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Messages By: dbachelor

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December 11, 2005, 7:14 am PST

Or, as the saying goes...

Quote From: golden1

     Here, here! It seems that once you hit 30 (or more accurately, IT hits YOU!), you're supposed to grateful for whatever comes your way. Just bite your lip, smile and scrape the bottom of the barrel.  You know something? You may have just presented an idea for a show featuring single women over 40 and looking for love. That might get ME on the show.
Men age like wine, while women age like milk.

 
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December 11, 2005, 7:31 am PST

So?

Quote From: groovy

I think older men go for the younger women for the same reason they read Playboy or Maxum & it's not b/c the younger women are looking up to them & respecting their wisdom.  It's true many of us over 40 look & act quite youthful BUT when doing online dating, we won't even come up on the search of most guys our age (unless we're lying about our age which presents an integrity issue).  Their searches end at age 39 & most of them don't want to date anyone who was in high school at the same time they were. 

I don't read Playboy or Maxim, but what's wrong with guys wanting what they/we want?  Is choice only for women?

I mean, all you gals take it for granted that a very short man (or one without a job) is absolutely and irrevocably undesirable, so what's wrong with men having their preferences also?  Why are we "shallow", whereas you're just being sensible and reasonable?
 
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December 11, 2005, 7:48 am PST

And the answer is...

Quote From: sad5999

  

I feel like you've been all the dates I've had.  I wonder where the men are with manners? Anyone answer that?? 

  

Sherry 

You know, it's wierd, but a lot of us guys have a hard time stomaching the idea of some Great American Man Shortage.  Why?  Because us great american men don't experience being in any sort of demand.

The way I put it is I've got it all - looks, brains, personality, education, upbringing, money, time, etc. (yea, you'll have to trust me on this) - and I've been walking around unchaperoned my entire adult  life and have NEVER had a woman come up and talk to me to see if I'm single/available, etc.  So far as I'm concerned it wouldn't be any different if I was totally invisible.   In other words, you gals aren't doing your share of the shitwork.  In fact, you're not doing anything so far as I can see except griping and clinging ever tighter to your silly Cinderella complexes.

Where do you all get your sense of entitlement, which is so very evident?

 
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December 11, 2005, 8:11 am PST

yea, we get it alright

Quote From: wespauley

I personally don't chase after women half my age because I don't have a need to prove my manliness to myself or others, but there are some very good reasons I would consider a younger woman. For one thing, they haven't spent a lifetime being miserable and developing a very hostile attitude towards men (yet). They are still curious enough about sex to be interested. They still know how to have fun,  they whine less, are less judgemental, and don't spend as much time looking for faults. In short, they are willing to give a guy at least half a chance.
I think those rather hostile responses just proved your point, wes.

My contention has always been that so long as we (guys) have to do the asking/paying/etc. then we get to choose who we ask out and pay for.  When women start asking and paying then they get to choose.  It's as simple as that.  In the meantime, women just sorta look silly griping about "no good men".  All it does is point to their misplaced sense of entitlement and their own undesirability.  And it keeps reminding me of the Yogi Berra-ism: "if people aren't coming to the ballpark, how ya gonna stop `em?"

 
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December 11, 2005, 8:44 am PST

Good Point

Quote From: lilfran

I watched the show with interest, and there was one thing you didn't mention to the beauty queen who was 37 and still unmarried. Isn't it time she quit keeping her awards, crown, etc. in the living room for all to see?Maybe if she didn't mention that aspect of her "resume," the fellows would not either be intimidated, or interested in her only as a trophy date! 

Many years ago, my cousin, an RCAF pilot, was waiting for his girl friend in her living room. Seeing a fat velvet-covered album on the shelf, he looked at it and found it full of medals. Included was a silver diving medal in the Olympics! When asked why she hadn't mentioned it, she said she wanted people to be interested in her, not her medals. I thought that was a wise attitude. 

Yea, I thought that was weird too, like being a beauty queen once way-back-when was supposed to carry some lifetime privileges with it that one cashes in just by flashing the bling.  Sheesh, I have medals from the state high school track meet, but they've been in a box somewhere since I went off to college.  So I don't think  that old standby "intimidation" is the issue.  Maybe guys are just weirded out that she's still about in the same place mentally as she was a dozen years earlier and have no interest in playing along.  Plus there's the fact that beauty queens aren't as good-looking as they think; I would guess that really being hot/sexy/pretty/beautiful would be a detriment to doing well in the pagents, but that's perhaps another issue; but for the fellows it means they have to treat her at some level which is beyond her actual value.

The question for her should have been why she didn't snag some guy when she was at the top of her beauty power.  I have a hard time believing she didn't have many many opportunities and just blew it when she had the chance(s).  Another case of karma coming back around...
 
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December 11, 2005, 9:49 am PST

Or Dog

Quote From: blueangel777

NO KIDS!!! 

 

BLUEANGEL777 

That was sort of like the standard advice to get a dog so you can meet guys when you take it for a walk, which if you flip it around suggests a guy should get a dog so he can take it for a walk and meet women (yada yada yada) -- but what if you really don't like dogs?  Cats aren't very good on a leash.
 
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December 11, 2005, 9:59 am PST

OK, so where are you all hanging out?

Quote From: kleesun

Wait a minute--where are all these men?  Outside of the dreaded bar scene it seems like everywhere I go there are zillions more WOMEN, or slightly older men who are there with women.  I don't even have especially "girly" habits; it's not like I'm trying to meet people at the quilting bee. 

  

Where the heck do you go to find promising 20/30-something men if you're no longer in school and have zero interest in casual sex? 

  

I know enough single women who, seriously, are not going to write you off on the basis of looks, height, or, within reason, wallet (that is, you don't have to be rich, just responsible).   

 -because everywhere I can think of going there are ZERO available women and zillions of single men; and it's not auto-mechanics course.

Forget the man shortage, there's a serious woman shortage.  Census figures back me up, too.
 
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December 11, 2005, 10:12 am PST

OK, I'll bite

Quote From: kaayla

You can't weed out the "bad boys" from the keepers if you can't find the keepers.  Where do you meet the handsome, successful gentlemen - especially if you're over 50?   Unless you're willing to move, it seems impossible!  And I don't want a man who says "Dr. Phil?  What does he know?".  I want someone who thinks the show is worth watching.  I have dated so many guys who refuse to watch the show.  I'm convinced these men have security issues.  They close the door on even talking about relationships.  I want a man who is willing to talk about the topics that Dr. Phil covers.
 I don't watch the show, I "monitor" it (like I monitor Fox News occasionally).  The whole thing is so slanted to appeal to a female audience that it's ridiculous.  I can't believe you're so easily seduced by Dr Phil's utter nonsense.  So why does my opinion point to "security issues"?  To each his own, right?

> "They close the door on even talking about relationships."
This would be sort of like me complaining about women "closing the door on even talking about sex."
See: http://science.martianbachelor.com/OpenUp.html

 
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December 11, 2005, 10:33 am PST

You've got to be kidding.

Quote From: niagara

You've been going to the wrong shoe shine.  But if you've never been, and your footwear is a mess, you're making a poor first impression because research says it is one of the first things people observe.  If nothing else, you come away with a new experience to talk about, and with good looking footwear to improve your chances of making a great first impression in the workplace or the social arena.  Try saying to another customer that it is your first time --- this should open up conversation.   Then ask if this a ritual, and where he works, etc.  But if his head is in the paper, read the signs. 

  

Above all, stop the negativity, and stop looking for fault, otherwise you may never experience positive change. 

  

  

  

 What "reasearch"?  From the shoe industry?
I seriously doubt having on the right shoes is the sure path to happily-ever-after-land.
I mean, look at Emelda Marcos (sp?) or shoe-fetish Carrie on Sex in the City...
 
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December 11, 2005, 10:40 am PST

Right

Quote From: rhwalker

Tommy if they made a series about (the equivalent of Desparate Housewives) would be called Desparate Pigs....Not that we are pigs, just proceivied that way.
You and rockstarxx are making some excellent observations.  A single man beyond some age around 35 is viewed as being pathological (he's gay, can't commit, refuses to "grow up", is hopelessy attached to his mother, etc, etc) while an exactly equivalent woman is merely  "picky" -- which is really a compliment because we all know the opposite of picky is "easy".

This sexist double standard is the worst one out there IMO.

So much for it being a man's world.


 

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