Messages By: smoochy00

     I watched todays show!  The 2nd family look like they will make it and will be happy! 

The first family ..has problems.  I'm taking a guess here.. hear me out! 

the husband treated his daughter like a wife for 2years.  there needs to be some space.  I could see this daughter having a sexual relationship with her dad.  I'm not saying anything like that would happen or the dad being a perve but, the daughter and the dad have taken the daughter's role so far that its natural to think about the next step.  I also think that this dad likes  having to women fight over him.  How he sat there and smirked and says I spoil the daughter. i feel as if he doesn't want to change it.  Also, I think its going to be hard to change the daughter.  If the daughter does get less attention with dad ..she might act out 2 try and get that attention back.   

this is a messy problem.  I hope they have an update show on the first couple.   

   I know the dad probably wanted to have another person around to tallk to and act like a wife.  I can see that...Did anyone see the oprah show on the same day?  the girls mom had cancer and made her 100 tapes.  In there she said to her daughter that she wanted her dad to remarry. 

The dad did find someone else and  asked talked to the daughter about the woman.  The daughter said that she needed more time to get to know the new g-f.   And she did.  I think she said about 6mo later she told her dad she was ready to invite the lady into there life. 

I think also...the girl had sleep-overs to get to know the future wife.  And just hang-out.    

that seems so great 

I hope dr phil can help you.  Cuz in your messages you are still defending yourself and blaming others. 

your daughter will not change quickly and maybe only 10% because she was acting like your wife for 2 yrs.  The flag went up for me when I heard " i could make my dad his favorite food..he would have to teach me..but, then we wouldnt need her."  that is not exact but, it was something like that .  you can love your kids but, dont LOVE your kids.   

Most people dont have that talk untill they are in a very deep relationship. Which your daughter is acting like she is at that step with you. question-->DID you let you daughter and wife have one on one time together.  sleep-overs,shopping, talking?  I also think you were being selfish.  Your daughter wants her mother back..that tells me you never cared if your daughter was ready for another person to come into your household. You just needed a female person around and when you got that your daughter went on the back-burner..but, she will push until you cave and put her in front.  

I hope you see what has happend and I'm glad your trying to get help.   

thanks.. I am to.   

Here is the thing.  I feel yes.. dad is wrong. 

I do think the mom does the samething to the kids.  Yes, she is not innocent.  When he said about pulling the daughters hair.  I believe him.  I could tell that she to me looked "caught".  I think blaming the dad 100% is wrong. And can't believe that dr. phil bullied the DAD ( but plus, I do know there is editing .. so, there could have been more but, we dont know)

I think they are BOTH at fault.  I also feel that the mom picks abusive men.  So, she needs help in that. Because its a pattern with her. 

Furthermore, the mom should be punishing the kids.  The step-parent should slowely step-up .. not all at once "this is your new dad (or mom) and you have to listen to them"  When you have kids this old .... it doesn't work and there is hositlity  from the kids to the parents.

In closing, I think the step kids need to have therapy. Because, the boy said I'm going to kill you.  Which that tells me there is a lot more behind that then just bulling.  He probably has anger issues with mom and dad and maybe the new kids and just in general.

This whole family needs help.. but, I do feel that dr. phil didnt get on the mom enough.  I wish he would have got on the swearing. And how the mom deals with the kids. Also, we got to remember what this guy doesn't know how to parent.. and is thinking this is how my generation was dealt with.. So, he is doing the same thing.

I pray the family can make it... or a good change be made!

yes.. I agree.. why did dr. phil keep on attacking this guy.

She is staying cuz of a roof over their head.  again.. she  goes for abusive times... and it seems that she is an abuser also. 

I agree with dr. phil that the first couple need no contact for 90 days.. ( like in house rehab).  I also feel that this girl is going against her parents to spite them.  I think this happends to a lot of people.  they do drugs together .. and its like their way of connecting. Which I think dr. phil saw.

The girl has issueswith her parents.  I didn't like the laughing and not taking 60 days sober as a good thing. Sober is hard and  maybe its 60 days but, its better thans nothing.

The second couple.  the family might not Agree with this wedding. But, let him seen how it is and from there ... let him fall in learn.  best thing. 

I didn't like this woman.. I have a feeling she will be on maury.. and the show called "I slept with 4 of your brothers and you might not be the father"

her flirting with brothers in the family.. creep-e.

what a show

grace has a great mom and dad.

here is the thing.. that grandma is from another generation where "this is not talked about".  I understand that and she seemed to know the role as I promised this has happend before. the abuser is usually a victim at one point in their life.  So, the grandfather was messed with.. then he does it to someone.. ( which it was poor grace)  and then keeps on going. Its a cycle.

The grandmother .. I felt has "played this role before"  If she wants to see grace.. then just have a girls day. grace, mom, and grandma.   women bonding.. and no pleading in it from grandma about how " grandpa" is "healed".

if you love grace.. you will do anything for her ..

the oldest sister and the mom gang up on everyone.  they do have stong personalities but, one person is not the problem. colon cleaning does take recovery time and prep time.  Im  glad  tcarrie has her dad.  maybe she should only write that she wants her dad to split with mom in a journal or talk to a pro about it. And not getting the dad involved in it. 

This seems just like my moms family.  they dont talk , if they do its all the past, and just a mess.

I hope this family can get through this

they are all at fault.