Messages By: kimbies

I watched this show and I it only reminded me of just how selfish cheaters are! If she wanted out she should have just asked. If you ever live through a partner being unfaithful you will never do that to someone you love because you will remember how bad it hurts! I think her husband needs to hit the door and find somebody that is worthy of his love and let her have  the little boy she is cheating with......and if she is not going to do what is best for her kids (a little boy is not what is best!) then maybe they would be better  off with their Dad, that would set her free to do what she wants and that is all she cares about anyway!!!!!!!!! 

I am trying to rebuild the life of myself and my five children after finding out that my husband cheated. I blamed myself at first, I must hyave done something wrong to make him stray. THen I realized that in the past 19 years I had done everything for him! I was a good wife and mother, everything he wanted me to do, Idid. I was very devoted and it was not my fault! After the birth of my 6 year old son I became very ill....I needed his help I was so sick that I couldn't drive myself to the doctors office, he was no where to be found, my sister in law drove me instead, I was admitted with toxic shock from my c-section....where was he? with his lover! Our son was hospitialized with spinal meningitis and was very sick, where was he? with his lover! He was unfaithful when we dated and I was stupid enough to believe he would change---they seldom do! He promised if I would forgive hima nd give him a secound chance, he would marry me to prove it, that he would never hurt me again! I should really be mad at myself because I let him do it to me! 

Now he has left me and my children homeless and doesn't pay support and so far is getting away with it! His father has called me every name in the book and says that all men cheat and I should just shut up, take it and do whatever he tells me to or he will make sure trhat I will never see support for my kids.  

My children are so hurt and can't believe that their father is putting us through this, how do you explian this to kids that are 14,11 9,6,and 3? 

How do you start over when your husband of 19 years hurts you like this? I am empty inside and struggle just to get through the day! The bad part about it is I can't even afford to get my children and I the help we need to get over this! 

I only wish she could feel what I feel for a moment and then she will no what a low life she is! 

Thank you for the words of hope! I have been trying everything I know to do and have run out of options ( and hope!)  We lived in a small town and everyone knew them and was afraid to try to help us. His family threatened to take my kids and run so that I would never see them again and they have enough money to do that. I had to take my children and leave, we are staying with my parents all six of us in one room! My parents are trying their best to help and it is hard on them to see us hurting. This should be my parents "happy years" and instead the are to busy trying to keep my kids and I safe. I can't sllep at night, I cry all the time. How do you tell your children that you can't afford to give them the things they need. Having my kids was hard on me physially and I have struggled ever since my last was born ( she just turned 3 and the only little girl in the bunch) I ended up in ICU , i have had a lot of problems since then, I have no kind of marketable skills, I was a stay at home mother, I helped out in his real estate office but was self taught on what I know about computers and office work, other than that I was PTA president, gradeparent, Sunday School teacher to 4 & 5 year olds and there are not many jobs out there for someone like me! I am 39 and the few jobs that are out there would not pay enough to even cover day care for 5 kids and with all the young people with college degrees that are searching for jobs I don't have a chance. I can't afford to go back to school...... I can't buy my kidsshoes are clothes and we are stretching our food money as far as it will go! Thewre are no extras for anything else. I applied for help but was turned down. I have tried to seek help but his father and him managed to hide everything so on paper it looks like their company went under but they are running everything in their new partners name and are living the high life!  

I have felt so hopeless! I don't try to sit around and have a pity party, I try to stay involved with my kids and make every day better for them but when you feel like every time you turn around that you are getting kicked in the stomach after a while you just want it all to end. 

The only good part out of all of this is my 5 beautiful kids! I don't  think I could face the day if it wasn't for them! I guess that is why it also hurts so bad because I know they deserve so much more! This morning my 9 year went to school with torn shoes, I know the other kids have been picking on him because of them and instead of being mad, he was telling me that it would be ok! He said he knew I would get him as soon as we had the money, kids should never have to be that understanding! Yet my "husband" is eating out every meal wearing name brand clothes, nice shoes, new car ( we are driving and old used van that has bad brakes!)  

One day I just pray it will be better for my kids! 

I really used to believe in prayer but now I can't seem to help but be mad and hurt! 

 It seems I am thanking you again! 

I welcome any advice,help and prayers! 

I will be checking into it first thing Monday morning, and maybe, just maybe, I will find that hint of hope we are looking for!  

I know it will get better with time but it is all still new and fresh in my heart!  I think what I have to do now is find a way to forgive myself and learn to like me again then maybe I will feel like I am worthy of something good and positive. It's just hard when you feel all alone, and like there is a mountian blocking your view of the futur.......... 

You must be an extraordinary  person to go out of your way to help someone you don't know . 

May God bless you! 

 I am a mother of five children and in Aug. of 2004 my "husband" had a mental breakdown and was diagnosed bipolar with dillutional disorder. He had a life that I knew nothing about, he had a long lasting affair with two children with the lady, loans and credit cards like crazy and even signed my name to things I knew nithing about. I am still amazed that he was able to turn it on and off like a light switch! I didn't see any signs or warning signals! 

Our life has been ruined! I  stood by him for 17 months of him being in and out of the hospital. He refuses to stay on his medicine and as a result has "two voices" that are two freinds from his past that gave him signs to follow, if he fails then he says they will kill him. When I saw what it was doing to my kids, my 3 year old daughter was crying uncontrolable because she thought someone was going to kill her Dad, along with the fact that his family was becoming emotionally abusive to myself and my kids ( go figure, all of this was my fault and boy did they call me all sorts of names and tried to take my kids from me and cuased me so much extra stress that friends were afraid that I was about to have a breakdown myself! ), adding the fact that he had us so far in trouble that we became homeless, I left town with my children and we are now staying with family! 

Now, I am every bad name in the book and my kids and I are struggeking to get by, I haven't seen a sign of support or help yet his father bought him a home, pays all his bills and gives him money for everything he wants yet my kids are eating penutbutter, wearing old torn clothes and shoes and have lost everything they new in life!   

I am trying to find a job but at 39 and no skills ( I was a stay at home mom ) I can not finding anything and the few jobs that I  were available  don't even pay enough to cover child care........ 

We have searched for help and one thing we have learned for sure is that the mental health profession is seriously lacking! Getting him help is next to impossible! When he is in the hospital it is only for a few days and they don't really help and they dismiss me like I am stupid! We lost our insurance and the shots he was on was 600.00 every two weeks! at this current moment he has been off his medicine for 8 weeks and is spiraling out of control very fast!!! I am afraid of him and his family! He wants to see the kids but is not very stable! The school is even been told because his family has said they will help him kidnap the kids and go into hiding so I will never see them again! 

I live in constant  fear and a state of depression! I use to worry about putting my kids through college and now I worry about just having food to eat and finding someplace to live!!! 

I am out of options and hope! I pray that this show will give me some ideas as to where to go for help. 

You say he turned it off for four months, mine was able to do so for 15 years!  It is hard enough to dealwith but add being unfaithful on top off it and it can tear out your heart! I don't know if your husband is like mine, but please check your credit reports, your checking and savings accounts, and anything else that pertians to money! He even borried against our life insurance policies! 

I plead with everyone in this position to take steps to protect yourself! My family is ruined,our life is ruined! I don't know if I will ever be to correct all the damage he has done! 

If there are support groups or organizations that people can turn to for help, please speak up.... there are so many of us looking for help! 

I wish you the best of luck! I hope you find the answers we all need! 

      I was with my husband for 20 years, he was  a cheater from the start and I thought that by getting married and having kids he would change,  and it appeared that he had.....................

Although I thought my husband was being faithful to me he became physically and emotionally abusive. I stayed in my marriage because I thought I owed to my kids.

One day I found out that he had been having a affair and it destroyed me. I tried to forgive him and put it behind me but he became even more abusive after the fact and refused to get any help for our family. Our life got so bad that I got to the point that I did not care if I even lived and could barely get myself out of bed.

One night he came home very late and was upset and began to take his anger out on me, I looked up and saw my kids watching with tears in their eyes with my 10 year old holding a BB pistol at his dad while my 14 year old called the police, that was the end!

I realized that I was not the victim, my 5 beautiful kids were and I could not let them suffer any more.

That was two years ago, I am now divorced and we are moving on with our lives. It has been a very hard road and my ex has made it as hard as possible, such as harassing us not paying support etc............

but we are so ,much better off and I have NO REGRETS!!!!!!!

AFFAIRS RUIN LIVES...........................NO IF ANDS OR BUTS!!!!!!!!!!

AND THERE IS NO JUSTIFIED REASON FOR HAVING ONE, EVER.

The Lord has blessed my kids and I and I will be getting married soon to a man I met because of my kids that loves all of us in a way we were never loved before. I know that he will never hurt any of us and he has shown me what real love is all about.

You can heal and move forward, it's not easy but holding on to the hate and anger only huts you!