User Mood
Happy
Message Emote 
|
February 8, 2006, 4:33 pm PST
I screwd up, what now?
Quote From: tnguyen80
I desperately need some good advice on the situation that I'm in. I was in a 3-year relationship with my ex-fiance, we ended the engagement 3 months before the wedding (last February) because we had a lot of issues and were constantly arguing. For the past year we've been doing our own thing, going out with friends, dating other people..etc.. About 2 months ago, I met a great guy at a nightclub and we've been seeing each other since. Our relationship was wonderful, we talked on the phone for 3 hours almost every night and never ran out of things to talk about, we laughed, we kissed, we've been intimate, and we had so much in common. About a month into it, we had The Talk and he asked me to be his girlfriend, which I happily agreed. However, this is when the problem started. Two weeks ago, my ex-fiance told me that he still loves me, he wants to work things out, and he wants me to give him 3 months so that we can go to counseling and get married. I was so torn between these 2 men. On one hand, I've my ex-fiance who I still care for very much (but the feeling isn't the same as it used to be), we were together for 3 years, he's a good guy, he's educated and has a good job, my family totally loves him, and in some ways I also wanted to know if we made the right decision to cancel the wedding. However, there were a lot of hurt feelings when we broke up and I'm still not over it. On the other hand, I've this great guy who I've such a great time with, we just had our talk about being boyfriend/girlfriend, and I was starting to fall in love with him. However, because this relationship is so new, I didn't know where it was going or if it would last. I was so confused and didn't know what to do.
I finally decided to end things with my new guy to work on things with my ex-fiance. My new guy was very angry and upset, he said that I'm not giving him a chance to love me, that I gave my ex-fiance 3 years while I only gave him 2 months, that I didn't care for him. I totally agreed with him, I was very unfair to him. I haven't been very happy since. I cried all the time because it was so hard to focus on my ex-fiance while I'm thinking about someone else. My ex-fiance and my family could see that I was unhappy. Two days ago, I couldn't handle it anymore and decided to end things for good with my ex-fiance. However, my new guy said that he's still very hurt and upset, and that this whole situation has affected our relationship deeply. We're sort of back together but it just doesn't feel the same. The past 2 days, I've been text-messaging him to apologize and to tell him how I feel about him. He would write back but doesn't initiate the conversation like he used to. He hasn't mentioned any plans for Valentine's Day or asked me out on a date. Yesterday was his day off so I text messaged him and asked if he wanted to meet for dinner. He said he has some stuff to do for work and then he was going to bed early. I don't know if he's really busy or if he's just avoiding me.
I know I screwed up a wonderful relationship with so much potential, but what should I do now? Should I not even contact him anymore and give him space, or should I keep letting him know that I'm here and I want to be with him? What can I do to win him back and to have the same fun, easy relationship that we used to have?
Boy did you ever! He's still in contact, even if you have to do all the work right now. Stay in contact, no pressure. If you don't get a romantic dinner or flowers on Valentine's day, send him 3 dozen roses and some chocolates. You're going to have to work hard to get his trust back. Actions speak louder than words, baby. If the shoe was on the other foot, what would you want from him. Ask a guy what to do, do you have a brother, trusted co-worker. Men know men, ask one. But for gawdsake be sincere!
|
