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I'd like to say that some incest survivors have an incredible sense of empathy and compassion. not all victims go on to offend others.  

As for emotional maturity I believe this is referring to a victim gets emotionally stunted at the devolpmental level when their abuse occured. I can't explain it very well but I know what it means.  

Its like being around your mother again. All of a sudden you turn back into the role your family assigned you. Its like being a child again. Incest survivors are like that emotionally. 

I agree with you!  Im a survivor and feel as you do.  I wont stay in a victim role allowing the abusers(I include the eye closers and ear pluggers in this group) to win.   

I remember one incedent from when I was in diapers.  Different from you, I never supressed the memory.  I didnt understand it, but it was always in the back of my mind lingering there.   Sometimes I have heard people say you couldnt possibly remember something from so long ago.  WRONG!  I DO remember, I have ALWAYS remembered, I just didnt know what to make of it!   

I think writing letters is an excellent idea!  Even if your abusers are in their graves, its still allows you to speak your feelings.  Since most times when people come forward and face their abusers they get denials and justfications anyways, we always should remember that confrontations, letter writings, etc. are only for US and OUR healing.  The odds that you would have gotten anything postive from them are pretty low.  But that doesent matter, imo!  As long as we can speak of the effects of the abuse, what they did to us, that is what counts.