Messages By: canuck_911
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December 9, 2005, 12:59 pm PST
 Quote From: jim1970 The funny thing is that by the time a girl gets it, it's too late for HER. She's so old, why bother?
I was once that nice guy. I was ALWAYS there when a girl needed me. What resulted? I was cheated on, lied to and worse.
Now I tell guys that women are like cars. Always get the one off the lot. No one wants the car with 150,000 miles. Same with women. Do you a want a woman who doesn't want to be touched because that reminds her of the guy who beat her up (the same guy she went back to five times?) or do you want that cute college student?
I truly feel that as women age, they want the nice guy because they've lost their beauty and can't be as manipulative. Nice guys are whimpy enough to fall for it because they're desparate. They're happy that anyone wants them-even if its an old maid.
I don't believe I'm exaggerating. American women are all the same. Foreign girls are your best bet because they aren't as taken by the illusion that they can have it all. They're not supposed to.
Sure, all the old women are going to respond negatively. But, remember girls, I was once at your feet and offered you a lifetime. You wanted to screw around and now that you've lost your polish, you come crawling for a life partner.
Isn't life funny? Men get better as we age. The same can't be said for the women who roared!
i am 23 years old and consider myself to be a "nice girl" yes i am the " cute college student" but i beleive that one doesnt have to go through divorce after divorce and have 5 children to say that they have life experience. i have been through enough in my few years on this earth that i would not want to wish it on my worst enemy and i have still come out with my chin held high. Unfortunately some woman must have done a number on you by the sound of your post. i would like to think that i "get it" and it has'nt taken 150,000 miles to figure it out. thanks to a few bad experiences i fear you have lost all faith in women and you are no longer a nice guy because of that. if being a nice guy makes you a desperate wimp than there arent enough desperate wimps out there. countless times i wrote everone off and said "i was once at your feet and you screwed me around, now look at you- lonely." but really was i any better? i became cynical because of what i thought was bad luck. while they were moving on i was left in the dust complaining. i used inapropriate analogies and had a bad outlook on all men in general thinking of them as nothing but a tool to get back at the last one with. but than realized it wasnt luck it was judgement. my judgement was imparing relationship sucess. the more pissed i got at the world the worse my luck became with men. dont punish every woman because of what many have done to you. one might just come along that has potential (and maybe not be foreign!-which is something i wont even got into) i thought the exact same way you did for a long time and still wondered what was wrong with me. the answer is not to use because you were used. because revenge is addictive and you will never be satisfied. take time alone, get yourself back on your feet and have a new outlook on things. it sucks trust me but youll be that nice guy again and youll have so much more to offer.
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December 10, 2005, 1:09 pm PST
Quote From: oceanblu I was betrayed by someone i grew up with since we was about 8years old. i'm now 24years old and a single mother. i found out that my so call friend at the time was sleeping with my soon to be daughter father. what so disrespectful about the whole thing is that i had to find out by calling a cell phone i thought was his only to her her voice on the voice -mail. just when i thought things was picking up between us they both betrayed me.i later confronted him about it and of cause like a man he deined the whole thing and she moved to her mom house so i never spoke to her about it until i was about 4months preganant and my other friends was telling her about my baby shower and she knew she wasn't ninvitied. so she finally got the balls to come to my house 2am and wan't to tell her side. of cause she blaming him and he's blaming her. i then knew the type of people i was dealing with and i knew either one of them care anything about my feelings.so i keep them both on a short leash. we're friends again and i put it all in god hand. even though i feel some kind of betrayal when i'm around both of them. how can i fix that feeling something similar happened to me not long ago. i was in a bad relationship with marc for a few months and had to get out but had no where to go. A friend from work said that she had a room to rent and i was welcome to it. i packed my things while he was at work and i was gone. after a few months of living in cindys apartment he and i started to be able to be friends and put the past in the past and agreed that maybe we were better friends but he still told me he had feelings for me. I was seeing someone new and was having a few problems there and marc was there with a bottle of wine and chocolate to make me feel better and to talk to me about this new relationship. Cindy and marc were huge support for me and talked to me about my options. that same night that marc came over to make me feel better, they both wanted me to go out and get my mind off things so i agreed and went out with them exepecting a fun night at the bar with friends. that night cindy and marc decided to go home together and leave me at the bar without a ride home and not even a goodbye- all of a sudden they were both gone. i was 20 miles away from home with no money and no coat as it was in the back of his car that we took to the bar. i had to hike 20 miles all the way home in november with no coat with my roomate and my X boyfriend getting it on in his apt. (wich was once our apt) i never forgave either of them for kicking me when i was down. i moved out as soon as i could and never spoke to him again and when she came home the next morning it was not a pretty scene to say the least... you are more than entitled to feel betrayed. that was a very low thing they did to you. neither of them have a right to blame anyone except themselves. not one of them care about your feelings they are self absorbed in themselves and couldnt bother to take 2 mins and consider your feelings. i dont know the story about your babys dad and why you arent together but it sounds like youve been through alot what ever the story is. confront them, dont hold any feelings back, after all they obviously didnt hold anything back when it came to hooking up so why should you censor yourself for the sake of their feelings. i wouldnt keep them on a leash at all, id let both of them go. unfortunately you cant fix the feeling of betrayal, its one of the worst feelings ever. the only thing that helped me through my hard time with marc and cindy was starting fresh and putting BOTH of them in my past. as long as they are both in your lives the feeling will always hang around. there are plenty of girls out there who would never do anything to hurt you and value your freindship and there are guys out there who will love you and respect you. these people who did this to you are not the last people alive that will be your friends and you owe them absolutely nothing.
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