Messages By: afraid

What about forgiveness like you mentioned ????? You just contradicted yourself LOL  And at what point do you throw in the towel ?  When they cheat ? or when you suspect they cheat ?  I don't recall Dr Phil telling us to throw in the towel, quite the opposite,  he offered premarital counseling for us. Something we are doing.    

Melanie  

What about forgiveness like you mentioned ????? You just contradicted yourself LOL  And at what point do you throw in the towel ?  When they cheat ? or when you suspect they cheat ?  I don't recall Dr Phil telling us to throw in the towel, quite the opposite,  he offered premarital counseling for us. Something we are doing.    

Melanie  

I know I cannot expect my bf to forgive me if I cannot forgive myself... which is hard, because I don't know how I will ever do that... 

You have a sick child and a lot on your plate.  You should start counseling NOW.  There a usually some low cost or free counseling services in most areas.  Make it a point to find it.   

You can't always leave as soon as you find out about these things but you can start planning.   

This is assuming that your fiance is the father of your child otherwise go after the father for support. 

Go to the county child support division and determine how much support you can get.  Make sure you have a well running car and it is paid off.  Pay off any debts in your name while you still have access to your fiance's income.  Since your not married use his credit cards rather then the ones in your name.  Also pay in advanced things like insurance and utilities incase he choices to move out.  Get copies of your fiance's birth certificate, social security number, list of employers address and phones, bank accounts, and other assets.   

Go back to school or training if you are currently not working so you can get a good job once you are on your own.  If you have family or other support people out of the area consider moving there prior to being in court over visitation and custody.  It will be harder to move once those things are in place. 

If you own the house you live in then don't move out unless you have saftey issues. 

Melanie is clearly sick and has some serious mental health issues.  She is in no position to have a healthy relationship with anyone.  She appears to want to prove that no one could be faithful to her.  She is working very hard to prove her theory. 

Mike seems to enjoy Melanie desire to watch his every move.  Otherwise why would he be with this woman.  Maybe he has some twisted idea that this is what love feels like.  Maybe he feels having a woman keeps him in check is necessary.   

Either way these two should be in therapy because lord know if they break up they will just inflict these problems on someone else.