Quote From: jaimie1974The netflix idea was a good one, if he does order movies, then you will have something to talk about when you visit. Another idea for you is this: in my experience, people truly love to talk about themselves. Ask her about herself, if she is going back to work, then ask her if she enjoys her job; ask to see pictures from vacation and while looking at them, ask them questions about them. Keep a positive, upbeat attitude while you are there, because it sounds like your dil is looking for anything to complain about; dont give her what she wants. Refuse to engage! You are feeling hurt and controlled, but what can you do? You need to prove yourself worthy to your dil. You can do it! Think about the end result: a healthy relationship with your precious grandchild, that is priceless. Make a decision to put the past in the past and move forward, you need to do this for your own sake. Dont think of doing it for your son or his wife, do this for YOU. Forgiveness feels better than you could ever imagine.
Unfortunatly, it is very hard at times to have a constant relationship with your grandchildren. It seems like the first time any of your children/in-laws, are upset with you for any crazy reason, it's the grandbabies that get taken away from your lives.
I have to say this though, it doesn't matter if YOU feel it was nothing for the baby to touch your hair (and yes, I agree it was no big deal, in fact a baby has to learn what things feel like), but if this is something big to your daughter in law, then you must oblige with her rules.
On the other hand, your children and in laws need to understand that as a Grandparent, it is our duty to spoil our grandchildren (or I'd like to think so, lol!) Sometimes as a Grandparent, we just have to shut our mouths and let things be, as hard as it is. We may think it's crazy and have strong opinions about it ourselves but if we don't do it, the alternative is not being able to be around our grandchildren.
If I were you, I'd have a heart to heart with your son, just you, your husband and him. Ask him, did We do such a bad job raising you that you feel I'll pass this on to your child? This will open doors but yet it will get everything out in the open, he may be hiding something that he has shared with his wife but not you. And of course, this could influence her as well. Plus, if you DID do a good job raising him, in his opinion, then he should respect the fact that you won't do any worse with his children. The other thing you could do it get out in the open all of their special "rules" as to raising their child. If you don't agree, you could say something like, "I don't think thats the smartest thing to do and this is why.....but bottom line is, this is your child and we will honor your requests" then drop it.
