanks very much to anyone who replies!! After posting my own concerns about this issue, I came across your post, and I have to say, you are not alone. When reading what you had to say, it actually made me cry because it was my feelings exactly, and I was relieved to find that I wasn't the only one experiencing this. When you said, "I worry sometimes that because I have to wonder about how I feel, that it's not the right thing after all," I can completely relate, because I love my boyfriend and feel I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but have also had the scary "what if "thought come into my head. I too am experiencing anxiousness from constantly running the thought through my head. The scary thing is that all we really have to compare our feelings to is past relationships (which ended for one reason or another). I just want you to know you are not alone, and if you have received any more advice or opinions about this, I would greatly appreciate you posting what you have found.
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