I feel for your situation, you sound like a resonable person, however, I need to pipe in. It sounds to me like you are putting a lot of blame on this young man who fathered your daughter's baby. Did he know she is bipolar? I just don't think that is fair. Just because she is bipolar, doesn't mean that she is stupid. She knew what she was getting into when she spent the weekend with him, to not recognize that would be silly. You can't make a baby with just sperm.
My fiance's ex is bipolar and boy is she bipolar. She is extremely unstable, but thanks to her mom who made her move in with her so she can make sure she got custody, his children are living with this. She drinks exsesivly, she parties way too much, is abusive, and is extremely reckless when it comes to sleeping around. She cheated on my finace so many times that there are new names popping up even today. I asked my fiance to get a paternity test on his children but he refuses. She has contracted an STD and does not tell the men she sleeps with and is in complete denial about her condition. Her mother makes sure she is medicated though, if it wasn't for her, there would be no meds and those kids would still be with their father. Her mother is an enabler in this situation and needs to mind her own business. Neither one of them wanted anything to do with the kids before he and I got together. She is a very good liar and manipulator.
I am sure you are aware of this but here are some symptoms of bipolar disorder, people like this have no business having children or raising them.
Manic Episode
SYMPTOMS
A manic episode is not a disorder in and of itself, but rather is a part of a type of bipolar disorder.
A manic episode is characterized by period of time where an elevated, expansive or notably irritable mood is present, lasting for at least one week. These feelings must be sufficiently severe to cause difficulty or impairment in occupational, social, educational or other important functioning and can not be better explained by a mixed episode. Symptoms also can not be the result of substance use or abuse (e.g., alcohol, drugs, medications) or caused by a general medical condition. Three or more of the following symptoms must be present:
- Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity
- Decreased need for sleep (e.g., one feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep)
- More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking
- Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing
- Attention is easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant items
- Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation
- Excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments)
Major Depressive Episode
SYMPTOMS
A major depressive episode is not a disorder in itself, but rather is a description of part of a disorder, most often
major depressive disorder or
bipolar disorder.
A person who suffers from a major depressive episode must either have a depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure in daily activities consistently for at least a 2 week period. This mood must represent a change from the person's normal mood; social, occupational, educational or other important functioning must also be negatively impaired by the change in mood. A major depressive episode is also characterized by the presence of 5 or more of these symptoms:
- Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feeling sad or empty) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). (In children and adolescents, this may be characterized as an irritable mood.)
- Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day
- Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day.
- Insomnia (inability to sleep) or hypersomnia (sleeping too much) nearly every day
- Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day
- Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day
- Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt nearly every day
- Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day
- Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide
All of these symptoms she has and is taking care of the children (I use that lightly because I know her mom who is disabled is taking care of them). She doesn't drive, she doesn't take care of herself, she thinks she is a witch who can cast spells on people, she doesn't attend any parent/teacher conferences, she has blue hair now (this changes on a monthly basis, last month it was fire engine red), she wears a pentagram like it was a trophy (she is proud to be a solitary witch!), this is the first job she has had that has lasted more than a month, the kids miss so much school I am shocked they are even promoted to the next grade, she is unrealiable, unstable, she teaches the kids to lie and cheat, but that having friends and music is what is important, she does not take care of their health, she is taking over a $1000.00 a month for child support and yet is on welfare (I don't even want to know how she pulled that one off!), she tells the kids the most horrible things about their father, tells them not to believe him, got their daughter screaming when she sees her father who raised her, tells her daughter about daddy's whore (7 years old and I guess she came up with that one all by herself). When his daughter was hospitalized after she tried to stab my daughter in the back with a butcher knife (mom told her to do that, well at least that is when she told the doctors) they thought that she was psychofrenic, that is what is taught to those kids. How to lie that well that for 2 weeks she fooled an entire staff of doctors.
Sorry for the ramble and I hope I made sense. This is a very sore spot for me and my family and I just can't stand when someone defends it! For all of these reasons and more I remain cynical to anyone with this condition raising children.
