Messages By: bsabear

I have a 23 year old son , 19 year old son, and 80 year old mother-inilaw living with me and my wife. I can relate to the first family on the show. Our oldest son feels like we owe him a place to live and shows no intention of leaving. I gave him a June 1st date last month to move out.   

Our youngest saw him get away with this and now feels he should get the same treatment. He does try to pay once in awhile, but nothing consistant.  

My mother-in-law has lived with us since my father-in-law passed away in 1998. She does help out and means well. She has gotten to the point that she goes to the bathroom and misses the toilet, can't leave matches laying around cause when she lights candles she throws the match where she is, and does not wash herself (hands or bath) that I have seen. She has two other children that won't help give us a break and one of them has not been around in years.  They both live less than 30 miles away. We have had 2 weeks away from her in the last 7 or 8 years. Our boys have watched her a couple of times but they would leave her alone while we were gone so we ended up worring about her setting fire to the house or having trouble.  We are afraid to put her in a nursing home because she won't associate with people, and we are afraid we will spend every night at the home so she won't get lonely. It's easier and cheaper to keep her with us. 

My wife listens and gets frustrated when the boy's are complaining about her, and the problems she has. I mention things but try not to complain about her mother. The boys are a different subject. I do complain about them. 

I don't like the position I am in, nor do I like putting my wife in the middle with her mom.  I thought when I hit 50 it would just be the two of us and now it isn't. I also thought we would have more money than we could waste, but we can't seem to have any extra money because of the boy's. We use to be able to go and do things and see places but the last couple of years it has not been their to do anything. We both love riding and the last two summers we didn't get to go at all.  We use to get to do about 8 or 9 toy rides each year and the last two years we have only done 4 combined. I feel guilty for thinking this way at times but I worked for 25 years with the same company in order to enjoy my "later" years and they don't seem to be as much fun as I hoped. 

I guess I am just venting and will quit now.