Messages By: msomeone2

I am totally disgusted  by the mother and daughter worried about their inheritance and the poor woman isn't even dead! My mom died in 1999 and for years before she died she told me she felt bad for me because once she was gone, all my sisters and brother would be fighting me for what little she had to leave in life. She was so right, with the exception that they didn't wait til she died as she had thought. In 1983 my mother made her will and left her house to myself and my husband. She left money to the others.  In 1987 I divorced and my mom never changed her will. My sisters were always telling her to change her will and take my ex out of it. She refused as my ex was more of a son to my mom than her own children, other than myself.  She trusted my ex to do the right thing and give me his share of the home which he always said he would do. My mom retired in 1992 at age 69 after waitressing for more than 45 years of her life. At that point she sold her car and quit driving. I shopped, banked, took my mom to and from her Dr. apt. helped her write her bills out each month, and even moved back into her home at her request to take care of her (her biggest fear was growing old and being placed in a retirement home). My sisters, one of which lived within 5 miles went for months at a time without talking to my mom. My brother who lived a few hundred miles away hadn't seen or talked to my mom in 10 years. But when she had a stroke in 1999 they were all there in less than 2 days, hired a lawyer (a friend to one) and were going to have a new will drawn up and have it dated before my moms stroke. When I said I wouldn't be a part of this I was threatened by all of them, and was blamed for her stroke by all of them.  My mom died a few months later in o "home" they had placed her in. They immediatly contested her will and after 3 long years because I could not afford an attorney they were able to sell her home and in the end I got $48,000, my ex got $94,000 and they each got about 30,000. my ex kept his shere entirely and no longer has any contact with myself or my 20 year old daughter (his first born), but he has a much bigger house, a Harley, and new jet ski's, while our daughter works full time because we can't afford college. The home that was sold for $200,000 is now worth $650,000 but they all made sure I didn't get it as my mom wanted me to. And with all said the only part I care about is that I miss my mom. I'd give it all and more to have her back. I miss her EVERY day of my life. The peace of mind I have is that I knew my mom loved me and my daughter with all her heart while she was alive and she knew that we loved her just as much. She could not say the same about her other 4 children. I 

I wish the daughter and grandaughter would love the mom while she IS here and don't worry about what is there when she is gone. It is hers, she worked for it, maybe they should try the same. 

I have not talked to or heard from any of my sisters since 1999 and hope that I never do again.  

It seems to me from what's going on on the show that Tracy is upset because she didn't get any of the money. Well lady, you got a divorce, so that's it. The money is your son's, and he's a legal adult so leave him alone. I think she's resentful and feels like the money should be hers since she was married to the dad.  

She's ridiculous for trying to get her son judged incompetent. And her divorce expenses are hers, not his. Let the kid get his inheritance!  

What an interesting topic and even moreso because I live in Saskatchewan.  The daughter Davene and granddaughter Amber came across as selfish, vindictive,  and uncaring towards their grandmother, Aileen. Aileen came across as extremely bright, well-informed, and shrewd when it comes to dealing with these two women.  

If grandpa wanted his daughter to own half the farm, he certainly had the opportunity to include her in his will.  He did not, maybe for obvious reasons.  I am curious as to what energy and resources Davene and Amber are devoting to their own self-sufficiency besides making the grandmother's last years of life a living hell.  

May I also make a prediction?  Some day in the future when grandmother Aileen is gone, Davene and Amber will be at each other's throats, fighting each other for control and power of the assets.  You reap what you sow! 

My mom passed away two months ago and she left a trust leaving all of her monetary assets to be divided equally between the four of us children.  She made my sister the trustee because she was the only one that lived there.  The last two years she has visited my mother in the nursing home daily, picked things up at the store for her and helped out in many ways.  None of them monetary.  Before that mom lived in a house where my sister also lived and was able to get back on her feet living rent and utility free.  Mom complained that she didn't help out with the house payment, didn't clean or cook or help out.  We were glad though that someone was there to look out after her if something happened. 

As soon as the burial service was over we were brought in with a financial adviser and we went over the trust.  No lawyer was present.  My sister immediately stated that she wanted the house (valued at $45,000-$50,000).  My other two siblings said that she could have their share, they didn't want to bother with fixing it up (they are both worth over a million dollars anyway).  I said I wanted to think about it and my sister immediately blew up calling me names, said I was never there to help out, which wasn't true.  I kept saying I wanted to wait, it had been a very difficult last couple of weeks but under pressure I said ok, I would sign over my share.  Nothing was said about the car or household items and momentos.  I would assume that my sister could take the car and other things but I want pictures and momemtos and am having second thoughts about signing over my share of the house. Especially since there has been no communication as to dividing up the checking account after the hospital bill, taxes and other things are paid (there is around $50,000 in the account).  I have questions about life insurance and dividing up things and feel if I sign I will never get anything other than what was intended in the trust.  I also feel that it isn't what my mother wanted and as trustee my sister should do what mom wanted her to do.  Mom always said she wanted us not to fight and she always would always treat us fairly.  Mom had her brother as trustee until less than a year ago.  Her brother passed away and she didn't know who to have. She always said she didn't want one of us kids to be a trustee because of the danger of fighting. I don't know what to do. 

I hope Aileen watches the show and decides to leave her farm to a local shelter or some other more deserving endeavor than her daughter and granddaughter. Or, hopefully, they watch and see themselves as we saw them. 

The other family is equally sad. The son will likely blow the money but it's HIS to blow. His mom should just go back to being a mother. Perhaps if she concentrated on loving her son, she could gently sway him into spending and saving wisely but it appears as though she's mainly interested in getting it for herself.... pathetic. 

When my dad died, my sisters and I only hoped my mom would use what she had to enjoy life. We asked her not to sell their home but she decided to do so and then we all argued with her when she insisted on splitting the gains 5 ways with an equal share for her and all 4 of her daughters. We would rather have seen her use the money to travel but it gave her pleasure to see us get a few extras in our own lives. When mom died, the 4 of us sat and sorted her things with much tears and laughter. Things were shared equally with small tokens reserved for her precious friends and family. There was no arguing or ill will and the most precious things she left were the hoard of cards we had all sent her through her life. She'd written notes on each card and none of us were aware of them until after she passed. Myself and my 3 wonderful sisters rely on each other for support and love and laughter and I can't imagine any amount of money or pieces of jewelry that would have been worth breaking those ties!!! 

http://www.hugkiss.com/mom/membox.html 

This is the story of what my mom left to us... much more precious than the money or the jewelry was :) 

That's not true. 

So many women don't report. So many men don't report. There's so much shame and questioning one's self. The victim victimizes his/herself. They want to ignore it. They want it to go away. It's hard to live with sexual assualt. 

(Sexual harassment typically veers more to words. And it's not any better. It's just a violating. Sometimes more so because who's at fault gets more distorted than ever.) 

Reading through your messages... I have to wonder... I only know one type of person who makes these statements. The psychology of that person... well, it's pretty much a consensus.