Messages By: alteaon

 As most of us agree, what's going on here isn't right, with the deception, and using an unwitting child as a pawn in an emotionally confused or emotionally void relationship...I'm not disagreeing with this, but in the case of the man who tricked his wife into pregnancy, why didn't she use another birth control method besides condoms? The pill made her sick, but are there other methods that may not have had such side effects?

She may be ultra sensitive, may have other health issues, or other moral issues with certain methods of birth control. I guess my only question is what did she do on her end to prevent unplanned pregnancies, because obviously her dinglefritz husband was of no help. 

That he would attempt to have sex with her while she's sleeping really bothers me. He was "loving" her?  Wouldn't it be more loving if both people were active participants?  I really don't think he gets that what he's done is wrong, and because he fails to see that, he's stil doing it, in my opinion. Even with five children, anything is better than where she's at, if they were to divorce.  

Hello, 

I am from up north Wisconsin, in Rhinelander. I'm 27 yrs old, and having the hardest time with my weight that I can recall.   

I lost 60 lbs, but now I'm stuck. Most of it's emotional. I'm interested in an email buddy because it's someone who understands. I don't have any girlfriends who are in the same boat as  I am. 

I was/am/kind of doing weight watchers, which has helped me. I do not go to meetings due to time and money, but I like the point system. It worked for me then, but it's stalled out now.   

I know that i can do this! I just need to do a better job of convincing myself. 

Even though I do WW, I have read  Dr. Phil's book, which I thought was very well written, specifically on the reasons we eat as much as we do , or what we do.  Right now my problem food is m&m cookies. I even drive to a gas station or store specifically to get them, even if it's out of the way.  At least  I have given up soda..one step at a time! It's easier when we're  on the same path. 

My email address is: roosterfoot@yahoo.com  

Thanks, 

I can't believe that spoiled girl who wants  a  lexus! It could be how I was brought up, but I've never been impressed by brand names. I'm not sure if her day on the farm is going to get through to her as much as when she doesn't get stuff that costs nearly as much as my rent for free! A purse for 350.00? That's gotta be one damn fine purse, indestructible. Heck, for that price, it should come with money. 

I agree w/ Dr. Phil that it's not all her fault, she was brought up this way, spoiled rotten. SHe has no idea how hard it is to earn money.  It may sound very sheltered of me to say this, and it may be the truth, but I never knew people like that existed aside from Paris Hilton, and Simple Life esque television shows. 

I am 27, and have paid for my own vehicles, gas, ect for my entire life. My parents helped me out when I needed it, and since then I have helped them out when they needed it. Its what family does, and part of what family is about.  True, I do have some nice things, like my truck ( used), and my rings I've rec'd as gifts. I do not mind paying money for something of quality, something I really want and am willing to work for.  

I just don't get it that people can be so materialistic. They are insane to give a girl that young a lexus. Imagine the insurance on that thing? The insurance payments alone would be more than what most people have as a monthly car/truck payment.  

Where am I going with this? I don't know, more or less venting, and using this show as a primer on what i do not want to instill in my future children. 

... 

On the topic of the jock godfather and his band god daughter. Having been in band for many years, I was always made fun of and teased for it. I can be athletic, but I do not enjoy team sports. In my experience, it's way to competitive with in the team itself and not the team working together. Not all athletes act the way that the godfather did on the show, but many of them do. It's a bad stereotype, but it does have some truth. I'm glad that he changed his tune ( pun intended). It was definitely a flashback to watch that segment, and it makes me wonder how many people who made fun of me still feel the same way about band people. Sports can be very taxing, both mentally and physically, but so are many other persuits.  

Having watched the show, I give both Vikki and Travis credit for going and getting help for thier son, and being very concerned about what to do after he returns home.  I think many people look to these treatment facilities as a cure all, and do not realize that this is a long road, and that the individual needs all the help and support they can get, even just knowing someone else would be there: a soft place to fall. 

I also give credit to Justin, that he was very willing to get help, and seemed to understand what an opportunity he has. His attitude, at least from what we saw, is going to help him beat this.  

In the small town where I live, drugs are rampant. From the outside, no one would ever think it. But there's nothing to do here for young people, so they turn to drugs and drinking. Sadly, much of it is condoned by the parents in the community, thinking that "kids will be kids", and not doing anything to stop it- in fact, they get upset when police bust up field drinking parties- especially when athletes are involved-- 

In all town and ciites there is a drug problem, it's just more visible in certain areas. Much like the show iterated, the more we know about our children, and for those who have no children, what we know about our friends, will help us to help them.  The fight against drugs has to be fought on person at a time. It's not a blanket treatment or a blanket solution, it starts early on and keeps going. 

Even though I didn't get to actually see this show on tv, I always check it out online.  Normally, I'd find myself envious of all the gifts that these women received, but I'm not because they so deserve it. Hopefully, I will not have to go through the ordeals that these women did, but I know that if I do, I can always come out from it, and for the better.  

Robin is a great partner for Dr. Phil. I agree that she should be on more shows, especially when it comes to issues a woman may understand than a man. She's great at showing that she can help a sister out. I especially like the little things she does, the small gestures that hold great symbolism. I wish all these women the best.  They are great role models, showing that just because you're down doesn't mean you have to stay that way.  

I've never cheated and never been cheated on, and I hope I never am, but this show also proves that a woman ( or a man) has to have her wits about her. It's one thing to be part of a couple, to take care of your spouse and family, but you also have to take care of yourself as well.  

My grandmother always said that you have to love yourself, that way, if you are alone and have no one, you are still loved.  I agree wholeheartedly. It has taken  me 27 years to really understand that.  

The one woman has gotten through life on her looks. Is that really something to be proud of? When these two women compete with eachother for a size zero, it makes me feel enormous at a size 8 . I have no idea how tall they are, but a size 2 or 0 is tiny for nearly everyone.  I wonder what goes through thier minds when they are out and about and see someone who is larger than they are...are they disgusted?  I have much more respect for someone who looks closer to fourty than twenty when they are 40..it just seems more natural...is it really making yourself beautiful if it's obvious that it's fake?  I know, I know...I don't live with these women, and so on, but it still bothers me that they are unhappy with themselves at a size two. It also seems like all thier competition is physical. When the 15 yr old girl brings a boyfriend home, is her step mother going to try to win his approval as well?   

The one woman has gotten through life on her looks. Is that really something to be proud of? When these two women compete with eachother for a size zero, it makes me feel enormous at a size 8 . I have no idea how tall they are, but a size 2 or 0 is tiny for nearly everyone.  I wonder what goes through thier minds when they are out and about and see someone who is larger than they are...are they disgusted?  I have much more respect for someone who looks closer to fourty than twenty when they are 40..it just seems more natural...is it really making yourself beautiful if it's obvious that it's fake?  I know, I know...I don't live with these women, and so on, but it still bothers me that they are unhappy with themselves at a size two. It also seems like all thier competition is physical. When the 15 yr old girl brings a boyfriend home, is her step mother going to try to win his approval as well?  

Also, if this msg has been posted numerous times, it's because I am having problems w/ my computer 

It may sound trivial, but the one thing that I couldn't let go of is the two women who want thier children to marry eachother, " Think of the beautiful babies they'd make!",  What on earth would they do if thier children decided not to have children? I've been married for almost two years, been w/ my husband for 6 yrs before that, and now we're getting the baby talk. As if the sole mission of us getting married is to crank out babies right away. I am not against having children, and I do hope to have kids some day, but not now. There are many things I want to do, as well as being able to provide a good home. It's this whole attitude that I am a bad person, or that I'm not fulfilling my duty as a woman because I don't have kids yet.  

Don't people see how rude it is to ask complete strangers about this, "Time is running out!..tick tock, tick tock!" it's easy for people to want us to have kids when they will not be responsible for them. I work in the health care industry, and I've been at my job for about six years. Patients know I'm married, and they do not hesitate to state how they feel about kids and when I should have them. I'm not that old. I'm 27.  

Babies are not an accessory. There are many instances of teenage pregnancies where I live because girls want babies. They want them because they are cute, because they get attention from being a mother. That's not what it's about. You shouldn't think about if your baby matches your clothes. I would think that people would be happy that I am giving thought to how can I bring a child into the best life possible that my husband and I can provide, rather than popping one out like an assembly line.  

Ugghh..thank you for letting me vent. 

Maybe that is "what people do", to get married and start a family. However people are different.  When I married my husband, I was looking for a partner, not just someone to father a child.  I am not ready to have a child. Period. It has nothing to do w/ finances but everything to do with not being ready. There are things we want to do, places we want to go. I do not feel emotionally ready to have a child right now.  

I will continue to be offended when people ask me about when I am having children. It is no one's business except for mine and my husband's.  When people ask these intrusive questions I feel that they are pushing thier views onto me, because they do not think I am doing what people are allegedly supposed to do. It may be what people do. But I'm not talking about people. I'm talking about me, and my husband and our lives.  

It is your choice for deciding to have children. Your choice and my choice are different, but one is not better than the other. 

I am not saying that having  a child when one is older or younger is better. I don't know. Everyone is different with different perspectives and different influences.  

However, I do not feel that the reason of marriage is to have a baby. It should be a product of the marriage, not the reason to be married.  I firmly believe that it is better for me to have a child when I am ready and when I want one, rather than having one because I feel I should.  

Isn't that one of the best ways to bring  a child into the world? To be as ready as you can be? Sure, there are nerves and unsuredness that come with being a first time mom. There's no instruction manual. But I don't want to have a child yet. I don't feel that I'm ready as a person, and I owe it to my unborn children to admit that and recognize it.  

There is going to be someone to represent every view possible about kids. There's probably women who never ever want to have kids.  One opinion is only better than the other to the person who is saying it. What works for one doesn't work for all. 

This is like politics and religion: a hotbutton issue with no real resolution