Messages By: tedcoogle

For years I have lived as a survivor. I come from a divorce home and some what dysfunctional. I was molested as a toddler on a few occasions and never told anyone until I was an adult. I was held down by a group of boys on school bus and touched inappropriately at age 12 then was labeled a whore something I heard my father say about my mother in my early years. I had a son when I was 19 by the man that went all the way with  me at 13 yrs.old, he was 11 yrs. older than I. We married before our son was born. My son's father was an abusive man. He abused alcohol and myself weekly. I survived that and left only then to turn to alcohol and drugs myself. My son suffered so much from that. Years into my addictions I met a loving man to whom we planned to marry until one fatal night when my boyfriend, his friend and I went out drinking. I lost a wonderful  guy that night and I nearly lost my life. My back was broke, my bone in right leg was exposed and broke, my left leg, the femur stuck out enough that I could  and did wrap my hand on it thinking it was a stick in my leg. Where I was thrown was a horse pasture and I got infection in the left femur as a result I lost nearly 7 inches of the femur. I have had too many operations to remember a number. I was blessed to have been able to kept that leg, but that wasn't the end of my addictions. I added  too my story,more drugs, more abusive sick relationships. Finally my many attempts  to be alcohol and drug free clicked. March 14, 1997 was the last day I drank alcohol.  Because of all my surgeries I have had access to pain medicine and have really had to keep on top of it therefore I don't claim to be drug free. There have been really brief periods of concern, but I have survived. Today I am in a loving relationship to  a wonderful guy and I am recovering from my third and hopefully last surgery in this past year. January 6th of 2006 I bought my first pair of shoes that did not need to left shoe built up nor have a brace attached to it. I have survived all this which for years has been what I settled for and was to be enough others would say. I turned 46 yrs. old January 8th. I watch the show daily and have took what I needed from each show and applied to my life. I even bought a book  by Dr.Phil ( haven't read yet). I have bought another book  Bad Childhood Good Life by Dr. Laura Schlessinger and have read it plus listened to it on cd. The book has been another of my many blessings. That is why I say I am on the road to being a conqueror today because it is not enough for me to be a survivor. Lisa my heart goes out to you because I have been where you are and have said what you have said. Lisa don't stop before the miracle, hold on it is possible, I am proof. When I had trouble holding on I asked a higher power to hold on to me and it worked. I am in your corner as well as some of my friends. Sincerely