Message Boards
Messages By: luckystarb
|
November 10, 2005, 3:32 pm PST
 Quote From: college123 I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years and we are currently both in college. We attend seperate schools which are 7 hours apart. Therefore we dont see eachother all that much. When we are home and physically togehter thigns are wonderful. But when we are away at school he lies, cheats, and decieves me. It has gotten to the point where I just am tired of questioning him and alwasy feeling like hes up to somehting. Last year was his first year away and since we are so young (21) and neither of us is ready to be 100% seroius it was left that the relationship would be open but we werent supposed to get consistent with anyone else and if we did we were supposed to break it off with one another. Needless to say he started seeing someone behind my back for over 5 months. I found out about her from her and then he admitted everything. He then ended things wiht her in hopes that we would work things out. He has made it clear to her that she is more for convienience and I am the one he is in love with but she is so insecure she will take whatever she can get wtih him. This happened 2 or 3 times. We always get back together and then its stressful becuase there is no trust and then I find out he is lying again. This time he says really he is changed and he would never wawnt to hurt me again. He makes me feel like I am the center of his world. He alwasy tells me how much he loves me and we plan a future together. But I dont want a future with a liar and Im so young I dont want to waste time. I just dont knwo if this is something that he will grow out of because he is immature or if this is one of those cases where I sound like an abused vicitim making excuses. College123, you are experienceing what so many college students experience. You and your boyfriend are both young, and meeting alot of new people while trying to maintain a long distance relationship. When you throw cheating in the mix, it might look like there is no hope. Your bf might actually love you and want to stay with you. However, this is unfair to you if he continues seeing other girls. Maybe he will grow out of it. Ultimately the decision is yours. Tell him what you need in order to be happy in your relationship. If you want him to be exclusive, ask him if he can be exclusive. If he says yes and you think he is sincere, move forward with him. Look at the possibility of counseling to sort through your hurt and anger. If you don't believe he can be exclusive, maybe you could change your relationship. Either break it off or become less exclusive, depending on what you feel is right. Just so you know my boyfriend and I are working through infidelity in our relationship. It is possible, but its not easy. If you want to talk to me about my experiences or tell me more about yours, just email me. Good Luck! |
|
