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Messages By: lolo4949
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November 27, 2005, 9:07 pm PST
 I have been an Admin Asst at the same company for almost 4 years. I have been stressed out because I bend over backwards and go out of my way to do whatever I can to keep my boss happy. I feel as though I am walking on eggshells and no matter what I do it is not enough. I am just now starting to get my resume out their to other companies. It's such a shame because I really like where I'm at and I get along very well with everyone else. I am tired of not feeling appreciated. Hang in there....it's nice to hear that there are other people out there going through a similar situation. |
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November 27, 2005, 10:00 pm PST
Quote From: lost_in_al Thanks for repling,
She says she want to work things out in our marriage and save it, but here lately her actions have proven other wise.
Its the little things that hurt the most. She'll an issue and turn it around like it was my fault or that I wanted that when in reality I didn't. A few weeks ago was her birthday, One thing that she has wanted for a while is a flip phone (cell phone), Our contract was up for renewal, so we went shopping online for new phones. Her best friend just got a new phone and she liked it and the features so she was interested in that one. We found it online, and they were running a buy one get one free deal. She asked me if I like the phone and I said yes, but I really didn't need a camera phone. But that was the one that she wanted, so we bought it. Then a few days after that (before the phones arrived) she turns the whole thing around and says "Are you happy. I got you the phone you wanted.", I told her no, Its the phone "you" wanted. She does this all of the time.
I give her the free will to do what she wants, But when it comes time for me to want something, she ends up making me feel guility or bad because I want to buy something. It really drive me crazy!
At this point I really don't know how to save my marriage, I honestly don't have anymore deep feeling, I still care for her and her well being, but I've lost the passion and love in my heart, I know that is an awlful thing to say, but its the truth. The problem I have right now, is if I'm going to stay in my marriage, how do I regain those feeling, is it possible? or is it just too late? I have tried in the past to get us into marriage counseling, but she either won't hear of it.
Alot of the times durning the day, shel'll make sexual advances at me, and even get me turned on, and say something like just wait for tonight... When tonight comes, nothing happen. If I try to return the sexual advance to her, then she'll say something like, the kids are in the house .. its like she can get me all turned on, but I can't do the same. Its game like this she plays all of the time.
She is a big flirt around men, but I can't even talk to or even look at another woman.. a few years back we went to a canso for my birthday, saw a concert and then gambled for a while, she found the slot machine that she like and then told me that she didn't want me around her while she was on this machine, so I wondered around the casino for a while and found a machine I like and started playing. I started to hitting on the machine and won some, and the gal next to me said great job. We just started talking while playing the slot machine, I wasn't flirting, just answering her question. Mind you my wife is talking to every guy around her. Anyway after a while, my wife finds me and she see me talking to this gal and has a cow. I left shortly after that.. and swore to myself that I will NEVER go out again. It ruined my birthday and everything because she just couldn't leave it alone. She kept bring it up, she acted like, I was going to run off with this gal.
To answer your question, I think to a degree, she does get a thrill out of doing something and then rejecting me or just teasing me.
I'm a very fair minded person, I don't want to get even or cause anyone any pain, all I want is peace, love and happiness.
What do you mean by stop playing the game? Do you mean just ignore her?
Thanks, Lost_In_AL
It means alot to see that other people go through things like this. I have been with my husband for seven years, been married for almost 3 years. I love him and I know that he loves me. All I have ever wanted is to get married, have a couple kids, settle down, and be happy with someone that I love. Our situations are alot different but the frustration of it all seems similar. We both work full-time, and deal with the day-to-day issues that married people have. I have to admit that I feel frustrated and at a loss alot of the time. We have no children yet and are not currently trying due to the fact that we are not ready. I feel that I work full-time, do all of the cooking, cleaning and take care of all of our bills. I feel that all he feels like he needs to do is go to work and that is it. I have never witnessed him change a light bulb, unclog a drain, etc....I don't even ask him if he will take the dog out anymore because all I ever got was a huge sigh because he was being inconvenienced. I'll spend the entire day on the weekend cleaning and doing laundry, and cannot get any help. He will not pick up after himself and if it weren't for me the place would look like a tornado went through here in just a couple of days. Because of all of this I have lost my desire to be intimate with him and I feel like I'm taken for granted. He has gotten angry with me because of his need sexually but I have lost that feeling because I'm irritated alot tof the time. I have talked to him several times and I get told that these habits will change, I really want tot have a child but I already feel like I have alot to deal with as it is...sometimes I feel like I just picked up where his mom left off. I love him but I don't know what to do.....thanks for listening.... |
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