Messages By: cinjer

Quote From: kabinnd

I believe that everything that is transpiring in this home is all symptomatic of HUGE problems.  These are the kinds of things that nobody wants to face, and specifically speak out about, namely because of the threat of criticism or judgement.  Thus, when bottled up inside for years, comes out as symptoms that we are hearing about now.  I truly home that Dr. Phil can help these people talk about what is really hurting them, whether past or present hurts, so they can move past this, either together or alone, to find a much happier way to live their lives.  What is going on in this family is no different than if the issue were alcoholism or drugs which is a more visible problem, but the results are the same when it comes to creating dysfunctional families.  My best wishes to all of them, and I know that Dr. Phil can help if they are willing to say honestly what is in their hearts and not allow others to affect what they feel, and their ability to say it out loud.

Quote From: bin555

actually, there are 262,280 hours in 30 years

 

30 x 365 = 10,950

10,950 x 24 = 262,280

 

He had time   lol

Quote From: tintin1

I really don't think anyone knows how they will react to a situation until it actually happens to them.  I always said that I would leave in an instant if my husband ever cheated on me.  I also said that he never would cheat.  Well, he did.  With my best friend. For almsot a year.  I saw a few signs, but I didn't want to believe it of either of them.  He finally came and told me.  He truly wanted to save our marriage and he knew he had to come clean.  She wanted to keep it a big secret and I basically forced her to tell her husband.  All 4 of reacted in very different ways to what was going on.  I haven't seen or spoken to her in several years, her husband who continued to be my friend, forgave my husband and his wife (they did divorce and he has since died at the age of 43)  They would have divorced regardless of the affair.  My husband and I have worked very hard the past 5 years to save and repair our marriage.  It is still a struggle sometimes, but we had 17 good  years before the affair and we've had some wonderful times since.  We've also had some very painful times.  Even though I would never want to go through something like this again, the affair forced us to look at our marriage alot more honestly than we had been for some time and to "get real" about it.  Weird as it may sound, in some ways it was a blessing as it did make us sit up and take notice.  I am sad that I don't have my best friend and I am very careful about who I get close to!  My husband and I can talk about it without too much pain anymore (and it is painful for everyone involved), there are certain times of the year, songs, all sorts of things that bring back memories.  I will tell you however, my husband knows that if it ever happens again I am so gone he won't know what hit him!  He will also have to deal with his parents and our adult children knowing.  (My parents and our sisters all know about this)