Messages By: cappy5102

Michelle, Unfortunately, I can totally relate to your anger.  As I was watching the show today, I felt like I was looking at a mirror image of myself and my own home life.  I too, had the same kind of childhood and mother, I too, have treated my kids the same way.  I have gotten it under more control, but I had to learn that on my own; and unfortunately the "patience" only comes in spurts and isn't consistant.   I cry myself to sleep every night praying to God to please make me a better mother.  It hasn't got to the point of my kids actually saying "I'm scared", but I can see it in their eyes everyday when I loose control.  So please know, that your not the only one out there that is carrying that ball of rage inside of you.  It's just so unfortunate that our children have to be part of the wrath of our own ugly pasts.  If you would like to talk sometime, just email me.  And don't let others that judge get to you, they can't possibly understand if they haven't walked in your shoes.  We don't like the fact that this is the way it is either, but at least there is some of us who can acknowledge the fact and get some help instead of continuing it and destroying our children forever.