Messages By: monique073

I am new to the board, but have been trying to figure out where I can receive some advice on my role as a co-parent. My fiancé and I have a child that is 1 together and he has a son that is 7 from his last marriage that basically lives with us. The mother has taken a job on which she doesn't feel she can provide him transportation to school and has given us more custody in order to make things easier for her. The mother and I have never communicated and basically have never stood around eachother for any extended amount of time. She basically deals though the father as to what days she can/can't take her son for a while and she also does have him every other weekend, and supposed to be one day during the week til 8:00pm. Ever since the father and i have been together, which has been 2 years, he refuses to ask the mother first when scheduling business trips and other things that he has going on. He has claimed that he does not agree with her parenting because he saw her raise her 2 older kids first hand when they were married and does not trust her. I have never seen that she cannot raise a child, granted there has been normal teenage rebellion and other things. By the way these 2 children are not my fiancés but from 2 other men. The normal thing for him to do is wait til the last minute when scheduling things and when I ask if his son's mother is going to help out he says "no" even though he has not asked her. Now here's my problem…I feel that I work a full time job also and have taken our daughter to and from daycare and have basically taken a huge role in our daughters life because he is either too busy woth his son's or with his business. When times arise and he is out of town my hours of work are 7:30am and I don't want to be late for work either, I feel that it is the mothers and my fiancés responsibility to work out together. My finacé has relied on his mother in the past also and they both refuse to allow the mom to be a mom, and the mom doesn't seem to care all that much. I guess I am just looking for advice because I have started to put my foot down and refuse to watch his son for him when he wants to do his extra things in life, basically because I feel even with my one child I don't have time to do the things I want with my life, and he doesn't help me out with her. Also we argue about disciplining his son and I feel he lets him do whatever most days just so he can do whatever and not have to deal with him, because of this and my fiancé refusing to consistently discipline, i have taken a step back from the relationship. Please, if anyone has some similar thoughts, please share.

I am new to the board, but have been trying to figure out where I can receive some advice on my role as a co-parent. My fiancé and I have a child that is 1 together and he has a son that is 7 from his last marriage that basically lives with us. The mother has taken a job on which she doesn't feel she can provide him transportation to school and has given us more custody in order to make things easier for her. The mother and I have never communicated and basically have never stood around eachother for any extended amount of time. She basically deals though the father as to what days she can/can't take her son for a while and she also does have him every other weekend, and supposed to be one day during the week til 8:00pm. Ever since the father and i have been together, which has been 2 years, he refuses to ask the mother first when scheduling business trips and other things that he has going on. He has claimed that he does not agree with her parenting because he saw her raise her 2 older kids first hand when they were married and does not trust her. I have never seen that she cannot raise a child, granted there has been normal teenage rebellion and other things. By the way these 2 children are not my fiancés but from 2 other men. The normal thing for him to do is wait til the last minute when scheduling things and when I ask if his son's mother is going to help out he says "no" even though he has not asked her. Now here's my problem…I feel that I work a full time job also and have taken our daughter to and from daycare and have basically taken a huge role in our daughters life because he is either too busy woth his son's or with his business. When times arise and he is out of town my hours of work are 7:30am and I don't want to be late for work either, I feel that it is the mothers and my fiancés responsibility to work out together. My finacé has relied on his mother in the past also and they both refuse to allow the mom to be a mom, and the mom doesn't seem to care all that much. I guess I am just looking for advice because I have started to put my foot down and refuse to watch his son for him when he wants to do his extra things in life, basically because I feel even with my one child I don't have time to do the things I want with my life, and he doesn't help me out with her. Also we argue about disciplining his son and I feel he lets him do whatever most days just so he can do whatever and not have to deal with him, because of this and my fiancé refusing to consistently discipline, i have taken a step back from the relationship. Please, if anyone has some similar thoughts, please share.

I am new to the board, but have been trying to figure out where I can receive some advice on my role as a step parent. My fiancé and I have a child that is 1 together and he has a son that is 7 from his last marriage that basically lives with us. The mother has taken a job on which she doesn't feel she can provide him transportation to school and has given us more custody in order to make things easier for her. The mother and I have never communicated and basically have never stood around eachother for any extended amount of time. She basically deals though the father as to what days she can/can't take her son for a while and she also does have him every other weekend, and supposed to be one day during the week til 8:00pm. Ever since the father and i have been together, which has been 2 years, he refuses to ask the mother first when scheduling business trips and other things that he has going on. He has claimed that he does not agree with her parenting because he saw her raise her 2 older kids first hand when they were married and does not trust her. I have never seen that she cannot raise a child, granted there has been normal teenage rebellion and other things. By the way these 2 children are not my fiancés but from 2 other men. The normal thing for him to do is wait til the last minute when scheduling things and when I ask if his son's mother is going to help out he says "no" even though he has not asked her. Now here's my problem…I feel that I work a full time job also and have taken our daughter to and from daycare and have basically taken a huge role in our daughters life because he is either too busy woth his son's or with his business. When times arise and he is out of town my hours of work are 7:30am and I don't want to be late for work either, I feel that it is the mothers and my fiancés responsibility to work out together. My finacé has relied on his mother in the past also and they both refuse to allow the mom to be a mom, and the mom doesn't seem to care all that much. I guess I am just looking for advice because I have started to put my foot down and refuse to watch his son for him when he wants to do his extra things in life, basically because I feel even with my one child I don't have time to do the things I want with my life, and he doesn't help me out with her. Also we argue about disciplining his son and I feel he lets him do whatever most days just so he can do whatever and not have to deal with him, because of this and my fiancé refusing to consistently discipline, i have taken a step back from the relationship. Please, if anyone has some similar thoughts, please share.