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Messages By: lovingone

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May 24, 2008, 2:27 am PDT

DD here

Quote From: ramair

I've got no problem finding reasonably-priced bottoms that fit. A small usually fits fine. But, the tops are  another story. Most, even in extra-large, are made for B-cup breasts. Come on, swimsiut manufacturers. And, make some D-cup tops that don't cost an arm-and-a-leg. I shouldn't have to pay through the nose to cover my boobs.
..... and I have worked in fashion retail for a long time.   The price hike for larger sizes is due to the increased amount of fabric used versus the smaller sizes.
 
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August 20, 2008, 11:53 pm PDT

Really think for minute here

Quote From: ll071305

I have known this guy for 8 yrs and we have been seeing each other on and off during that time. He will never give me a commitment and he only sticks around for a month or two at a time. He says he's interested and that I have a shot with him but he doesn't act like it. He will disappear for a few months and then send me a text msg asking me out. We are both 35 and I know I am just wasting my time on him. This time around I told him he better not be playing games and he didn't respond to that. I just don't understand his intent. If he really didn't like me then he wouldn't keep coming back. There is something that makes him keep coming back but it certainly isn't a commitment. How should I handle this?

 

Any help would be appreciated!

 

Thanks!

Has it ever occured to you that the "something" that makes him keep coming back is that you will be there waiting on the other end of the phone line?

 

You are a special person who deserves someone who keeps coming back to you.... but that means come home to you every night,  not pit stops and lay overs.

 

Why not let him sit at home alone for a change?  Get a restraining order if you have to.

 

 

 
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August 21, 2008, 12:14 am PDT

What the h--- is going on here?

Quote From: pregx2

My BF and I have been together a year. We actually dated 11 years ago, but long story short, it didn't work out then because he was asking me to give him the son he always wanted and I wasn't ready for more children ontop of the two I already had at 24.   He has two grown daughters (with children of their own) and a 7 year old son.  And the boy is THEE SACRED SON.   He and I discussed the possibility of our getting pregnant. I informed him immediately that I was not on BC of any sort.   He always said he didn't want another, but if it happened, we would do it right.  And when my job moved closer to his, he would say things like, "You're definately going to get pregnant now."   He was always saying things that suggested that his feelings about a pregnancy were very different from what he said.   Well, Here I am, 5 months pregnant with his TWIN boys, and our relationship has gone downhill from day one.  Ever since I told him I was pregnant, he has stopped calling me almost every day, if he calls me more than once or twice a week.  We only see each other 1 a week,  and I caught him sending a flirtatious email to another woman.   I told him then that if he didn't want to be with me then he needed to tell me now.  He said if he felt that way he wouldn't have bought me a ring (He bought me an inexpensive wedding set, but never actually asked me to marry him).   He has on numerous occasions asked me how MY babies were, and when he or his son's mother talk about the pregnancy to their son, they refer to the babies as MY babies, Not Daddy and My babies.  They lovingly and admirably co-parent their son in the way that parents who are not together should, however, I think they go too far and act like a couple, celebrating birthdays, and holidays, EVERY HOLIDAY, even Mother's and Father's day, together, just the three of them. To the point of traveling out of town together over night to celebrate holiday's at her family's home.  To me,  it suggests that they have not "emotionally divorced" each other.  I have always tried to view this as either his extreme admiration of her for giving him that son he waited so long for, and her enjoying that idea her fullest benefit, or that they were both just trying too hard to be perfect parents.

 

Cutting my long story very short here, Should I stay or leave?  Which is being the stronger woman, leaving him because of his actions and behavior towards me and the babies, or staying and sticking it out in hopes he'll come around?  What if, down the road, I discover that all my insecurities about this realtionship were just that, Insecurities? And I left him because of them, and then he won't come back(he's very stubborn that way).   What if I stay, and I discover all my insecurities were actually instinct?  My heart says to stay, and half of my mind does too, but the other half of my mind says, I'm weak, and I shouldn't be letting anyone treat me this way.   I don't know what to do.

Why don't you remind him how proud Payton and Eli Manning's narcesistic dad is of them winning Super Bowls in consecutive years.    In otherwords  a huge male ego should be able to accomodate multiple sons. In fact it should be begging for it.

 

Frankly I would have never seen this guy again after a relationship desolving over not wanting to give him a son.

 

I don't think there is anything you can do at this point.  The sons mother will always be "Madonna" for giving him that son and you will always be chopped liver.

 

But you might want to remind him that there is no guarentee that  his son will OUTLIVE HIM, and that maybe he should  welcome additional sons since they mean so much to him.   JUST DON't have a relationship with him.

 
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September 24, 2008, 10:23 am PDT

The bigger picture for Josh and Tim

I think a lot of the posters here are not taking into account the brother to brother dynamic of Josh and Tim when questioning Josh's self destructive behavior or his pressuring his brother to be a doner.....

 

I'm going to be REALLY honest here... I am female, and just taking a glance at Tim during one of those 30 second commercials for the show he was going to be on got my interest and made me watch this whole show!

 

Tim got everything. The looks, height, talent, athleticism, green eyes, and two healthy kidneys.   And Josh is only two years older than Tim.  They probably grew up doing everything together side by side, but I am assuming that long ago Tim was singled out as the "golden boy" by someone whether it was family or coaches or girls at school.

 

Even if Josh didn't hold any resentment against Tim for all he was persieved to have, there may have been an effect on his sense of self worth.  To the point where maybe Josh thought "Well whats the point if I do drugs or drink, I'm not "Tim".    I'm not going to have this huge future"

 

Now Josh is in a position where he needs something from the brother "who has it all" and Tim is reluctant to spare it.  

 

Josh could be even more humbled than he ever was when being in little league with Tim or competing for a girls attention.

 

Neither one of these men looked very happy at all on the show.   I personally think that Josh needs to see his self worth and get clean and sober so that he will be a good candidate for transplant no matter where he recieves a kidney from.   Everybody has assets and Josh just needs to find his.  

 
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September 25, 2008, 9:40 am PDT

you're right

Quote From: wolf39us

I am the man on the show, I have already gone for the snip and I am very happy about it!

 

why is it that I have to defend myself in every aspect?  Haven't you people ever heard of someone that "gasp" doesn't want kids???

 

OMG he's going AGAINST "the" lifescript!!!

 

I'm willing to bet that if I said I wanted children that everyone will congratulate me or give me a hoorah

soooo I am old enough to make a decision to HAVE children but oh no don't you dare NOT have children! that would be disastorous!

 

And to the people who talked about her oopsing me...I assure you I am quite on the path to beingi very much sterile, so I won't worry about it

 

My life goals are to see the world, become very successful and learn several languages...maybe work for the government someday....something most people don't do... you know, the ones that have to live paycheck to paycheck to support their children

 

I'm sorry but that just isn't the life for me!

no one who comes up with some kind of logic like people with kids are too tied down to do what they want to do and be sucessful SHOULD be having kids.  WOW!
 
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September 25, 2008, 9:55 am PDT

And by the way...

Quote From: wolf39us

I am the man on the show, I have already gone for the snip and I am very happy about it!

 

why is it that I have to defend myself in every aspect?  Haven't you people ever heard of someone that "gasp" doesn't want kids???

 

OMG he's going AGAINST "the" lifescript!!!

 

I'm willing to bet that if I said I wanted children that everyone will congratulate me or give me a hoorah

soooo I am old enough to make a decision to HAVE children but oh no don't you dare NOT have children! that would be disastorous!

 

And to the people who talked about her oopsing me...I assure you I am quite on the path to beingi very much sterile, so I won't worry about it

 

My life goals are to see the world, become very successful and learn several languages...maybe work for the government someday....something most people don't do... you know, the ones that have to live paycheck to paycheck to support their children

 

I'm sorry but that just isn't the life for me!

The problem with the anti children stance is that it seems like no one who believes in this EVER simply states ...

 

"  I am not prepared nor equiped to fit into my lifestyle the attention and work that is required to give a child the upbringing they deserve."

 

Rather it always comes out "kids are a drag, kids tie you down, kids are messy, kids are expensive,  KIDS ARE THE PROBLEM, I AM FINE"

 

So certainly when people who don't want kids give this type of additude they will be met with hostility because they make it sound like kids are evil for requiring proper care rather then just admitting they aren't up to the task of raising them.

 
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November 16, 2008, 10:09 am PST

A food addicts point of view...

Quote From: zuzubird

A lot of times when I see a really huge adult, I think that there may have been sex abuse in childhood.   I don't know if there's a connection there or not, but there could be.  In any case, a child who eats and eats and eats is probably compensating for unmet needs.  The parents need to educate themselves and then do what needs to be done to help the child.  (And it isn't only the mother's problem . . .)

You ARE on to something with your post... but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont think of the absolute sickest, most depraved thing you can think of ( sexual abuse) when looking at an obese person.

 

 

I am a food addict, I like to say food lover, and I always will be even though I am recovering.   I never got hugely big.   I am now a misses size 14-18 depending on the garment and am aiming to be a solid size 14.   

 

 Why not a size 6 you say?  Because I intend on continuing to enjoy my food, just more responsibly.  And not let people make me feel like a size 14 is a size 26.

 

Thats my definition of control. 

 

But I think people don't realize the physiological asspects of food addiction.  If someone quit smoking cold turkey they would likely get headaches or other physical symptoms.

 

And you don't even have to smoke to live!  You pick up the habit.

 

But everyone has to eat something, unless they are on a feeding tube.   So it can be tricky for an addict.

 

There would be times when I would have a splitting headache all day and tried to go to college and then to work at night.  I would take Advil every 4-6 hour and nothing would get better.  Till I broke down and ate somthing naughty at the end of the day and 10 minutes later the headache was gone.

 

Thats what people need to understand.  Having a headache or being nautious all day long and being expect to perform your daily tasks.

 

It took me a lot of taste testing diet foods, learning how to make them taste good,  transfering my craving to harmless things like diet soda,   learning how to make myself full on fewer calories, and other tricks to finally get the weight off.

 

A small child can barely tell their parent to take them to the restroom muchless say "mommy help me rearrange my physiology so I won't be dependent on the endorphines that eating gives me"

 

Give the parents a break!

 
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November 18, 2008, 6:47 am PST

Important

Quote From: lovingone

You ARE on to something with your post... but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE dont think of the absolute sickest, most depraved thing you can think of ( sexual abuse) when looking at an obese person.

 

 

I am a food addict, I like to say food lover, and I always will be even though I am recovering.   I never got hugely big.   I am now a misses size 14-18 depending on the garment and am aiming to be a solid size 14.   

 

 Why not a size 6 you say?  Because I intend on continuing to enjoy my food, just more responsibly.  And not let people make me feel like a size 14 is a size 26.

 

Thats my definition of control. 

 

But I think people don't realize the physiological asspects of food addiction.  If someone quit smoking cold turkey they would likely get headaches or other physical symptoms.

 

And you don't even have to smoke to live!  You pick up the habit.

 

But everyone has to eat something, unless they are on a feeding tube.   So it can be tricky for an addict.

 

There would be times when I would have a splitting headache all day and tried to go to college and then to work at night.  I would take Advil every 4-6 hour and nothing would get better.  Till I broke down and ate somthing naughty at the end of the day and 10 minutes later the headache was gone.

 

Thats what people need to understand.  Having a headache or being nautious all day long and being expect to perform your daily tasks.

 

It took me a lot of taste testing diet foods, learning how to make them taste good,  transfering my craving to harmless things like diet soda,   learning how to make myself full on fewer calories, and other tricks to finally get the weight off.

 

A small child can barely tell their parent to take them to the restroom muchless say "mommy help me rearrange my physiology so I won't be dependent on the endorphines that eating gives me"

 

Give the parents a break!

I thought it was important to bump this because I don't think anyone else addressed the painful phsysiological symptoms a food addict can suffer that make it so hard to chang.   Thank you.
 

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