I am ready to leave. It started with my three kids 7 years ago. They father told them they were not to hit when they got mad at each other, they could swear or yell but no hitting. It ended up with them screaming and calling me a F bitch, f off bitch when they got mad at me. The worst one was our now 14 yr old daughter. At 4 yrs she could swear at me like a drunken sailor and would throw things around in her room, and screaming like someone was killing her. Dear hubby would ask, what did you do to her now? I tried everything for years. Nothing would work. Yes, hubby knew they were swearing at me and did nothing and said nothing. They never swore at me in front of their dad. This has gone on for 7 years. Our 16 yr old and 12 year old stopped swearing at me all the time last year. The 14 yr old got worse. If I asked her to empty the dishwasher I got f you bitch not going to happen. No matter what I asked her to do, if she was in a bad mood I got it. If I asked her to clean the bathroom, she would tell me right in front of her dad, I told you not going to happen. No dad said nothing to her. Then in the fall if she would fly off the handle, which anything would make her fly. Her dad then started having these long talks with her, that I was not included in. He said he would get her side of the story then my side of the story. Wow! Things got worse then! To keep cool and not fight with her or hubby I would hum to myself. Turns out this made her madder. After their talks she got worse. She would look for ways to start fights with me. Little things, like you touched a book on my desk. No I didn't I was not in your room. She would say it 3 times them scream and call me a f liar and f bitch. She loved taking off outside when she would blow up in the dark. We have bears here and they are out more in the fall. One night I had to get her dad to come home from work at 12:00 midnight cause she wouldn't come in the house. She will do anything her dad tells her to do without fighting, talking back. These talks they were having I thought would help. But like I said things got worse. Finally I told her just before Christmas I know what is going on why don't you tell me. She told me that her dad agreed with everything she said to him. At one point which was no big deal hubby was in the room so he knows what was said. She got real mad at me and took off and was sitting in the field. He told me to stay in the van and he went and talked to her for about 5 mins. Came back and asked me one question and then yelled at me and called me a liar. Anyway, when she told her dad that she thinks I'll try and get revenge on her cause she is swearing so much, he agreed and said I think mom with try and get revenge on me too like spit in my food or something. He told her, when your mom and I fight she always thinks she is right ( yet hubby always get mad at me when we fight cause I give him the silent treament). I don't give the kids the silent treatment. He told her one time to say sorry to me, she said why should I mom will only give me the silent treatment. He said I know how you feel mom gives me the silent treatment all the time. The swearing has now finally stopped. But, she now has a different play. She nows will throw everything in my face that her dad agreed with her about when she gets mad at me. No hubby says nothing when I tell him. He says she misunderstood everything he said too her. Yes, he has told her she misunderstood everything he said to her. She tried to tell him no she didn't misunderstand what he said. Yes hubby and I fight all the time. Since we live in a very small town the only thing I could think of to reward the kids when they didn't swear at me was a movie every two weeks. It worked! Then a few weeks later hubby told the kids they could rent a movie every Tuesday because they are no more movies at the library. I told him, that is my reward to the kids when they don't swear at me. He told me I would have to think of something else. When the kids were younger and I would ask him to talk to them about their swearing at me or anything else. He would tell me no, I am not talking to them just because you want me too. After their talks it started that he would not say Thanks to me at all for anything. He would say to Sam, can you give me this please, Thanks. Can you get me this please, Thank you. He then said to me one time, now your mad cause I won't say Thanks to you when you give me my tea! I seen then he was playing games! So I stopped making his tea period. Sounds so stupid! She also enjoys it when she can get me and her father fighting. She is then sweet as pie to dad. When her dad and I are not fighting she talks nice to me, then when we are fighting she talks only to her dad. I am ready to walk, I just have no idea what to do anymore. Could use some ideas please. Thanks for letting me vent. http://www.cnichol.natureswellnesssecret.com
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