Messages By: iloveshars

Quote From: stillness

My life is very similar to yours the abuse , the flash back, being  a former pot head ( only former because of supply , Ican't get my hand on it any more ) But I still crave that freeing ,relaxed frelling. I still have trust issues when it comes to my husband being with my daughter, I trust him but at times when I am having all thoughs horrible feeling of the past come back I am really hard on my husband. I have never sought help from a thearapist but everyone in my family wishes I would.  I just can't bring myself  to. I am scared to and i can't really explain why.Everthing you have said mirrors my life almost to a tee,except my mother was not around  except for one incident as far as I know. I don't know where she was when I was sexually abused but for his beatings with his belt I remember he sent her away to stores or the gas station.She was never home in the mornings and he gave us our bathes. She only washed my hair in the sink fully dresses. But she does believe me even though she won't talk  about it. So I am a surviver too but not healed like you. Hang in there.

Quote From: peterspumpkin

Maybe I'm so hard on Sherrie because I didn't suppress my memories so I can't understand what she's going through. I do understand that it does happen, I just don't honestly believe it happened in this case. I believe she knew and she was in denial just like her mother and she put her precious child in the hands of this molester. THAT MAKES ME SICK! I look at my precious children and I don't know that I could even survive if something happened to them, much less if it was my own damn fault!

 

Little side note....4 days ago, I found out they were trying to put a rehab for sex offenders right up the street from my home. The law states it had to be 300 feet from a school, this one is 310 feet from the elementary school my children used to attend. My neice and nephew go there and my other neice, who has already been let down by her mother and the system by them allowing her to be molested, will be going there next year. The next day, I was at City Hall. My community joined together and fought it. The lady who was running it tried to convince us that it's ok because 25 out of 30 are rehabilitated and do not offend again in her program. UMMMMMMMM what about the other 5? And what about the ones that do it but don't get caught because she's so sure she cured them? Anyway, it's not a chance I'm willing to take. She says has now put the building up for sale but if this place opens, I will drop everything and move out of the area that day! If I keep my children here knowing there are pedophiles running around, I'm just as bad as they are! All I'm saying is you cannot whine about something happening to your children and expect people to feel bad for you if you did not put any effort into protecting them from it. I cannot control everything but if something happens to one of my babies, I did EVERYTHING in my power to prevent it.

 

 

Quote From: sllynn

 

I am amazed at how many comments have been made so far on a show that has yet to air.  How quickly people are to judge......to assume that I never sought out help for my son before this point......to go so far as to call me a monster.

 

The truth of the matter is that I had no recollection of my own abuse until 6 years ago.....at which time I did cut the ties with my father.......unfortunately the damage had already been done.

 

As far as reaching out for help.......I exhausted every resource I could find in my area.  My son has been seeing counsellors, therapists, and psychiatrists since he was in grade one.  We tried group therapy and even had numerous appointments with the principle of the school he was attending at the time.

 

Turning to the Dr Phil show was simply one more effort on my part to seek out more help.......help that I had been seeking for the past 6 years. 

 

It is sad that the level of understanding is as such.......there are so many agencies out there that help people with addiction, anger management, domestic abuse and so forth.......however when it comes to sexual abuse I have found it more difficult to find the help required......especially for a child.  If you look into some of the amazing programs for children like I have, one of the things that they make very clear is that they will help your child so long as he or she hasn't acted out in unacceptable sexual ways......

 

I recently had an invitation to enroll my son in such a program but after sending in the application, I was told they don't accept a child who has a sexual history such as my sons.

 

Along with seeking out help, I also have been to the police.  I have filled out a written statement as well as a video interview........no action has been taken on the part of the authorities.  I continue to feel like I keep hitting a brick wall.....however, that has not stopped my quest for help, healing and justice.

 

When the shows are aired this week, I hope that people will be able to come away more educated and with more understanding rather than accusations, anger, and finger pointing.

 

Not one of us can really know exactly what we would do if we were in someone else's shoes until we actually walk in them.