Messages By: clrochnh

I am the mother of two boys and both my sons were sexually abused, assaulted and threatened by the same persons.  It was all of my fault.  I knew that my ex-husband had sexually molested and assaulted 2 boys in up state New York, yet when I needed money I did contact him to find out if he had been paying the court ordered child support.  He had been and then we started talking.  It worked he worked himself into our lives.  He is the biological father of my eldest son.  I still constantly questioned what he had said.  "Why did you plead guilty to lesser charges and spend over a year in the county jail"?  Again another lie was given to me and it sounded truthful.  You see predators are very good at lying and convincing you that they hadn't done what they were accused of.  It took almost 4 years before my older son told me what was happening.  I knew before he even told me, only because I knew what he had done in the past.  I went for my gun.  At first I didn't hear my son asking me questions.  I had my hand on the gun and I guess to be honest God stepped in and made me hear my son.  He was asking me what we were going to do?  I took my hand off the gun and told him to quietly get dressed we were going to my best friends house and then to the police department.  We did just that and the police came to the house and arrested him.  I allowed him into my home even though I knew what he had done in New York, all because I wanted to keep a roof over our heads.  That was the first biggest mistake I had ever make.  I really didn't think that he would ever touch his own sons but that is no excuse for putting my son into danger the way I did.  He plead not guilty of course.  The very next day I put my son into therapy.  Because I was allowing my ex to help me pay the bills even though he was out of the house and was not seeing my son, the State of California make him a ward of the court.  My ex was court ordered to go to therapy and he did at first.  He was also not to call the house for fear that my son would answer the phone.  On July fourth he did call and thank God I was in the house and my son was outside playing.  He asked if I would allow my son, myself and any friends including my sons thearptist to go to Disneyland, and he would pay for everything.  I told him that I would have to call the thearptist and would let him know later.  After hanging up I immediatley called his thearptist and told him what he had said.  He wanted to talk to my son.  I told my son to come in the house and he then talked to his thearptist.  I remember hearing him say "Hell no." and he gave me back the phone.  I asked to theraptist to please call my ex and tell him, which he did.  That started the ball rolling and my ex was arrested and plead guilty and got 8 years in a state prison in California.  Years later I had met another man.  At the time I had no idea that he was a drug user and an alcoholaic.  I really didn't love him but we had a son togerther.  My boys are 15 years apart.  Because of him we had been in a car accident and I had suffered a severe brain injury.  I am now totally disabled.  I had put in for Social Security.  I knew that I had to get him out of our lives and I prayed to God to help me to get him out of our house.  it worked and he broke my nose and ran home to mommy.  When my social security came in I bought a car and my sons and I moved to Montana.  I was able to buy a home but I didn't know that it wasn't a fixed mortgage and it kept going up every 6 months.  I had been getting child support through the state but they did tell my ex-husband who had gotten out of prison after 4 years and was living in Mass. the state I was in.  I had called the prison in California and talked to numerous people and they told me that he was just fine and was cured of ever wanting to touch another child.  Not knowing I believed them and so did my older son.  I had called my ex where he was working and told him that I needed more money than he was sending, he had put in for hardship because he didn't make enough money.  That started the ball rolling for my young son to be molested by my ex-husband.  After talking to him, he had asked if he could come for a 2 week visit during his vacation.  I talked with my older son and he agreed.  He would tell him that he had better not touch his brother.  He did come and he did not touch my youngest son.  About a month later he had called and asked if he could move in and help me to pay the bills so that I wouldn't loose the house?  I talked with my older son and he said yes, only because he was also taken in by him.  Within 7 to 10 days he was molesting, assautling, threatening my young son.  It took him 3 years to tell me what was going on. 

The point of this story is that no child molester can ever be changed.  They don't care who they hurt and what it takes for them to get what they want.  Both of my sons had changed and I didn't realize what was going on.  My oldest son for some reason wouldn't stay at home.  As much as he hated going grocery shopping all of a sudden he wanted to go with me.  He had gained weight and his grades in school went down.  I should have realized that something was wrong.  My ex would buy him anything he wanted, no matter what it cost.  Because of the part of my brain had died because of the accident I had forgotten so much from the past and that is why I didn't realize the same thing was happening to my youngest son.  That is no excuse.  All of this is my fault.  Please watch your children and any changes and the most important thing is to get them into therapy right away.  And please believe what they are telling you and get to the police, don't let what I did happen to your children.  God Bless to all and remember the most important thing in our lives is our children. 

I feel so badly for Todd.  He is trying so hard to make things work with his wife and he needs to know that Jessica really doesn't care about him and really doesn't want to be with him or their children.  She has proven that by having two affairs.  She is exactly what Todd's mother says she is.  If She really wanted the marriage to work she would call her boyfriend back and tell him that it is over.  She tries to put everything onto Todd and make herself look like the good one.  If I was lucky enough to have a man like Todd who obviously loves her enough to put the affairs behind and try to work things out I would love him with all my heart and do anything to make my marriage work.  I can't believe that she wouldn't even cuddle with him he should tell her good-bye and have a good life.  Look at the beautiful home she has and the 3 beautiful boys that only want to love both their parents. The hell they are going through is awful but at least their father wants to try and make it work.  I truly believe that Todd should let Jessica go and find a woman that will love him no matter how heavy he is and will love his children as if they were hers.  Besides look at Jessica she has  no right to call Todd a Fat Ass.  She certainly isn't skinny.  Jessica has a lot of hate in her and she wants everything her way and no other way.  She needs to go to her boyfriend and leave Todd and his sons alone.  I can't believe she doesn't get up to make breakfast for the boys.  As far as Jessica is concerned she is #1 and there is no one else but her.

I really like Todd's mom.  She knows the truth about Jessica and Jessica certainly doesn't like the truth.

TODD GET OUT OFF THE MARRIAGE AND FIND A WOMAN THAT WILL PUT YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN FIRST.  GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS TO YOU AND YOUR SONS.

I think that there is a possibility that the mother knows who is doing the molesting.  It could be one of her boy friends.  It could also be the father.  But to be honest I am not sure as yet.  Again, why isn't the father in jail awaiting a trial and why didn't Dr. Phil say something about his being arrested.  Now for the new wife something is definitely wrong with her.  She is acting weird and like she is in never never land.

The ex-wife does drugs.  Could it be one of your boyfriends or another friend?

Too many questions.

I am a veteran from the Vietnam Era, which was said it was a conflict not a war, but as we all know it definitely was a war.  When I got out of the Army, I was never told about the being able to go to a VA hospital nor was I ever told anything about getting any kind of help   On April 12, 1989, I was in a car accident.  When I woke up I was in a hospital in Miami (Jackson Memorial).  I woke up in ICU and my head had been shaven.  I had no idea where I was nor what had happened.  Not going into the entire story, the medical conditions I was left with are: I don't smell or taste, I have uncontrollable seizures, I have lost all of my long term and short term memory.  I did file for social security and I did get it.  I still didn't know anything about the VA system.  I met someone at the VA hospital where I was sent to take tests for social security because I was a veteran and he told me about the VA and what I could get.  I immediately went to the DAV and applied for all of the services I could get, which wasn't much.  Since I was now disabled and could no longer work, I was told that I should be able to get a non-service connected pension.  Well that didn't happen.  This occured in Detroit. Michigan.  When I took both of my sons and left Michigan, we moved to Billings, MT.  There I contacted a Senator, and he was able to get me what is called a Housebound Pension.  I thought that was fantastic knowing that I would have social security and a pension my two sons and I would be doing just fine.  Until April 12. 2006, I had a very bad seizure which broke my right ankle.  The VA at Fort Harrison did approve for me to have surgery at a private hospital since Fort Harrison, VAMC was too far from me.  Everything was fine, until both my orthopedic surgeon and neurologist wrote a letter to my primary doctor requesting that I be given Aid and Attendance, because there was no way that I would be able to walk on my foot for 6 to 8 weeks.  At the time my young son was 6 years old and my older son was not living at home and I had no one to help me.  This was written in the proper papers requesting Aid and Attendance along with the copies of the letters from the doctors, but my primary care doctor kept refusing me and the request from the doctors.  Therefore, I had no choice but to walk on my foot.  I had no one to come in and help me with the cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, etc., and the end result is that I had to have 3 more surgeries, where I now no longer have a calf, right ankle and my foot is deformed.  The swelling in my leg and toes and the pain are unreal.  I put in for an Administrative Torte Claim, asking for ten million dollars.  I had hired an attorney, and my mistake was that he didn't know what he was doing, and I didn't know what I needed to do and of course to the happiness of the government they denied my claim.  I had no idea that I had only two years to find another attorney and put in another claim.  As the years have gone by I have had a lot more dealings with the VA system and the things that I heard today are all true.  My younger son and I moved to PA three years ago and I have to be honest when I tell you that I have the best primary doctor in the world.  He is there for all of the veterans and he makes sure that whatever I need I get.  But there are other issues that he has no control over and that is dental.  I have lost all but 5 teeth in my mouth and I have constant infections and open roots, but since I did not get hurt during the Vietnam War I am not intitled to get any dental services.  Unless I want to pay $182.00 dollars for a tooth to be pulled.  I can't afford that.  Oh, I did leave something out.  When I had moved to Florida, there was a social worker at the VAMC in Lake City, and because of her and all of a sudden I was put on Aid and Attendance.  Explain that one.  Back to PA where we live now.  I put in 1151 papers and just this month I was denied.  I was denied for my depression, my teeth and for my leg.  How they could do that I don't understand.  I need help in finding and attorney so that I can go infront of the Rating Board, and show them what was done to me and how my leg is deformed.  What my young son has had to grow through because I wasn't given Aid and Attendance back in 1996 and when I filed the Administrative Torte Claim.  Also, I go to the VAMC in Lebanon, PA and no matter what appointment I have to go too I make sure that my son is always in the room with me, except for when I see my primary doctor and the PA I see for psych.  She is also fantastic.  Here is another bit of information for you.  When I had been assigned to a doctor to see in psych, I saw a man who was either from Iran of India, and I was not comfortable with him and he told me infront of my son that if I didn't talk with him, he would stop my medications.  I couldn't believe what he had said and I got home and called the director of psych, and he assigned me to PA I have now who is absolutely fantastic just like my primary.  I need help and I deserve to have compensation for what was  not done for me and what was done to me.  How do I go about doing that when I can't afford an attorney?  Thank you, for listening too me.  Also, in reference to what the VA said about housing, that isn't true, if you don't have perfect credit they won't finance you.