Messages By: jusnanale

First of all, let me state that I am the mother of 3 grown children and Nana to 8 grandkids and would not begin to assume that I am more capable to make financial decisions for them than they are able to do for themselves.  It is my opinion that children need to learn for themselves how to handle their finances and if they want advice, then they need to go to someone they can trust and who knows how to steer them in the right direction - like a financial advisor.  Moms and Dads are there for the little financial stuff - lending money for gas til payday, picking up a few groceries, etc. - that is after paying for college and the like, but not to guard the inheritance once they are of age.  Our family does not have a lot of money, nor did my parents or my grandparents.  My husband and I have been married for nearly 30 years and we are in our mid-40's.  We work hard for everything we have and we may not have much compared to a lot of other people, but our family does not have time to argue over money or land, or anything else - life is too short!!!  We enjoy each other, help each other, pray for each other, and leave each other alone when it comes to adult decisions now that they are older.  If they need our advice, they ask, otherwise we are just here to spoil the grand babies!!!  

To say that I am frustrated with the mother of the 19 year old on today's show is putting it mildly.  I cannot get angry with them, because I do not know them, but it is close.  When I looked at the clips from the interview before the show, it was obvious that they have a nice home, she has nice things in her home, and seems to dress nicely and take good care of herself.  I am wondering, therefore, why she needs to have her son pay back his grandparents for her divorce, take money from his account to hire an attorney, and take all of his money and keep it from him.  It seems to me that maybe mom is a little needy!  She seems young enough to be able to get a job and take care of herself.  I'm not sure how she acquired all of the things she has, but I believe that she should be able to take care of herself now that her son is grown up and she should not expect him to take care of her.  She said something that kind of worried me just a little, that her son is her best friend.  Shouldn't she have a best friend closer to her own age?  That is putting a lot of responsibility on your child to be there for you in ways that a 'best friend' would be.  I think that mom needs to step aside and let her son be an adult, an individual who has the right to make decisions and mistakes all by himself and learn from them.  This mother seems to 'know' what is right for her son, and I can tell you that this is going to do him more harm than if he were to just go and spend all the money.  She needs to take care of herself, not depend on him financially or otherwise other than in the normal roles of mother and child.  She has no legal right to this money, she should never assume to even ask her son to pay for her divorce - if she wanted one then it is her responsibility to pay for one, not his - and she has a lot of nerve to take his money to sue him!!!  I am completely upset by her behavior and agree with Dr. Phil in that it was time to 'be done' with them because there was no way she was going to listen.  This young man needs to remove himself from her life, atleast for the time being, and learn to exist and excel on his own, with his friend or not.  He will make mistakes, he will make bad financial decisions, and he will make it; that is if he can get away from her.  He needs to do it NOW, with ALL of the money that his father left to him, not his ex-wife!!! 

That's my opinion - Jusnanale28 

In my humble opinion, this mom just needs to but out.  Considering her ex-husband was in the military and she, from what I could gather, has not remarried, she was most likely getting a maintenance payment each month while he was alive to take care of her and her son's needs and living expenses.  That, of course, stopped when he passed away.  At that point she is not entitled to anything more.  I am sure the ex-husband felt that upon his death his son could use the inheritance to get started in life - investing, college, a home, etc.  Unfortunately, he did not seek out professional advice on how to set up a trust for his son in order to make sure these things took place.  At that point, upon the father's death, she had no right to do anything with the money unless he agreed to it.  Just as she does not have the right now - legally or otherwise.  It is not hers to make decisions on! 

But anyway, this young man is not responsible for anything his parents have done or will do; he was just born into a family where the marriage did not work out.  All of the 'red flags' were present during the pre-show interviews as well as on stage.  She had a beautiful home with nice things, was dressed nicely, etc.  It did not look like she was 'struggling' at all.  She didn't even pay for her own divorce which means she probably didn't work a day in her life and is accustomed to being taken care of.  She stated that they could never pay the grandparents back for what they did for them, i.e., taking the son on cruises, etc.  But speaking as a grandparent, you do these things out of love not because you want to be paid back and it is insulting of the mother to say that they should take some of the young man's inheritance to attempt to do so.  As far as the other mom and his best friend are concerned, it is the young man's business with whom he wishes to spend his time and who he wants to speak with in confidence.  I gathered from the show that they had parted ways during the best friend's 'drug day's and that this young man invited him back into his life once he was clean and sober.  That sounds like some pretty good decision making to me - he didn't follow his friend into the drug scene, now did he?  He waited til he was back on his feet and then offered to be his friend again.  Now that's someone I think we all could use in our lives - a forgiving, caring friend!  I do not see anything wrong with what these folks have done, it seems to me that they are trying to help him to grow up a little bit.   

And as far as the car goes, what is the big deal?  I'm sure the Dr. Phil producers had him drive it to show that this is what happened - maybe the young man just likes to be chauffered around!  So what!  So they went on a trip without the mom, big deal my kids went on lots of trips without me when they were 19-20 and I didn't cry about it or not answer my phone for three days.  On the other hand, they called me each day and let us know that they were OK and having fun!   

What it comes down to plain and simple is it's his money, his car, and everyone should let him do with his 'stuff' as he pleases.  If he spends it all, oh well.  He doesn't seem too slow to me, just very sheltered by a mom who may have other motives other than just taking care of her son.  He just needs to grow up and learn what life is all about and that includes making mistakes - financial ones, trust ones, love ones, and just plain life ones.  We are all human and this mom needs to let her son grow up and maybe she will be surprised at how well he does and how well he will treat her if she backs off! 

Again, just my opinion! - Jusnanale28 

We also are in the middle of a DSS case that is unfounded, corrupt, and full of un-proven facts, lies, and inuendo.  We are in fear of losing our 4 precious grandchildren, the youngest one was raised by us and in our home every day of his life until DSS came with two police officers to our home and declared they "were uncomfortable with the placement" and took the kids kicking and screaming from our ams.  We did nothing wrong, all care providers - doctors, dentists, therapists, teachers, etc. have said and are continuing to say that the children were making definite improvements while in our care, and even DSS, CASA, and the childrens' GAL told us that we would probably end up with all 4.  We had all gone into this case with the knowledge that our daughter wanted to give up her rights to her boys and to keep her daughter, the oldest.  Katie is 6 now, the twins (my boys) are 5, and Jacob is 3.  He calls my husband 'Daddy'.  All of the children will tell you they want to be with us and live with us.  Well, after they took the kids from us they changed the permancy plan to reunification with mother.  Everyone will tell you that they set her up to fail, but she finished her treatment plan and was doing OK outside of the fact that the house was always messy but I don't know any single mom with four small children who can keep a house clean at all times.  The 'powers that be' would not let us spend any time with the kids unless our daughter was there, although they basically threw it in our face that we had to take them to school, daycare, and back home each day without our daughter being present.  She did not have her driver's license, no car, etc. and they told her that as long as the kids were getting to where they needed to be they would not pull them..In fact, we just found out today that they had given her legal as well as physical custody for the two months they were at home with her.  Two weeks ago everything blew up!  Our daughter asked her attorney to file a motion to dismiss as she wanted the case to be closed since it had been a year and she had completed her treatment plan.  Well, the DSS caseworker did not show up for the hearing and the GAL for the children was not present but someone did fill in for her.  Our daughter was allowed to speak and she told the judge that she wanted to move to Denver where there was more opportunity and the judge told her once she was set up with a job and appropriate housing they would do a change of venue to make sure everything was OK.  The hearing was rescheduled for the next week so the caseworker could be there.  Well, the next week our grandchildren were taken into foster care temporarily we thought so our daughter could go to Denver and get set up.  When the caseworker came to get them she told our daughter not to tell them she would be back for them cause that might not happen.  She took the kids, our daughter called her attorney with no call back, and she went to Denver as all her plans had been made.  That Friday the DSS caseworker called to inform her of a shelter hearing to be held within the hour.  Obviously she waited just long enough so that our daughter would not have time to get back down here (2 hour ride) and she missed the hearing.  The caseworker called her later that day and asked her to sign off her rights so they wouldn't have to take it to trial as the kids deserved some stability and she had already found an adoptive home that would take all 4 of them!!!!!!!!  Now obviously this could not have happened within 4 days!  Our daughter basically told her what she could do with her suggestion and the caseworker said they would be filing to terminate her rights.  We figure they are going for abandonement since she went to Denver even though the judge had said she could do a change of venue - of course while the caseworker and GAL were not there.  We found out today from our daughter that the children have been placed in a foster/adopt home 300 miles from their home but still in the state.  Her attorney told her he had known about it and yet he did not inform her.  We have no money for an attorney and neither does she, so we are going to fight this one on our own.  They have been dishonest, deceitful, and plain cowards.  We are not perfect, but they knew our pasts when they placed the kids with us for the first 7 months of the case.  They knew our daughter would most likely fail - they made her quit school and told her to go on TANF while the case was open as it would be easier for everyone and yet they paid for three months of daycare so she could look for work.  We have been the childrens' daycare and caretakers in general  their whole lives, and in fact was paid by DSS to do so.  As long as the ASFA is in force as it stands, parents and families are at risk of losing their children and children will be castrated from their families, traditions, and they people they love all because our government has given local DSS, CPS, DCF (or whatever) bonuses for putting children into foster care and then more money for adopting them out.  They are supposed to do what is in the 'best interest of the child' but with all of these cases and reports and stories in the media, in support groups on-line and even posted here on Dr. Phil's site, it is obvious that the childrens' best interest is not being served - the best interest of local county budgets and workers financial accounts is what is being served.

As a country we need to stand up and demand that our children be returned to their homes.  The numbers are staggering and unlike times past, the children in foster care and available for adoption are not all abused, neglected, and from drug abuse homes or that of sexual abuse.  As said on this board before, DSS, et al can pretty much say whatever they want and do not have to prove anything.  The courts, court appointed attorneys, casewrokers, GAL's are all paid from these bonuses where it had to do with foster care and adoption and if they all need a little extra, they find a family that has no resources to fight and takes their children.  I haven't heard of a wealthy family going through all of this as they have the money to hire the best and brightest attorneys and they keep their children.

The corruption has to stop!  The defenseless children need to be brought home, and our local counties need to pay for their indescretions.  In a criminal matter these people would be serving time for purgery, contempt, and endangering the life of a child; however, in DSS Land, they are applauded for their 'good works' and saving the lives of abused and neglected children.  How many of you will stand up and fight this?  Dr. Phil the previous writer asked you to stand up and I am doing so as well.  Dig into this story and you will find plenty of families that will substantiate what has been written on your boards in regards to foster care, adoption, and corruption of same.  We, the families that want our children to be safe in their loving (not abusive), caring (not neglecting) homes want you to stand up for us and fight this fight with us.  Can you imagine losing your children or future grandchildren when you have done nothing wrong but simply because you do not have the resources to fight?  It is happening out here in Reality Land and the children are paying the price.  Please, won't you help us to make it a safe world for our children not one where they are in fear of being pulled from their families?  Let's fight this people!  If we don't fight for the kids, who will?  Remember it goes both ways - "IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD"!!!!!!  May God be with us all, especially the children!  Jusnanale28

We are in the middle of a DSS case that is unfounded, corrupt, and full of un-proven facts, lies, and inuendo.  We are in fear of losing our 4 precious grandchildren, the youngest one was raised by us and in our home every day of his life until DSS came with two police officers to our home and declared they "were uncomfortable with the placement" and took the kids kicking and screaming from our ams.  They had been placed with us at the very beginning of our daughter's D&N case and did not go into foster care until that day.  We did nothing wrong, all care providers - doctors, dentists, therapists, teachers, etc. have said and are continuing to say that the children were making definite improvements while in our care, and even DSS, CASA, and the childrens' GAL told us that we would probably end up with all 4 and under no circumstances would they return the children to our daughter's care.  We had all gone into this case with the knowledge that our daughter wanted to give up her rights to her boys and to keep her daughter, the oldest.  CASA did not agree with this and DSS told her she could not pick and chose between her children, but that had been done before they were born when she wanted to put them up for adoption and we said we would take them.  Katie is 6 now, the twins (my boys) are 5, and Jacob is 3.  He calls my husband 'Daddy'.  All of the children will tell you they want to be with us and live with us.  Well, after they took the kids from us they changed the permancy plan to reunification with mother.  We can only figure that this is the point where they decided to adopt them out and were just going to give her enough rope.  Everyone will tell you that they set her up to fail, but she finished her treatment plan and was doing OK outside of the fact that the house was always messy but I don't know any single mom with four small children who can keep a house clean at all times.  The 'powers that be' would not let us spend any time with the kids unless our daughter was there, although they basically threw it in our face that we had to take them to school, daycare, and back home each day without our daughter being present.  All of the caseworkers, et al had always said that they would not take the kids from us and never planned to because it would be detremental to them.  More lies!  Our daughter does not have her driver's license, no car, etc. and even though the GAL made fixing these issues a condition of returning the kids to her care, the DSS caseworker returned them to her without notifying the GAL and once that took place it really made things hard for everyone but they told her that as long as the kids were getting to where they needed to be they would not pull them.  In fact, we just found out today that they had given her legal as well as physical custody for the two months they were at home with her.  Two weeks ago everything blew up!  Our daughter asked her attorney to file a motion to dismiss as she wanted the case to be closed since it had been a year and she had completed her treatment plan.  Well, the DSS caseworker did not show up for the hearing and the GAL for the children was not present but someone did fill in for her.  Our daughter was allowed to speak and she told the judge that she wanted to move to Denver where there was more opportunity and the judge told her once she was set up with a job and appropriate housing they would do a change of venue to make sure everything was OK.  The hearing was rescheduled for the next week so the caseworker could be there.  Well, the next week our grandchildren were taken into foster care temporarily we thought so our daughter could go to Denver and get set up.  When the caseworker came to get them she told our daughter not to tell them she would be back for them cause that might not happen.  She took the kids, our daughter called her attorney with no call back, and she went to Denver as all her plans had been made.  That Friday the DSS caseworker called to inform her of a shelter hearing to be held within the hour.  Obviously she waited just long enough so that our daughter would not have time to get back down here (2 hour ride) and she missed the hearing.  The caseworker called her later that day and asked her to sign off her rights so they wouldn't have to take it to trial as the kids deserved some stability (they had had stability all their lives while they were with us until they removed them from our home, then put them in foster care, then put them with our daughter, then put them in foster care, and now have placed them with a foster/adopt famaily) and she had already found an adoptive home that would take all 4 of them!!!!!!!!  Now obviously this could not have happened within 4 days and like I said previously, they most likely have been planning this all along and are trying to take it under the radar so they can say in court that the children have established a bond with foster/adopt family!  We believe that they are trying to pull fast ones at every turn and we are going to file motions, get affadavits, etc. to show the court that the children were just fine with us and they have damaged the children.  They are not the same kids as the ones we have always known, they are angry, turned inward, and only want hugs from us and no one else.  They are scared and say they want to hit and kick the 'judge ladies' and slam the door on them so they can't take them!  Our daughter, thankfully, stood up for her children and basically told her what she could do with her suggestion and the caseworker said they would be filing to terminate her rights.  We figure they are going for abandonement since she went to Denver even though the judge had said she could do a change of venue - of course while the caseworker and GAL were not there.  We found out today from our daughter that the children have been placed in a foster/adopt home 300 miles from their home but still in the state.  Her attorney told her he had known about it and yet he did not inform her.  We have no money for an attorney and neither does she, so we are going to fight this one on our own.  They have been dishonest, deceitful, and plain cowards.  We are not perfect, but they knew our pasts when they placed the kids with us for the first 7 months of the case.  They knew our daughter would most likely fail - they made her quit school and told her to go on TANF while the case was open as it would be easier for everyone and yet they paid for three months of daycare so she could look for work, but most of all to keep them from us, other than being the TAXI.  We have been the childrens' daycare and caretakers in general  their whole lives, and in fact I was paid by DSS to do so.  As long as the ASFA (Adoption and Safe Families Act) is in force as it stands, parents and families are at risk of losing their children and children will be castrated from their families, traditions, and the people they love all because our government has given local DSS, CPS, DCF (or whatever) bonuses for putting children into foster care and then more money for adopting them out.  They are supposed to do what is in the 'best interest of the child' but with all of these cases and reports and stories in the media, in support groups on-line and even posted here on Dr. Phil's site, it is obvious that the childrens' best interest are not being served - the best interest of local county budgets and workers financial accounts is what is being served.

As a country we need to stand up and demand that our children be returned to their homes.  The numbers are staggering and unlike times past, the children in foster care and available for adoption are not all abused, neglected, and from drug abuse homes or that of sexual abuse.  As said on this board before, DSS, et al can pretty much say whatever they want and do not have to prove anything.  The courts, court appointed attorneys, casewrokers, GAL's are all paid from these bonuses where it had to do with foster care and adoption and if they all need a little extra, they find a family that has no resources to fight and takes their children.  I haven't heard of a wealthy family going through all of this as they have the money to hire the best and brightest attorneys and they keep their children.

The corruption has to stop!  The defenseless children need to be brought home, and our local counties need to pay for their indescretions.  In a criminal matter these people would be serving time for purgery, contempt, and endangering the life of a child; however, in DSS Land, they are applauded for their 'good works' and saving the lives of abused and neglected children.  How many of you will stand up and fight this?  Dr. Phil, previous writers have asked you to stand up and I am doing so as well.  Dig into this story and you will find plenty of families that will substantiate what has been written on your boards in regards to foster care, adoption, and corruption of same.  We, the families that want our children to be safe in their loving (not abusive), caring (not neglectful) homes want you to stand up for us and fight this fight with us.  Can you imagine losing your children or future grandchildren when you have done nothing wrong but simply because you do not have the resources to fight?  It is happening out here in Reality Land and the children are paying the price.  Please, won't you help us to make it a safe world for our children not one where they are in fear of being pulled from their families?  Let's fight this people!  If we don't fight for the kids, who will?  Remember it goes both ways - "IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD"!!!!!!