well, i "adopted" a baby from the hospital (she was 2 days old). we were making our life together and then - BAM - outta the blue, the adoption agency called and said we may have a problem. a man had registered on the registry at 28 days (this was in indiana and he had 30 days in which to register). well, through a variety of circumstances, i found out who he was, met him and KNEW instantly he was "my" daughter's father. (he and the birth mother were never married and i believe this was her 7th child - the first 3 her mother had custody of, the next one aborted, the next one adopted out, another abortion, and then "mine".)
he was not a convicted felon or child molestor and i knew he would get her back eventually. my atty told me he could drag this on for years, but i said i couldn't be one of those people handing over a screaming 4 y/o on TV. i initiated visits with him, even though he didn't know much about raising a baby. he was her father and i went into adoption with the mindset that a child belongs to the parents as long as they are willing and able to care for the child. he was willing and had his mother for the ability part.
during the paternity court hearing, i had my atty read a letter to the judge in which i voluntarily relinquished custody of this FIVE AND A HALF MONTH OLD (5 1/2 month) precious baby. she was young enough to still go to anyone and that was the right thing to do. it was the hardest thing i had ever done and it was like a death to me to give her up.
i have now (with current hubby) adopted a child that is exactly the age of "my" daughter - he is 2 weeks older. it is very strange. i think of her often and wonder how she is doing. and, by the way, i am white, the baby girl was black (as were both of her birth parents). i commended him for wanting to do the right thing. so many "fathers" in this day and age just want to run from responsibility. i miss her every day..........
i wasn't thrilled, but the registry worked in this case..................
