Messages By: ladyracer

i have one of those too though my brother is actually my biological father. i was adopted by his parents when i was very young. he is supposed to be paying his mom (mine also now) rent every month, but it seems she never gets it. i opffered to assist him in getting his GED as he does not have a diploma...well, he didn't want it. so that to me screams, i would rather be a mooching loser than provide at all.  

      it is upsetting to me that 1 he gave up on me at a very young age. thet he never really tried to provide for me. and that 2. he is still making excuses. and MOM LETS HIM. 

   she is always complaining that she has no money for groceries but will not take the next step in recieving what she is due. i for one would not let my son mooch off of me to the point where i couldn't afford my groceries. i love him but NO! 

i am 24 and taking care of my father who is 78 and bed ridden. he was in a 4 wheeler accident last year (he used it for tranportation to and from the barn, he didn't ride it like a kid) about 30 feet in front of the house. things have gone down hill since then. i have to change him when he urinates or has a bowel movement, and it gets really depressing to see him in this situation. i try to keep smiling and keep my chin up, but sometimes i could drown in the depression of seeing him like this. knowing that he used to be up every day at 6AM to keep the farm up. there has been so much extra responsibility placed on my Mom and I to keep things going around here. those who said that they were going to help, just left us sort of hanging here by the solitary thread of mild sanity that my Mom and I share. i don't know why they would just leave us afdter they had promised us they would be here. things are just so hard. some days he seems to not even know who we are. i can tell when it's going to be bad day. Dad will just get the "glass eyed" stare. he seems to stare through you. on those days (like today) it is very hard to get any coopoeration. Mom had by-pass surgery last year before Dad's accident, and she has had to help me as the other who promised to be here has since decided she wants no part of caring for her father. 

     i know dad misses her and would love to see her. i just don't uinderstand how to get her to see it. i have been nice to her, i have tried to explain toi her. hell, i have even told her that it is only her that keeps from helping. she says she is to busy to help. she has done all she can for us, she has no time. well, she has time to go to the casino. GRRRRRR. i just really don't know what to do. 

     the rest of my family, my son, my husband... they are all suffering from my depression, my extra stress of all this new responsibilty. i don't know if i am being selfish in sometimes just wanting to live my life, after all, i am only 24. but i refuse to be like the others and turn my back on mom and dad, so, here i am suffering out my loyalty. 

Amber 

yes, i like to race when i get the chance. mostly at the local drag strip. i used to be one of those dumb kids (thank god for change) who would do the weekend street racing. after i discovered there was a time and more importantly a place for everything, i began to run at the local drag strip. it is a great stress reliever, but here lately...the car is down, and winter upon me, soooo....no relief, no racing, and a lot of pent up stress. 

COME ON SPRING!!!!!!!! 

never in my life have i seen someone so insesitive in all of my life. 24 years is not a long time, but in my 24 years....i'm glad i couldn't get to that woman, can we even call her a woman? a woman has feeling, heart. all she seemed to have was resentment, bitterness, and a lackluster feeling of overwhelmed. maybe one should think about things such as this befopre taking the vows of forever huh? i know if my husband were to need anything remotely close to what this man needed i would do whatever it took to provide ofr him. if it meant a trailolr in the woods, fine, atleast he would be alive. i can't believe that people can be so...HEARTLESS! 

----:sigh:----- 

what is the world coming to? do vows mean nothing anymore?