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Messages By: fl4012

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December 22, 2005, 7:57 am PST

A LITTLE FEAR CAN BE A GOOD THING.

Quote From: tuffstuff

Just wanted to say thanks but no thanks. Corporal punishment or even the threat of it isn't an option for our family . A threat is a threat and if you truly want your children to live in fear of you when they have made a mistake then I guess that will be your option. Consistency is the key in our home. We all have to do what is right in our own families. I guess if the belt threat works for you then you'll do that. I'll have to stick to what we do. I do know there are a lot of other options out there. Good luck to you with 4 kids. Life will always have exciting moments for you.

  

You never have to take it as far as corporal punishment if your raising your kids right 

a little bit of fear and respect go hand in hand. 

  

 
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December 23, 2005, 6:31 am PST

parenting is "that hard"!!!

Quote From: lovinglady

I am sorry but I don't believe that fear has any place in a home or with my child. Respect is onething and that is something you earn from your children, by respecting them. It is not that hard. Sorry but I think that fear only leads to them hiding things from you in the long run.

  

That is exactly why kids today have no respect for their parents. They feel as if they should be treated as an equal. Bull crap, I don't need to earn my kids trust or respect. I brought them into this world. I don't care if they like it or lump it they can deal with it until they turn 18. Parenting is a job and it's not your job to be their friend until they are grown with children of their own. It might not seem like it at the moment but in the end they will thank you for your tough love. I know I thanked my parents. 

 
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December 23, 2005, 2:37 pm PST

not a bully just a mom

Quote From: lovinglady

I am sorry but the idea that parent must put fear in their children is ludicrious. I believe  that children are to be respected, how else are they going to learn what to expect from others? What you are talking about is bullying and I believe that children face that enough these days. I will not be the one that makes my child live in fear of me or in my home. Period.  

  

Children have no respect these days because parents don't show them respect. Trust me it worked will with every child in my family and I believe that it will continue to work. As to Tough love, be careful that doesn't just become tough. 

  

Lovinglady 

  

Did you hear Dr. Phil when he was talking about the saying"when the cat's away ,the mice will play?" what do you think that means? Children should know that you are watching and that if they do something wrong there will be a punishment. It couldn't be any more simple than that. They should fear that something will happen when they do something wrong because in the real world there is a reaction to every action they take. These children were misbehaving in front of their parents and that just proves my point. People don't go around breaking laws right in front of the police. Do they? oh' yes, people with no respect and do you know where that lack for respect started? At home. See you have it backwards, you dont give your child respect hoping they will return it. You make them earn your respect by behaving in a way that makes you proud. They fear what their own bad behavior will bring them, they don't fear the parent. I am not being a bully I am being real. I will always love my babies whatever happens but I will also make sure that I am sending them down the right path. 

  

 
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December 24, 2005, 6:16 am PST

BRAVO TO YOU ALSO!!!

Quote From: suesfive

...........................my hero.  But don't expect anything from this one.  All this discussion is most likely the most attention she's ever had in her life.  Anything of any substance that makes sense in the real world is far removed from her realm of reality.   

  

I love your perspective on the show though.  And I wish I had thought of the police anaolgy - bravo!  But again your good efforts fall on deaf ears - or blind eyes - loonylady that is. 

  

But maybe someone else will get the point. 

  

It is a little sad I had to resort to an anaolgy just to make my point, but I agree that anyone with that view point is apparently not living in the real world. I also agree with your reply about parents trying  to be a friend to their children. I am a  mom in my 20's and I have no desire to be my child's friend. 

they have enough "friends" what they need is a parent. You made a good point - BRAVO!!! 

 
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December 26, 2005, 9:40 am PST

12/26 "I Am Right!"

Quote From: hsiscool

Have you ever thought that maybe the homeschoolers don't know how to walk in a line because there most likely isn't 30 plus students in their classes/homes? They aren't a bunch of trained circus animals. I dont' know about your neck of the woods but out here the Museums love taking the homeschoolers because they are better behaved and actually interested in the fieldtrips and museums. There are over 4500 homeschoolers in my area and when there are get together I've noticed how well homeschoolers get along with kids of all ages. What's interesting though is that you can usually tell the puplic schoolers from the homeschoolers because the public schoolers will stick together and only play with kids their own age.  

  

I do agree with you on Dr. Phil and putting them into public school later. I personally don't see the need for it. I would rather send my children to junior college where their peers would be more mature and serious about education.  I have not been impressed at all with public schools and the way most kids from public school act. I pray my kids won't become like that. I hope they stay respectful and kind to others.  

  

Oh' yeah, junior college kids are so mature and serious about their education. 

Don't make me laugh.  I myself am not really impressed with the public schools either but I think more blame should be placed on the parents and less on the teachers. It is not the teachers job to make their students well behaved.   

 
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December 26, 2005, 10:04 am PST

12/26 "I Am Right!"

Quote From: blueangel777

WHEN YOU SPEAK OF EVOLUTION, THAT IS YOUR OPINION AND NOTHING MORE!!! 

  

"Evolutionarily speaking, we have sex to procreate."  

  

PEOPLE DON'T NEED TO HAVE SEX TO PROCREATE!!! 

  

IF PEOPLE HAVE SEX TO PROCREATE:  

WHY DO THEY USE METHODS TO PREVENT OR END A PREGNANCY??? 

WHAT ABOUT SAME SEX COUPLES???  NO SEX??? 

WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO BIOLOGICALLY CANNOT PRODUCE OFFSPRING???  ARE THEY TO STOP HAVING SEX??? 

AT WHAT AGE IS IT OK FOR PEOPLE TO START HAVING SEX???  DID YOU HAVE A CHILD AT AGE 12??? 

THERE ARE MORE QUESTIONS BUT I WILL STOP AT THIS. 

  

NOT HAVING SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS NOT JUST MY OPINION,   

I BELIEVE IT IS GOD'S MESSAGE AND HOPE FOR ALL OF US!!! 

  

I WILL HAPPILY LIVE AS A VIRGIN UNTIL I MARRY OR DIE!!! 

  

IN MY WORLD, IT IS THE WAY IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

BA777 

  

  

  

  

We don't only have sex to procreate, we have sex because it is a natural thing to do. 

Why use methods to end or prevent pregnancy? because we are not rabbits we can't have loads of babies, but that doesn't mean we don't want to have sex. 

Same sex couples? why do they do anything they do?  

Can't have kids? No they still wan't to have sex. Even dog's who have been fixed still hump. It's natural. 

what age....................................................... that is up to debate but my guess is on average most people don't do it at 12.  More along the lines of 16. 

If you want to live as a virgin I say more power to you ,but there is no way I ever would have died a virgin. Once your dead, your dead. I don't care what anyone has to say ,it is a fact. 

  

 
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December 28, 2005, 9:06 am PST

12/29 "Is This Normal?"

Quote From: katlynn65

Usually I agree with Dr Phil, but he was off when he thought that this type of behavior was all right as long as their children didn't hear it.  As soon as the "Is this normal?" question was asked, the first thing that came to my mind is, "Yeah, it's normal.....if you're an ill-mannered 8 year old!"

  

  

My husband and I do the same thing. The names that we call each other to anyone else would be offensive but to us they are terms of endearment. Although, since we had children we have toned them down. See, not everyone is capable of being mushy and lovey all the time. This is just a way of being playful. I have to agree with Dr. Phil that this is normal behavior. Hope I could give you another way to look at it. Good luck. 

 
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December 28, 2005, 9:12 am PST

12/29 "Is This Normal?"

Quote From: bubblesx2

Who is to say what is acceptable or not acceptable when in the privacy of your own home WITH your spouse??  

My Husband and I call eachother names all the time, Like: fat cow, loser, fatty fat fat, fat bastard.......etc.. 

  

When we saw the show together we hysterically laughed b/c we thought it was us! lol. 

Our name calling is a personal, fun thing we do with eachother and we both enjoy the banter. It also helps us release stressor any built up tension we have with the other one WITHOUT getting into an all out brawl. 

If this is what 2 consenting adults do in their own lives , who is anyone to judge them? 

  

Would it be better if we were politically correct, Mature and utterly consevative, end up with pent up anger, stress and frustration at the ones we are SUPPOSSED to love and end up in divorce court. I say , NO WAY! 

  

My Husband and I love eachother completely and we show it, there is NOTHING we wouldnt do for eachother! 

   

  

Good for you, My husband and I also enjoy our banter. I also laughed when I watched the show because I finally knew that my husband and I weren't the only ones who loved to insult each other. lol.               

 
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December 29, 2005, 9:37 am PST

Where Should Your Child Sleep?

Quote From: wendygrie

  

Hi, I have an 8-month-old and he has slept with me and my husband since coming home from the hospital.  we tried the co-sleeper bassinet, and his own crib but he just was not happy.  I do not believe in "crying it out".  So he slept with us up until a week ago.  Because he became very active, and a few times i woke up just in time to see him crawling towards the end of the bed . . we decided it was time to transition him.  He now sleeps on his crib mattress on our floor next to the bed.  I am still nursing him so he tends to nurse at 11pm and then again around 2pm, i just crawl on the floor and nurse him.  its a little more effort on my part but i think it is working fine.  We will move him into his room once he stops one of the feedings . . .I'll keep you posted . . 

  

Wendy 

  

I also have an eight month old baby and she loves sleeping with my husband and I. 

I also tried the bassinet and It was just not practical. When my baby turned about seven months old she became very active and able to crawl very fast. We still allow her to sleep with us at night as long as we are both in the bed. I am not a heavy sleeper and if she wakes up I wake right away although she doesn't hardly ever wake at night. I think it is great that you found something that works for you and don't worry about if there is a fire (like the other message said) because I'm sure the first thing you would do is pick up your baby before you ran out of the room. My daughter takes all her naps during the day on the floor and it works great. She doesn't like to sleep in her crib and the floor is the next safest place because she can't fall. If you don't have one they make these adorable little "couches" that also fold out into a mat they can sleep on. My daughter has one and she loves her's. They are perfect because you can fold it up into the couch and it doesn't take up much room but when they are ready for a nap you can fold it out and it is a great place to sleep. 

Anyways, good luck. 

 
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December 31, 2005, 3:46 pm PST

Is anyone else depressed?

           I've read what people are cooking for dinner, how everyone is doing, what they've been doing and step by step instructions on how to use this message board but not much about depression. 

Isn't that what this board is about? Just thought I'd make sure. 

 

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