Messages By: wizardatm

Well... I hear what you are saying in respect to online dating services... but I've only tried Match and Yahoo, so I can't speak for any others.  But I can tell you that you don't need to go to an online dating service to get hooked up with a frootcake... actually my experience is just the opposite. 

When I posted my profile on the Match and Yahoo, I was quite specific about WHO I AM and whom I was looking for. Regardless of that I was deluged with winks and missives from so many women, and as it turned out... I finally realized that there are a significant number of lonely unhappy women (and men for that matter) out there.  I was not looking for anyone to complete me or to make me happy cuz that just ain't gonna happen.  No one can make you complete, and no one can make you happy.. that's YOUR job, and until you get that figured out, you are fair game to the con artists and others out there who are looking for you to complete them or make them happy. 

So rather than wasting your life and your happiness because you're afraid you're going to get taken advantage of,  I suggest a fair number of women and men out there should perform a little life saving exercise and take the time to write down "exactly" who you are... what turns your crank, what doesn't... what qualities are intrinsic to you... you're not about to change at this stage of the game and neither is your potential mate... that has always proven to be an exercise in futility.  Go DEEP... forget what they look like... forget the superficial crap that we are inundated on a daily basis.  Pretend you are BLIND... and think about what really matters to you... never mind what career the person has, or how much money they have or don't have, look to discover who the person is, look for someone who took the time to lay it all out and significantly cut your chances of being led astray or disappointed because you gave your heart away to someone who wasn't who he or she purported to be. Cash is great to have, but it isn't the goal, it's simply a tool which you can use to sustain your comfort level, and its your comfort level that you seek... money can come later.  

Do your best to not get caught in the trap of superficial bullshit... who really cares what the rest of the planet thinks about how much "stuff" you've acquired... you can't take stuff with you, and things only provide distractions from the essence of life anyway, just ask anyone who has lost someone dearly close to them... the money means nothing because money cannot replace what they just lost. 

What I am saying is this... don't blame the online services, blame yourself for NOT being yourself and blame yourself for not seeking the type of person who is on the same channel as you... opposites may attract and can make for some lively times, but I don't think those types of relationships have the fundamental foundation from which to build on.  Only YOU have the answer to YOUR happiness and YOUR fulfillment... you just have to dig down a little deeper than you've done in the past.  The answer is inside you.