Messages By: saucy20

I've worked as a tutor to elementary, middle and high school sstudents for the past three years.  I help them with the lessons that they didn't understand well in class, as well as their homework and any other academic issues that may arise.

 

I live in florida and let me tell you that the homework that is given to students is steadily getting more difficult, not to mention that the parents of the children I tutor are getting even more difficult.

 

The one complaint that I've heard from each and every student that I have worked with is that when they do their homework they often have their parents breathing down their backs checking up on them every fifteen to twenty minutes, often disrupting their concentration and self esteem with comments like, "Are you still doing your homework?" or "What's taking you so long?" or "Why are you having problems with this, it's easy!"

 

I've also witnessed alot of this as well.

 

Let me make one thing clear, heckling your child and nitpicking as your child is trying their best to do their homework does not help them do their homework faster.

 

It has the opposite effect. It breaks the child's concentration as well as chips away at their self-esteem.

 

Also it hurts the child to have their mother and father on their backs instead of offering them any actual help.

 

 

 

 

 

     Any type of abuse, be it physical, verbal or otherwise, is an absolute deal breaker.

A successful relationship requires trust and respect from all the parties involved and there is no chance of having feelings of trust and respect for an abusive partner.

Also if there are children involved, their safety and well being are paramount. If one spouse has so little respect for the other that they abuse them, what makes you think that they won't turn on their own children? Get out of that situation for your children's sake, because abuse in all forms is a vicious thing and easily passed down from generation to generation.

Abusers are often master manipulators, able to convince those around them that they are perfectly normal and that they would never harm the one that they love along with any children that they have. When a partner leaves such a relationship they are often assailed with declarations of love and promises that the abuse will never happen again. But guess what?

It's a lie.

That's why it seems like a never ending cycle and it often stays that way for a long time.

It takes a strong person to gather their famiies and leave their abuser. Many times, they abuser is the one that is in charge of everything in the relationship. Those leaving find that they often have little more than the clothes on their back and their lives.

Fortunately for myself, I've never been in such a scenario, but many people that I love dearly have and it is my hope that this woman, Erin, holds onto the strength to stay away from her husband. Not only for herself but for the health and well being of her children, because children see and hear everything that goes on in their parents relationships.

The reason that lie detector's aren't admissable in court is because they aren't as reliable as most people believe. Although many believe their accuracy to be in the range of 90 to 95 percent, their true range of accuracy falls to about 63 percent.

 

Polygraphs measure physiological responses: blood pressure, pulse, respiration and skin conductivity.

 

If a person is normally nervous or anxious and takes the test, their results will be inconclusive because the graph will go all over the place. On the flip side, if a person is relaxed and calm when taking a polygraph, their test results will more often than not show as truthful, even if they are horrendous liars.

 

This Matt guy certainly gives the impression that maintaining a modicum of calm during one of these tests wouldn't be difficult...I really feel for Elizabeth and those poor people that he's conning.

 

People like Matt feel nothing for people other than themselves, so in the long run perhaps it would be best for their children to have little to no contact with him. Can you imagine having to deal with a father like that on a daily basis? I do hope that this all works out best for the children in the end, because they are the ones who suffer the most in the end.

It is harder to find a job with a felony conviction on your record, but not impossible.

 

If you are being treated that badly by a state agency that is supposed to help you find a job, then look elsewhere.

 

A friend of mine had a similar problem and struggled to find a job for a long time. His solution? He signed up with a few temp agencies. That got him work, it was only a few weeks in one place or a few days in another, but it was income coming in and it showed people that although he made a mistake in the past, he was working hard to rebuild his life. In the times that there were no job contracts for him he'd make money mowing people's lawns, painting houses, and doing odd jobs here and there.

 

Long story short: He worked for a few weeks at an office on a temp contract and the people there were so impressed with his work ethic that they offered him a permanent job, knowing that he had that felony conviction. He's been there for three years now and going to college at night, but most importantly he is able to support himself and isn't a mooch.

 

A lot of times, looking for a job and getting it are more of a job than the normal 9 to 5 grind and sometimes it's a lot harder for some than for others, but you've got to do what you've got to do. In the end, it does pay off.

I have worked in education for a few years as a private tutor and it has been my experience that parents who are obsessed with their children being 'perfect' often have deep emotional issues with feelings of inadequacy, low self esteem or even obsession.

 

They often focus on their children and do everything that they can to make them 'perfect' so that they can feel that although they themselves aren't without flaws, they made this perfect person and that is a point of pride for them.

 

This, however, often backfires.

 

When the kids show they aren't perfect, the parents often push them hard to excell, sabotaging their own children's ability to suceed and feel good about themselves. Nothing the child does is ever good enough for them. If they got a B on a hard test, they are often berated on why they didn't get an A instead. If they try out for a school play and got a supporting role, parents will ask 'why didn't you get the lead?'

 

The kids often end up feeling like a 'wind up toy' or 'performing animal' (their words, not mine) and quickly get sick of it. This leads to them feeling bad about themselves, because they feel that the people that are supposed to be proud of them and love them unconditionally, think that they don't measure up and those types of feelings can last a life time.

 

My advice: cut these kids some slack, let them be kids and love them for who they are. Because that ensures happiness for everyone involved.

I wholeheartedly agree with you!

 

I know way too many grown men and women who are absolute brats who in turn often complain that their own children are brats and they claim to have no idea as to how they got that way!

I love the Dr. Phil show but after twenty minutes of watching this particular episode I had to change the channel.

 

Normally I'm not so judgemental but these twits dug themselves into this mess because they were just plain greedy and I don't think that they're going to change anytime soon. Both of them have declared bankruptcy twice and got themselves into the same type of mess all over again to begin with!

 

Meanwhile there are so many other people who are in debt because of medical bills, or because they were laid off and can't find another job that would kill to get some solid financial advice that these spoiled brats are just being handed.

 

I am a 23 year old university student and I can't begin to tell you how many of my peers (ages ranging from 18-25) are just like Heidi and Steve. All they do is spend, spend, spend to make themselves feel good for the moment and then when they get their credit card bill in the mail saying that they owe 10, 20 or even 30 thousand dollars (the honest truth people, I've seen them freak out over it more times than I can count), they go running to mommy and daddy to help them out of the hole that they dug themselves in, or if mom and dad can't help, declare bankruptcy only to go insane with the credit cards the moment that they're able to get them again.

 

It seems as if there's no epiphany of: "Gee, maybe I shouldn't spend more money than I have."

 

It pretty much makes me glad that I'm a bit of a penny pincher. I may not have the newest cell phone or most expensive clothes or cars, but I know that I don't have a penny of debt in my name and that to me is priceless.

When I saw this show the only thing that I could think of after the first five minutes was something that a friend told me once:

"How many times do you have to bang your head against a brick wall to figure out that it hurts?"

 

I think that statement is worth it's weight in gold in this case!

 

This man is an embarrassment!! He's not going to change either. Had I been in the wife's place I would have left after the first cheating episode, especially considering the fact that the children there know what is going on. I hope those little girls have another male role model in their life, a good one, and are taught to respect themselves and to expressly avoid men like their father.

 

Hubby isn't going to change, he didn't change the first time, nor the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, or eighth, so don't even bother to stay and try and normalize the situation for your kids, because in the long run it's just going to hurt them.

 

With certain individuals you just need to cut your losses and go.

 

 

Nowadays with all of the STDs around you'd think that people would be smart enough to practice safe sex from the get go.

 

Guys, never ever have sex with some girl without a condom.

 

If she says that she's infertile or on the pill, it doesn't matter. Always wear protection, pregnancy isn't the only thing you try and avoid using a condom. This will not only save your life, from diseases like HIV, AIDS and Hepatitis to name a few, but it will save you from problems down the road...like someone from the past coming back and asking you to take a paternity test.

 

Honestly, it takes two to tango and if you didn't have the forsight to wear a condom you have no one but yourself to blame for your problems. Same thing goes for the mothers in this situation too.

 

The only innocent parties here are the kids that are born into these situations. Not 'mommy' or 'daddy.'