Messages By: elffie

User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
December 14, 2005, 3:57 pm PST

Buhhda friendly

Quote From: fyte4acure

can you be so kind as to explain to me what Tai Chi is please? 

  

I like the idea that Bhuddism surrounds such as nature and being one with nature, or am I talking of another meditation/religion LOL!  I can't remember, but there are some things in Bhuddism that just do not work for me, same with Christianity.  I believe in God, and that's all that matters to me is to have a higher power!  I'm not into organized religion or cults.  But, I would like to hear more about the meditation practices of Bhuddism.  I hope I didn't spell Buddhism wrong the first two times, because I cannot change my spelling on here after posting LOL!  So much for my years of college and paper on all kinds of religions!  LOL! 

  

: ) 

I'm not actually a Buhddist, although  I do have a litttle Buhhda on my bookshelf.  Hehehe.  But I do follow a religion that is Earth bound and nature friendly and that is not strict with rules, but open to different ways of celebrating life and the many seasons of the year.   I'm not an expert on Tai Chi, I only took the session while I was pregnant as a way to relax and be comfortable being so big!  But what I got from the instructor was that Tai Chi is a form of meditation.  They have a lot of poses and there is a lot of movement, it's putting mind and body to work.  I'm sure the internet would be of better help to you.  I would hate to tell you something that isn't correct.  I am suprised that you have studied religion, that is a good thing, as to which so many people don't know a lot of things about every religion.  I am definetly not into cults either!  LOL.  I am glad to know that you do beleive in something, so many people do not.  Believing something (if it  is good for the soul) is best for the soul. 
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
December 14, 2005, 4:57 pm PST

Happy Holidays!

Quote From: cfnp25

Dr. Phil I have been an avid watcher of your show, but you need to get off the "Holiday Bandwagon".  Christ is the reason for the season.  But, if you are trying to please the atheists calling it a "Holiday Extravaganza" shouldn't please them either because holiday means Holy Day!  Duh!  I never really thought your show would try to please these "politically correct" agendas. Although, whatever you call it Christmas or Holy Day, it all means the same thing and true Christians with a backbone know the reason for the season. 
I have read many posts on here talking about Dr. Phil saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" and I don't think that is what the show was really about.  It was about giving the children of a hurrican something to look forward to, that life does go on and it will get better.  I have no idea why people are so demanding of others to say "Merry Christmas" when people say "Happy Holidays".  You don't hear people  tell others to say "Happy Holiday" when they say "Merry Christmas".  Yes, this is the time of year for Christmas, but also lots of other celebrations such as the Winter Soltice, Hannukah, and Kwanza.  I am tired of hearing people complaining that not everyone celebrates Christmas, guess what, it's a free country.  To get back to the topic at hand, I thought it was a wonderful show and those kids really deserve all the good things in life!
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
December 14, 2005, 8:54 pm PST

Quantity over quality?

Quote From: bosox86

Hi there, this is my first post here so lets see how it goes.

    First a little background information. I'm 19 years old and am at Clemson University right now in my sophmore year studying civil engineering.  I'm planning on going for my masters degree in strucutal engineering after I receive my undergrad but we'll see how everything plans out with getting a job and what not first.
    Anyways, my question for all of you is to why I cannot seem to find myself in a group of friends.  All throughout my life I have always had one good friend, never anything else.  In elementry school I had my best friend that lived down the street.  When we moved I became very good friends with my neighbor, but don't get to see all to much any more with him being in the military and me moving 1,000 miles away to go to college.  Now, I have become very good friends with my roomate.  This seems to be the pattern through my life.  I have been active in sports and activites all through my life but never had any groups of friends gel outside of  the activity.  I see pictures of other people having fun in groups of friends and enjoying themselves, and honestly, it makes me jelous.  I wish that I had more friends than I have.  Don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy being close friends with the people that I have become close with, but I'm going to be selfish and say that I wish that I had more.  I dont want to lose anything out of the friendships that I have had, but I want more than just that one friendship at a time.  I don't know if it's because I come off shy or what.  Once people get to know me they can tell you that I'm very open and that I'm not shy at all. Though if I don't know you then I may seem reserved, but the only reason for that is because I don't like to bother other people.  Even with my closest friends and family, I can sometimes feel like that I am bothering them.
    Anyways thank you for reading this and any opinons that you can give are gladly apreciated.  Thanks.



I can relate with you on this subject, I myself have never really had a "group" of friends.  I may have had one or two really good friends that I can remember.  One of those friends I still talk with to this day.  In high school I had more "aquiantices" than "friends".  That was fine by me.  I believe for people to have a good friendship should not be measured in quantity, but quality.  I myself, come off to be shy at first and then open up once people get to know me, that is what I have been told anyway.  And I believe it to be true, I just don't want to tell anybody personal things about myself.  Instead, I take the time to know someone and if I feel I can trust them, then I share my life stories with them.  If you really want to make more friends, college is the perfect place to do that.  There are always things going on, parties and what not, don't be afraid to let yourself out there.  But that is never going to happen if you think that you are bothering the person, most of the time I bet you aren't.  Infact, I'm sure you would have some pretty interesting stories, I mean, your getting a masters in structural engineering!  How cool is that!  You seem like a  determined, mature person and anyone would appreciate that.  Just give it a try, you'll see.
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
December 15, 2005, 10:28 am PST

True Love

Quote From: assie84

I am 21, and will be married 2 yrs in April, 2006 and have been together 5 yrs March, 2006. We have been seperated twice since our second year of marriage. He and i got in to a fight the day before my birthday and he moved in to his controlling dads house and is not allowed to come see me. But he still does. If his dad knew he would cut him off completley. My problem is, is that he tells me he loves me and  wants us to be together but not till he finishes college. He still has a little over two yrs to go. I know most of his reasoning is his father filling his head full of reasons for us not to be together. He does every thing his dad tells him to do. I told him he needs to think for him self and tell his father to get lost if he loves me but he won't cause, his father has never been there for him untill now. What should i do? 

I want to wait but, i cant live with out him.I keep telling him its all or nothing but i keep letting him come over and we still go out together. It hurts every time.  And i know its not fair to me. I'm to young for this stress. But i really do love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him.  

It seems you two were not ready to get married.  Why did you get married?  Was it pressure to do so?  It seems like he isn't mature enough to handle being married and being in a committed relationship.  Do you think he uses his dad as an excuse not to go back to you?  It definatly is not fair to you that he has done this, what you need to ask yourself is, why did he leave?  Will he do it again?  If you really do love him, which I'm sure you do, then you need to get down to the facts as to what is wrong with him, and if he loves you why would he do that to you?  Being married is work and it takes the two sides to keep it going.  Hope this helps.
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
December 15, 2005, 10:40 pm PST

Having a Baby Has Changed My Life

i was recently taken back to a time when my son, who will be 3 next month, was a baby again.  He found home videos of himself at grandma's.  You see your children getting older and you imagine how they will be, but sometimes I think we forget the  way they were when they first come into this world, small, fragile, and so dependent on you to keep them fed and warm.  Of course, with my son,being the age that he is, is going through a testing period with me and daddy.  Sometimes we do get frustrated and overwhelmed, but seeing him again as a baby and then looking at him now, it was crazy.  He is turning into a little person of his own, one that wants to do things for himself.  Having my son was one of the greatest moments in my life.  He and my daughter are some of the reasons why I feel my life is good.  My daughter just turned 4 months and I know I have to cherish every moment with her as well, for she too will grow into a little person who will want to do things herself.  My children have changed my life for the better, they keep me going constantly, they remind me that they will be young for only so long and then they grow up, graduate school, marry, and will maybe have children of their own.  Having children has helped me realize the important things in life.  Anyone who has had a baby should understand.
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
December 17, 2005, 2:36 pm PST

Happy Hanukkah, to you

Quote From: drphilat4

I agree that what Dr. Phil did was wondeful. He provided joy and celebration for people who lost everything and for those that helped them. On the other hand, it did bother me that he called it a Holiday Extravaganza. No, I'm not a conservative Christian. I'm a liberal reform Jew. Were any of the Jewish families who lost everything at the "holiday" party? Were any Jews who helped out from Southern California there? I know at least one synagogue was completely destroyed by the hurricane so there were some Jewish people living there. If they were invited to the holiday party do you think they were comfortable with the fact that Santa was there as well as a Christmas tree, Christmas decorations and a reading of a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer story? If it's a Christmas Extravaganza then fine, that's what it is. Let's call it what it is! 

  

The other day I took my son to the grocery store and gave him money to deposit in the Salvation Army bucket. The lady volunteer kept saying, "Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!" to us. I said, "have a happy holiday" but it bugged me for while what the proper response would have been. Obviously, if she is telling everyone "merry Christmas" then she celebrates Christmas so I could have just said that back to her. But then she would've assumed we were Christian and although that is not a bad thing to be it is not who we are and I didn't want her to assume everyone who donates to the Salvation Army is Christian and celebrates Christmas. It would have been inappropriate to say "Happy Hanukkah" back to make a point. If I said nothing back, it would've been awkward. I guess I could've said, "Well, we're Jewish but you have a Merry Christmas" but that seems like a lot to say. Anyway.... 

  

DrPhilat4 

I too have had the experience of the Salvation Army bucket and the volunteer saying,"Merry Christmas!"  I too have said "Have a Happy Holiday" because my family does not celebrate Christmas.  My son also put money into the bucket.  I understand the akwardness of it all, but I don't think it should bother us that we choose to say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas".  That teaches our children that there is more than one Holiday this month.  I think what you said is a proper response, so stop worrying, and keep saying "Happy Holidays", I know I will!   
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
December 17, 2005, 10:07 pm PST

What?!

Quote From: crissysboy

ok thats like me just lighting up a cigarette even though it could bother other people. I dont wnat to see some other womens breast hanging out like that. but i have more respect, i ask someone even in my vehicle or home if it will bother them if i smoke and if they say yes i respect them and not smoke in the house  i go outside or i dont smoke in the car. if someone who breastfeeds comes to my house they can pump before they come over or just go when it is close to time to breastfeed. the only one who will be doing that in our home is me and i will go to the bedroom if my stepson is home out of respect for him. i havent decided if im going to bottle feed or breastfeed yet anyway.
Ok, breastfeeding and smoking... two totally different things!  Smoking... can kill people, breastfeeding... can't kill people.  Unless there is some strange, unusual occurance that I am unaware of.  I do breastfeed, and I do cover up, I can't help it if other people are curious to see what is inside my shirt.  Do they really not know what they will see if they look?  People have choices, if you are uncomfortable... don't look.  When it comes to my baby being hungry, I will feed her.  I feel no need to leave.  I do not go to fancy restaurants, considering I do have a soon to be 3 year old, but we do occasionally go out to eat.  I have friends who have breastfed and when they come over I am not rude or disgusted by them when they need to feed there baby.  I would definantly not tell them to go somewhere else to feed their baby.  Sometimes you can't help when your baby is going to be hungry.  They do not come with an alarm clock set for the times for feedings.  I am sorry that you obviously only see the breast as sexual objects, do you also see them as disgusting?  You said that you would be the only one the home breastfeeding, and you would go to another room as to not upset your son.  Are you pregnant?  How are you going to go to another room to breastfeed and leave a nine year old by himself?  Do you realize that breastfeeding can be quite a timely thing to do.  And if you are pregnant, are you smoking?  Because that is more dangerous than having someone sneek a peek at your boob!
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
December 28, 2005, 9:22 pm PST

ahh...love...!

This is so funny because just today I told my husband that one my new year resolutions was to not to be so criticle of everything, including the things that he does.   I have always been an easy going person, but since the kids I have changed and I want to get back to my old self.  I also want to spend more time with him doing the things that we like to do.  We would do almost everything together.  Now, I know that we won't be able to do everything considering he works a lot and we have two young children, but a once a week date night would be nice.  I miss those and I think he does too.  I also want him to know for sure that I do admire and respect him for taking on the role as the financial provider.  I'm sure that he respects me as a stay at home mom and he does tell me that, and now I need to tell him more that I feel the same way about him.  We have been together for almost seven years now and I have fallen more in love with him.  I know, it sounds cheesy, but true.  So, my resolution is to be closer to my husband and to not be so criticle if he folds the clothes the wrong way.  I know, it will be hard, but I believe I can do it. lol
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
December 28, 2005, 9:59 pm PST

12/28 Wifestyles

Quote From: donnawies

I work full time; my husband has been at home with the kids for the last 12 years (we've been married for 22). It works for us. Am I not a good wife? According to some of you, we're going against God's plan. Lighten up! Marriage is a constant negotiation; each couple has to work out what works for them, and then when things change, work it out again. It is obviously NOT working for the first poor couple on the show. Women have always "worked". My grandmother went to work in the 40's while my father's older sister raised him. This myth of the suburban stay at home mom is a fairly recent phenomenom. Hasn't anyone out there read the Feminine Mystique? 

  

Why can't women stop judging each other and instead support each other's choices?  

I'm sure your question was rhetorical because you know the answer.  Of course you are a good mother. I actually think it is refreshing to hear that men do stay at home with their kids.  It's good to know that not all men today are cave men.  I'm not saying that I am married to one, my husband works and I stay at home and he greatly appreciates what I do as so do I with him.  I was never raised thinking that I would be a stay at home mom.  All the women in my family are strong independent women and I thought I would grow up and become a photographer, but things change.  When I had my son I knew that I wanted to stay home.  And I am lucky enough to be able to do that.  I think it is great that you work and he stays home and I'm sure that you have a wonderful family.  Good luck in all you do.  And I agree with you, why can't women stop judging each other and instead support each other's choices?  Seems like that would be a good idea.
 
User Mood
Relaxed

Message Emote
blank
December 28, 2005, 10:07 pm PST

Gag gift?

Quote From: planebusz

My husband and I were recently married this past summer.  We are 40+ in age.  His mother just sent him a "Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition 2006 Calender" with scantily dressed models for a Christmas present.  How would you react? 

  

  

  

  

  

  

Is she the joking type?  Sounds like it was one of those gag gifts, I have actually done something similar to that except I included vaseline.lol.  I personally would not have a problem with it.  Everyone knows that those girls are plastic and he knows that he has a real women at home with him.  If you are really upset then you should tell him to maybe get rid of it, or atleast put it somewhere so that you don't have to see it. 
 

First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Next | Last
Return to Message Board