Messages By: hawaiifurelise

tammy

stay strong , work on you and the children.. I hope that your husband works on himself, you can't help there. Also find a support group. It really helps. remember it's all about you and the children.the stronger you get the better off you all are.

good luck with the marriage I really hope it works out the way you want it.

aloha

my husband and i have been married 26 years and counting. I got married at 18 a week out of high school he was 23. we have found over the years that we needed to come to an understanding with each and every person in our lives. we appreciate there support through some hard times, but we had to draw the line at them getting involved. it was not easy to say end discussion or i will leave but we have done it. maybe if the families on your show showed their mother in laws that if they discussed family issues or said inappropriate comments they would loss their company, no yelling, no reasoning, just  pack up and go ,thank you see you again soon bye. everyone would get the point. (i did tell my mom i would leave if certain things were discussed) it took awhile to work, but it bin years since, and it has given us all a better relationship with each other and there's a lot less drama in all our lives.

i have been through bad times in my marriage that i thought i would never get over. i knew  that line had been crossed. drugs, lies oh i was never going to be able to trust him agian, and i had a 12 year old turning 13. no no more i dug in and started a divorce. my husband had everyone fooled it was me that had spent all the money and was causing the problems.  but don't mess with mom's we protect our young. i paid for a hair folicle test my husband made me pay for one for me to. I was clean and he was not i did my homework and he failed. he then admitted his problem and stayed clean. he has been clean for over 12 years and has a job that does random drug testing which helps me. 

the road to the marriage recovery was not an easy one on either of us but i think it was harder on him. we both think it has been worth it but i think it's been the last 2-3 years that we finally got to a good spot. thats a long time of trust issues and watching our step so we don't get hurt again or i should say it was mainly on my side. he's a good man.

 

but how much can you forgive because .................forgetting may not be possible.

and you can not use it in a fight or you will continue to hurt you self.

trusting has taken me a good 10 years and i had the min. yearly drug test as my life vest.

 

good luck what ever you decide