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Messages By: varanesec

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August 2, 2007, 10:35 pm CDT

Living in fear in the USA.

What started as a act of love of animals has turned into a daily nightmare. I started feeding one cat about six years ago for at least four of them I thought it was a male then she started to have kittens. Before long more cats showed up I used to look forward to it now it's like a job and a big expense but I still care very much about them. These cats are out side most of them are very lovable I had 10 spaded or neurted this year they don't bother any one . They eat then go sleep in the bushes. I have a neighbor who has been bullying me for years. He's in his thirties weighs around 400 hundred pounds and has a vicious pit bull. I'm 5'1" weigh about 115 pounds and live in severe chronic pain from a automobile accident. He and his Father have a terrible alcohol problem. On May 3rd. 2007 after drinking all day he walked his unleashed pit bull (leash law in Massachuetts) to kill the cats after the second time I called the police. Many years ago I had to go to the police station and get a permit to carry mace he was the reason. This Bully calls me the C word B word DB and many others in the presence of many small children boys and girls ages 2yrs. to 21yrs. old. When I asked the police about the verbal abuse the officer told me that he can call me any thing he wants it' called freedom of speech. I disagree. I asked about getting a restraining order the officer told me I couldn't the landlord had to I disgree. My pain level became so bad that I had to be hospitilized for 3 days in May. I went out and bought 2 color security cameras and placed them in plain sight in my 2 front windows. They knew they were there they asked my nephew who lives here why your aunt got those cameras. Knowing the cameras are there on June 30,2007 around 11:30am the Father who is 55 yrs. old out side on his porch in broad daylight pulled down his shorts and exposed himself to me I was mortified still am. Called the police insisted they arrest him todays Aug.2,07 they still haven't I don't get it. I received a summons to appear in court on Aug.14,07. I called several lawyers for a consultation Iwould like to know why he wasn't arrested, what to expect at court, what are my rights. Three out of four didn't take that kind of case referred me to a lawyer who would only talk to me over the phone and told me to call him if I didn't like the results after I go to court . I live in constant fear afraid to leave my house afraid to feed the cats I do not leave my house with out my mace even in my house I need it in my sight at all times I take it in the shower. Nobody should have to live in such fear. I have trouble eating, sleeping, I can barely function. I need HELP any one please I will greatly appreciate any and all advise or help with this problem. I am so scared i'm worried I might not make it to Aug.14,2007.       Good Night Friends,
 
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August 14, 2007, 8:04 pm CDT

Amazing Grace:

I believe there is hope she has a chance she's all ready getting help she made it to the Dr. Dhil Show. I am a victim of incest my brother for years it was around 53 years ago. I never told anyone you were to scared you didn't talk about it. My mother or sisters never talked about sex or what was or wasn't inappropriate.Grace most be a real strong little girl and her parents are there for her. I'm still bothered by my past I was never able to get the help you need. I think at 56 it will be with me till I die. I think of it all the time it's horrible affects your whole life. My heart aches for Grace it's a cruel world out there no one is safe from sexual abuse it's very scary. Today parents talk openly with their children and it still happens. The man who should be protecting her is the abuser. Unfortunately there is no justice in this world.
 
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August 14, 2007, 8:34 pm CDT

Saving Grace;

Quote From: momswalk

This is the first time I've posted on here, so I hope I clicked the correct thing. I am just responding to the person that was sort of empathizing with the grandpa.

 

Can't you see through the lies??? He hasn't "humbled" himself at all! Can't you tell that everyone, including the parents, are in disguises to protect their identity? Can't you see that the beard on grandpas face is fake, and he definitely has a taupe on?

I can completely understand why the parents did it, of course to protect their daughter. And I'm sure the grandparents did it to protect their own identity. Now THAT's a cop-out!

 

 However, I am a FIRM believer that if you are convicted of ANY type of sexual abuse, on an child or adult, you should have to have a huge sign in your front yard, a special license plate, and be tattooed on your forehead. In the state I live it DUI offenders are already having to drive around with a special license plate-why not child molesters.

 

IF the grandpa was truly "humble" he would "humble" himself enough to know that he has effected the quality and dynamics of his granddaughters relationships-sexual or not- for the REST OF HER LIFE!! This was NOT a one time boo-boo in her life that will heal quickly. A one time moment of pleasure for dear ol' grandpa, but this poor child will relive that event over and over and over for eternity. And not only will she live the event over, she will replay the questions of "why didn't grandma protect me" for the rest of time as well.

 

If I go shoot someone and kill them, then serve my time, when I get out do I just go up to the parents or family of the person I killed and say, "oh, I'm so sorry-lets all go to Easter dinner next month, then I'll come over to your house for 4th of July?" NO!! that's ludicrous! No matter how much I humble myself, I would never be forgiven, let alone asked to join them for a get-together.

 

The only reasons grandpa is on the show is to make everyone think he has good intentions, he wants everyone to think he's rehabilitated and, of course, for the free counseling from Dr. Phil.

 

For the grandparents to even ASK to see the child again just shows that they DO NOT have her best interests at heart. What do you think this child would think of her parents??????? "hmmm.....grandpa did this to me, and grandma covered it up, but mommy and daddy want me to be around him again?" WHAT?!?!?!?! Talk about setting her up for failure in suture relationships.....no amount of counseling for the grandparents could EVER erase what was done to Grace.

 

oh boy, I have so much more to say-but I'll stop there......

 

Thank You for your reply it made me feel better. Your absolutely right and it feels so good to hear some one else validate your feelings. At fifty six it did affect my love life still is so not fair. I hope Grace gets the help she needs and is able to handle it better than I do.
 
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October 2, 2008, 8:13 pm CDT

overstressed/burntout/crisped

I can't do it I'm so stressed so tried in so much pain typing with one hand I have logged in many times spent hours thinking what I'm going to say then chicken out Sorry.
 
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October 20, 2008, 8:50 pm CDT

Afraid of my own shadow.

I spent the whole day Monday October 20,08 9:am-4pm sitting in court for a sexual abuse indecent exposure complaint I'm shocked he walked away not guilty to both charges this is why this happens because they get away with it not only did I witness it with my own eyes but I had it on tape not good quality  but the cameras were to take pictures of some one threatening to kill some out side cats that I've been feeding for 5 or 6 years. I have been diagnosised with post-traumatic stress, chronic fatigue syndrome, advanced fibromyalgia, epstein-barr virus and reflex sympathetic dystrophy all debilitating stress related illnesses. This Family has been bullying and threatening me for years I was in such fear of my life after a confrontation in April that I had to move which has not been easy because of my health and the cats that I've been caring for. I don't know what to do I can't take them with me for so many reasons the top two are  physically and financially I can't do it any more.

I'm so exhusted I landed in the hospital several weeks ago the 1st or 2nd box I picked up and  I thought I was having a stroke so did the Dr. in the emergency room I lost the feeling on my whole left side especially my hand and arm I still can't use it which has really hindered my moving. I have lived for years in fear that makes me sick to the point I can't eat. I have been afraid to leave my house I have lived like a prisoner for years. If I make it out of here I will need to learn how to live again most days it doesn"t seem possible but I won't give up I refuse to quit. There is absolutely no help out there for older women in crisis in Massachuetts I know I've been looking for years. Every one who lives in America should be able to feel safe in his or her home I don't I haven't in years I truly am afraid of my own shadow. Not long ago in either New York or Conneticut some one died in the middle of the street and people stepped over him no one stopped to help a police officer happened to see him and stopped. That's what wrong with the world to day nobody cares.

 
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October 21, 2008, 9:20 pm CDT

The Unknown

Dear Dr. Phil I suffer from post tramatic Stress,  chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia and reflex sympathetic dystropy. For the last 10 years I have had one stressful event after another infact I think I'm just numb. I was very surprized to see how Kathleen deals with her fears. I deal completely the oppisite I live in fear from an abusive childhood, marriage and mean  greedy people. I'm not afraid of getting sick or having a heart attack actually I look forward to it happening in my case it's the only way out of my missery. My medical problems  are from a car accident I was hit by a trailer truck sitting at a red light I live in chronic pain it never lets up it's like a rat gnawing at you body it's been 16 years right now it's worst then it's ever been. In 2001 I was diagnosised with melonoma in my upper left arm foolish me I thought it was a guaranteed death sentence I sat in church that week and thanked my God for soon I would be with him. Two months ago I had to have my neck and back biopsyed and when they came back negitive I was upset I have felt so awful I thought for sure it was back I have been told chances are I will get it again. Now on top of the pain the stress  from the guilt is horrific. I  don't stop all day I feel like a kid with ADHD I'm so exhusted but I don't stop so laying in bed or on the couch is not and option for me I stay so busy doing some thing that I forget to be afraid as soon as I stop it's back. I can't eat I've lost 291/2 lbs which leaves me at 105lbs. I look absolutely awful. On top of that I am a hoarder but every thing is neatly foldered and stacked in piles on the bed sides of the bed floor closet . It's been at least 5 years since I slept in my bed I can't wait it's going to be like Christine and I haven't celerbrated Christmass in ten years. . My hoarding is all emotiona I get very angry knowing I allowed people to do this to me I blame myself. Dr. Phil I have 4 storage units one for 16 years this has to stop. I closed on a house in June I have been there every day packing I hurt  my neck back and left arm so bad I was hospitalized for 3 days still having trouble using it . It's been 4 months and I've just put a dent in it I had no idea it was going to be this hard I'm starting to think I'm not going to make it out. This move is done in total fear I have no idea what I'm doing I'm moving all the stuff from one place to another I don't want to do that but I have to get for many reasons. Their are people who need me and I can't be there for them. Kathleen doesn't know how lucky she is to have a husband, children and best friend standing by her I would be praising my God being alone is very scary. I just drag my self through the day and when it's done I dread looking forward to another. Please help I can feel my body breaking down it won't take much to put my self right out of commission.  I'm Looking for a angel actually I need a couple. In the name of Jesus Pleas Help, Thank You

 

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